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Woman tries to steal a frying pan by wedging it in her ass

  1. #21
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    I caught one guy that had literally 6 pair of shoes on him. Shoes for the whole family. He had one pair stuffed behind, two pairs stuffed in front, and one pair in each armpit, and one shoe in each sock. I was up in the view port with the binoculars and I spot him going out past the service desk looking just like a giant teddy bear, with his elbows sticking out at a ridiculous angle, and walking with an exaggerated swagger. I stopped him just outside the front exit, flipped my badge, and he says, "What? What??", like I'm an idiot or something. When I reached for one of the pairs already starting to come out from his armpit, he drew back quickly and said, "Hey!", so I nailed him to the pavement with an elbow jammed down on his neck and told him to shut the fuck up, and he started to cry and squealed out something to the effect that his family had no shoes, so he had to steal them.
  2. #22
    Grylls motherfucker [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Originally posted by -SpectraL I caught one guy that had literally 6 pair of shoes on him. Shoes for the whole family. He had one pair stuffed behind, two pairs stuffed in front, and one pair in each armpit. I was up in the view port with the binoculars and I spot him going out past the service desk looking just like a giant teddy bear, with his elbows sticking out at a ridiculous angle, and walking with an exaggerated swaggered. I stopped him just outside the front exit, flipped my badge, and he says, "What? What??", like I'm an idiot or something. When I reached for one of the pairs already starting to come out from his armpit, he drew back quickly and said, "Hey!", so I nailed him to the pavement with an elbow jammed down on his neck and told him to shut the fuck up, and he started to cry and squealed out something to the effect that his family had no shoes, so he had to steal them.

    i will read that when i’m taking my morning shit
  3. #23
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    I remember this one clown who came in and grabbed about 30-40 packs of double-A batteries and distributed them all around his waistband and then headed for the exit, and his t-shirt was so puffed out at the bottom it looked ridiculous, more like a dress/tutu than a t-shirt. When I was walking him back inside the store he took a sucker shot at me but missed, and we ended up going a round right there, and as we're throwing punches back and forth all the battery packs fly out of his waistband and fall all over the pavement, so we're both skidding and skating back and forth literally on top all these battery packs and throwing punches the whole time. I finally got him in a headlock and started to squeeze his neck to cut off his oxygen supply and he gurgled out that he gave up. Then I had to get a staff to pick up all the battery packs so bystanders couldn't scoop any up and leave with them. Too funny.
  4. #24
    Grylls motherfucker [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson God damn, no one want's her bacon and eggs.

    where the fuck u at
  5. #25
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
    That went back on the shelf.

    And someone bought it.
  6. #26
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by Obbe That went back on the shelf.

    And someone bought it.

    And they didn't even need any grease for their first pork chops.
  7. #27
    Archer513 African Astronaut
    She tried to steal a frying pan...but stole my heart.
  8. #28
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    The best way to steal would be to climb up on the roof with a fishing rod and make a hole and "fish" items back up through the hole.
  9. #29
    Solstice African Astronaut
    Originally posted by -SpectraL I remember this one clown who came in and grabbed about 30-40 packs of double-A batteries and distributed them all around his waistband and then headed for the exit, and his t-shirt was so puffed out at the bottom it looked ridiculous, more like a dress/tutu than a t-shirt. When I was walking him back inside the store he took a sucker shot at me but missed, and we ended up going a round right there, and as we're throwing punches back and forth all the battery packs fly out of his waistband and fall all over the pavement, so we're both skidding and skating back and forth literally on top all these battery packs and throwing punches the whole time. I finally got him in a headlock and started to squeeze his neck to cut off his oxygen supply and he gurgled out that he gave up. Then I had to get a staff to pick up all the battery packs so bystanders couldn't scoop any up and leave with them. Too funny.

    You're getting delusional again.
  10. #30
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
    Originally posted by -SpectraL I remember this one clown who came in and grabbed about 30-40 packs of double-A batteries and distributed them all around his waistband and then headed for the exit, and his t-shirt was so puffed out at the bottom it looked ridiculous, more like a dress/tutu than a t-shirt. When I was walking him back inside the store he took a sucker shot at me but missed, and we ended up going a round right there, and as we're throwing punches back and forth all the battery packs fly out of his waistband and fall all over the pavement, so we're both skidding and skating back and forth literally on top all these battery packs and throwing punches the whole time. I finally got him in a headlock and started to squeeze his neck to cut off his oxygen supply and he gurgled out that he gave up. Then I had to get a staff to pick up all the battery packs so bystanders couldn't scoop any up and leave with them. Too funny.

    Bootlicker.
  11. #31
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by Obbe Bootlicker.

    Didn't scare.
  12. #32
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
    Originally posted by -SpectraL Didn't scare.

    Neither were the storm troopers.
  13. #33
    Solstice African Astronaut
    Spectral once choke slammed a 400 lb TV thief in the Kmart parking lot with one hand tied behind his back.
  14. #34
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by Solstice Spectral once choke slammed a 400 lb TV thief in the Kmart parking lot with one hand tied behind his back.

    While replying to a text message.
  15. #35
    Grylls motherfucker [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Originally posted by -SpectraL While replying to a text message.

    bullshit, no one txts you
  16. #36
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by Grylls bullshit, no one txts you

    I always get a text message right while I'm fighting bears. It's quite annoying.
  17. #37
    stl1 African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Grylls i dont get it




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