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The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
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2019-06-22 at 4:28 PM UTCI just spent 10 minutes scraping my grinder and empty bags and I got a bowl of kief and I am high now. Also got some resin.
I wish I didn't like ^9THC so much -
2019-06-22 at 4:31 PM UTC
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2019-06-22 at 5:43 PM UTC
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2019-06-22 at 6:31 PM UTC
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2019-06-22 at 7:07 PM UTC
Originally posted by Common De-mominator I cannot enjoy experiences properly any more because for some reason I am always hyper observant of my own mental processes. When I place something sweet upon my tongue, I immediately notice how hollow the experience is. Like it's there, and it "feels good" in a certain way. But there's nothing really to it, I sort of examine it and ultimately it just feels like another mere happening. Even when I'm having sex, I will literally find myself observing myself mentally and not actually being in the moment.
Yeah, especially after being on tramadol, even though I am hyper in tuned with my senses, everything feels like an electric activity instead of actual feelings, which I guess makes sense because it's true more or less, but it never use to feel like that. Everything kind of chemistry now and lost its appeal, I went on rides at an amusement park and they were still fun but like there was absolutely not a shred of anticipation/build up in line because it's like there's none of that "Ooohhh I could be the 1 of of 100 million that" no, it's kind of like my body isn't even a thing, which it's not really but I never really thought of it like that before, but now the cat's of out the box and here it is, it's chemistry I guess now.
But not thats not all negative, not even close, it makes way more sense now kind of, and it makes science come to me a lot easier and food and taste and touch and sight and sound etc etc all make more sense now and I get it but it's weird. -
2019-06-22 at 7:17 PM UTCcaptain falcon clearly just started smoking weed because nobody ever offered it to him before
I'm just taking 1 perc today -
2019-06-22 at 7:29 PM UTC
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2019-06-22 at 10:28 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo captain falcon clearly just started smoking weed because nobody ever offered it to him before
I'm just taking 1 perc today
I only started using weed a couple years ago because I was in recovery after a surgery and was dealing with chronic pain. I refused the opiates that my doctor prescribed because as some might remember, I was completely straight edge 2ith regards to drugs. I never drank never did anything, never even smoked a cigarette. Well I had 1 puff of weed with a friend when I was a kid and didn't get high.
So I didn't want to take opiates because I heard many stories of people getting addicted to painkillers, ODing etc and I was like fuck that shit. So I spent ~2-3 months with a shattered femur with zero pain assistance and just sucked it up.
I couldn't sleep. I would sit vs lay as long as possible because lying down made my everything hurt. I would literally stay awake until I passed out.
Then one of my friends saw I was in agony and essentially forced me to take a weed gummy. It really helped me cope with the pain (it still hurt like a motherfucker but it was easy to tune it out, no problem). And I ended up enjoying it a lot. Music was more fun, cartoons were more fun etc.
But now it's gotten to the point where it's just making me mad depressed. -
2019-06-22 at 10:59 PM UTCI HATE THIS FUCKING RESTAURANT
NO WAY AM I WAITING IN THERE
COLD PIZZA IT IS, PRICKS -
2019-06-22 at 11:23 PM UTCOn my way home from Chicago so I guess imma be smoking weed tonight... Hmm, is this what it feels like to be psychologically addicted to something?
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2019-06-23 at 10:26 AM UTCFeels good not waking up feeling like ass. I could get use to this. Going to clean my apartment then go the gym.
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2019-06-23 at 12:30 PM UTC
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2019-06-23 at 12:36 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo no
although you would suck dick for weed, the drug doesn't factor into your decision as to whether or not to suck the dick, it just provides you with an excuse for having done so
so I've been doing extremely well with not drinking and doing pills, I didn't even take any percs yesterday. I even quit cigs for the most part. I haven't had a strong urge for the feeling of cocaine (beyond the degenerate destructive experience that accompanies it) for a week or two now. I think I got this. I'm going to inevitably drink tho which can lead to poor choices so I need to mitigate the damage.
My biggest issues rn don't have to do with my use of substances, merely my destructive patterns that result in their use. I have good friends and shitty friends. The girl I spend the most time with knows me pretty well and I can't even take nexium for my stomach without her looking at me funny and regurgitating the pill so she can see it's not drug drugs.
I like seeing bad drug addicts I know and being reminded how pathetic they are. It's a pretty good deterrent knowing I'm making comparatively way better choices
>makes fun of people for being addicted to weed
>smokes cigarettes
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2019-06-23 at 12:36 PM UTC@soodoo
Comparatively doesn't matter. If your choices are making you unhappy, your addiction is "bad enough". -
2019-06-23 at 1:01 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo no
although you would suck dick for weed, the drug doesn't factor into your decision as to whether or not to suck the dick, it just provides you with an excuse for having done so
You are shit at being edgy and I'm going to ignore this again because I respect this thread, unlike you.so I've been doing extremely well with not drinking and doing pills, I didn't even take any percs yesterday. I even quit cigs for the most part. I haven't had a strong urge for the feeling of cocaine (beyond the degenerate destructive experience that accompanies it) for a week or two now. I think I got this. I'm going to inevitably drink tho which can lead to poor choices so I need to mitigate the damage.
My biggest issues rn don't have to do with my use of substances, merely my destructive patterns that result in their use. I have good friends and shitty friends. The girl I spend the most time with knows me pretty well and I can't even take nexium for my stomach without her looking at me funny and regurgitating the pill so she can see it's not drug drugs.
I like seeing bad drug addicts I know and being reminded how pathetic they are. It's a pretty good deterrent knowing I'm making comparatively way better choices
Oh that sucks you should do suicide about it, that's a medical prescription. -
2019-06-23 at 1:03 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER @soodoo
Comparatively doesn't matter. If your choices are making you unhappy, your addiction is "bad enough".
Yeah that's what ppl in na say and I agree however falcon is objectively a faggot. I remember going to NA meetings and hearing people talk about weed and feeling angry I was wasting my house arrested time listening to someone go on about such stupidness.
I ran into someone I knew from NA at the gym a month or so ago, he said he was off a (probably crack) rum for 2 or 3 months and asked if I went to meetings and I said no and he asked me if I still smoked a lot of weed (I assume he knew because I'd come in smelling like it or may be talked to someone else since 12 step groups are super gossipy) and I said yeah and he tried to make it seem like I don't need it and it's a problem so I told him of my issues with chronic pain and the alternative is to take a bunch of painkillers and he was like "dam you're probably right idk what I'd do in that situation" and I gave him my phone number and he called me like 2 hours later and I didn't answer. What a fucking weirdo -
2019-06-23 at 1:13 PM UTCNo triggers this weekend which was good. Didn't drink any spirits and was around friends that don't do coke. Was a chilled Friday, had a little fire in the back garden. I did drink "John Smiths", 3.6% bitter. Smoked some weed but that was it. My friend is going to sell me one of his weed vapes. I'll get a nornal vape friday so then I'll have no need for tobacco ever.
I've realised the line between relapse and sobriety is very fragile, being around good people and away from the chances of even getting hold of any coke is the only way. -
2019-06-23 at 1:30 PM UTC
Originally posted by Octavian I've realised the line between relapse and sobriety is very fragile, being around good people and away from the chances of even getting hold of any coke is the only way.
Least rn. You have to build strength by being clean so you can have a foundation to deal with lifes stressors. Finding things to do helps you move in another direction away from dope and forge a new path.
Casper is there any advantage to methadone over box? I really can't think of any -
2019-06-23 at 2:13 PM UTCI'm gonna purchase drugs because i have nothing else to spend money on.
It's hard to be sober when I have taken a vow of poverty and don't care about materialism. Like most people buy themselves new clothes and electronics and video games or whatever and I don't do any of that.
I've been wearing the same stuff for 5 years because I don't care about vanity. I barely eat or spend money on food, I haven't bought a video game in over a year. All I spend money on is weed, coffee, bread and my girlfriend.
Maybe I'll take her on a date tonightThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-06-23 at 4:04 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo Least rn. You have to build strength by being clean so you can have a foundation to deal with lifes stressors. Finding things to do helps you move in another direction away from dope and forge a new path.
Casper is there any advantage to methadone over box? I really can't think of any
Yes, there is one advantage. It seems to be reducing CASPER's anxiety about the whole thing going to be getting super intense and difficult later on, but in my experience going slow is the worst way to do it, and I've done it both ways. I started out going slow because it made me less anxious about it, but doing it again I would have done it rapid the whole way. Methadone is the worst way besides CT to do it IMO.
To clarify, with heroin I haven't done slow taper; I did rapid taper with suboxone which is far superior IMO. Opioid w/d isn't easy, but it is easy compared to benzo w/d. I did slow taper off xanax and the cutting of my dose in half was bad, but yet bad, cutting in half again was the same but worse, and then slow tapering once I got to 2mg/day way a living nightmare that I eventually had to drastically speed up, which was the best thing I could have done by a kilometer. Slow withdrawal off of that last 25% is unnecessary torture, and slow tapering off of the first 50% is an unnecessary waste of time and a confidence killer constantly being reminded of how freaking long this takes, and using methadone in particular is straight up not a good idea because of how ungodly long acting it is, esp. given how suboxone is plenty long acting itself.
A rapid taper to half of Casper's pretty hefty yet dose (I know you were on more) would not be much more painful than doing his slow, drawn out taper that takes drastically more time. Once you get to that point, begin backing off again. That's how I would'a started my xanax taper if I were to do it again. Then I would advise to slow up and catch your breath for a few weeks with a slow taper again to get off another 25% (I was on 8mg xanax a day for 4 years, so my body was VERY well dependent, mind you) and then go hamdog again. That last 25% is brutal, which is why you do NOT want to take it slow. That's the worst thing you can possibly do.
I finally went from a baby-me year+ long taper to a full out get off in a couple weeks taper, and it was hell, but it was finally done and instead of me being in a 4-6 month torture chamber in which I would have been beaten so bad and lost all confidence, I instead withdrew the rest of the way off at home (and work at first) hallucinating, never sleeping, tremoring, writhing in pain, brain popping, having manic episodes, thinking God made me a prophet and was telling me to go do reckless things which I starting doing then decided not to and thought I was going to hell being punished by (what I now know are migraines and neuropathy) curses, etc.
But it was the best decision possible because I could not continue my slow taper for an extended period of time, or even stay at my current dose for a while. I would have completely lost it and probably wouldn't have gotten it &/or came back. I would have had to either raise my dose or go to a psych ward, and neither of those were valid options for me.
I think what you're doing is technically OK, but I think you're spending way more of your life on opioids than you need to, and I think the time you're spending on them probably isn't as valuable as the time you'll spend off of them...know what I mean? Suboxone for 6 days was enough to get me clean off H, and maybe for a month or two would be better for you, idk, but I think this methadone business is very costly to your time with very limited benefit to your recovery/comfort besides curbing anxiety which you will almost certainly find as I did, is laughable once you realize how painless cutting 50% is, and how fucking freeing it is to cut your withdrawal time in half *snap* just like that.
Keep at it bro. Lean on the guys who have done it.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
