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How to send a proper text message to a drug dealer

  1. #1
    Ghost Black Hole
    This is always the default for when you need to message a dealer you havent dealt with before.

    Start the message with "hey man" and mention some details about what you want.

    Always start it with "hey man" it's like secret code word karma and I always get good results using it.
  2. #2
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    Just say no to drugs
  3. #3
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    Just say "You busy?" to drugs.
  4. #4
    HTS highlight reel
    Don't say anything to drugs. They can't understand you... they're drugs.
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  5. #5
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Holy fuck, I had the awkward drug-dealer moment of the CENTURY today...

    So A (we'll call him A), had hooked me up with a few hundred worth of crack before.

    I always assumed there was an automatic commission or some other form of compensation for his third-party marketing and client-discovery.

    Then today, I buy a zip (ounce) of meth off of him, and it gets to this really awkward point, kinda like when you're buying takeout (and picking it up yourself), and you're just not sure what the tipping protocol is.

    Fuck, it was brutal.

    I threw him $20 (on top of the $700 for the zip) and told him we'll talk more about it in the future.
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  6. #6
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    And I've had to text him to remind him I'm buying from him before... One night I straight up said "yo, if you're not gonna come out, I'll find it somewhere else", and ended up scoring in the backstreets of Chilliwack.

    He actually texted me the next day to apologize for the inconvenience.

    I think my dude is a good dude.
  7. #7
    i just take etizolam first so nothing feels awkward then im just like AYE YO I CAN GET A 60 OF THAT DANK BLOW U HAD THE OTHER DAY and they get mad and tell me they only sell half g for 40 or g for 80 and im like OH MY BAD ILL TAKE A G THEN LMAO
  8. #8
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    Originally posted by gadzooks Holy fuck, I had the awkward drug-dealer moment of the CENTURY today…

    So A (we'll call him A), had hooked me up with a few hundred worth of crack before.

    I always assumed there was an automatic commission or some other form of compensation for his third-party marketing and client-discovery.

    Then today, I buy a zip (ounce) of meth off of him, and it gets to this really awkward point, kinda like when you're buying takeout (and picking it up yourself), and you're just not sure what the tipping protocol is.

    Fuck, it was brutal.

    I threw him $20 (on top of the $700 for the zip) and told him we'll talk more about it in the future.

    This is good stuff. Learning lots. I never knew you had to tip your dealer!
  9. #9
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III i just take etizolam first so nothing feels awkward then im just like AYE YO I CAN GET A 60 OF THAT DANK BLOW U HAD THE OTHER DAY and they get mad and tell me they only sell half g for 40 or g for 80 and im like OH MY BAD ILL TAKE A G THEN LMAO

    That's brilliant. That's your ace in the hole. You can never lose.
  10. #10
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by tee hee hee This is good stuff. Learning lots. I never knew you had to tip your dealer!

    Well shit, neither did I.

    It depends on if he's an Official Dealer TM or just somebody who hooks you up with drugs.

    If it's the latter, then tipping is a really nice thing to do.
  11. #11
    Ughhu Tuskegee Airman [tepidly antiquate my affinity]
    If the cash exchange was with you and the third party he already made money marking it up. If you handed cash to his source then you should give him some cash
  12. #12
    Flatulant_bomb Tuskegee Airman
    Hugs not drugs. Would I be pimping if I tip for a hug?
  13. #13
    while we're on the topic how good are you all with the cash/drugs hand off? i always feel like they want it done a certain way and everyone is kinda different and usually they try to be slick about it but i misunderstand and it ends up looking more conspicuous than if we had just been obvious about it but it doesn't matter because nobody is watching/nobody cares anyways

    im also always polite about whenever i see a drug deal/hand off going down in public, as soon as i notice whats going on i just look somewhere else so as to assuage their potential paranoia. and because i don't want to get stabbed because some homeless tweaker in psychosis thinks im a cop
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  14. #14
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Ughhu If the cash exchange was with you and the third party he already made money marking it up. If you handed cash to his source then you should give him some cash

    That's the very crux of the issue. I assumed he was bringing me to his dealer and it would go down like that.

    But he actually put up $700 of his own money for the ounce, and then brought it to me.

    It was just perplexing.

    Of course I felt obligated to give him something.
  15. #15
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    All good tips. Lol

    "Drug buying etiquette for beginners"
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  16. #16
    RisiR † 29 Autism
    Originally posted by gadzooks Holy fuck, I had the awkward drug-dealer moment of the CENTURY today…

    So A (we'll call him A), had hooked me up with a few hundred worth of crack before.

    I always assumed there was an automatic commission or some other form of compensation for his third-party marketing and client-discovery.

    Then today, I buy a zip (ounce) of meth off of him, and it gets to this really awkward point, kinda like when you're buying takeout (and picking it up yourself), and you're just not sure what the tipping protocol is.

    Fuck, it was brutal.

    I threw him $20 (on top of the $700 for the zip) and told him we'll talk more about it in the future.

    I was so out of my mind high on coke and speed one time that I gave a dude double the amount of money for some benzos. It was basically all the money I had but I felt super pimp just tossing it at him.
  17. #17
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III i just take etizolam first so nothing feels awkward then im just like AYE YO I CAN GET A 60 OF THAT DANK BLOW U HAD THE OTHER DAY and they get mad and tell me they only sell half g for 40 or g for 80 and im like OH MY BAD ILL TAKE A G THEN LMAO

    I've literally slapped people in the head or pushed them over for saying heat shit like that on the phone, especially via text message. One time I was high on coke and some messaged me a sketchy heat text and I met them in an alleyway, looking around everywhere to see if they were tailing me with undercover, told them never to message me again and then left with their money. The next day I felt bad and gave them extra dope but they were upset and I still told them never to call me again after that.

    Drug users are the worst
  18. #18
    Ghost Black Hole
    Oh shit that was you!
  19. #19
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Much better to start with, "Hey, bro...". It's just more intimate than "man".
  20. #20
    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    I didn't read the OP as I first came to ponder what would happen if a drug dealer got angry with you for no good reason. What if it was not the proper day, and he decided to cluck you for a fool.
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