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Captain's Log

  1. #1
    Ketonaut Yung Blood
    Star date
    07.30.2018

    Having just quit my job as a bus driver, I found myself sleeping in my uber car when I got a call:

    A bunch of shady cops I know started a fly by night trucking company and quit their jobs - and they asked if I'd drive with them... that was 7 days ago.

    As a homeless uber driver, I genuinely wanted to try living in a truck for a while instead of my car. So, the adventure began.

    We'll start with a re-cap.
    Day 1.

    I'd never driven a Manuel transmission or a 26 foot flat bed truck so my buddy coached me through my first day with a fully loaded truck. (26 foot flat bed does not require a commercial drivers licence)
    For the reccord, it was his first time driving a vehicle this size too

    Day 3.
    I had to use anti-psychotics to counter the delerium induced by sleep deprivation (I carry anti-psychotics in my wallet at all times for such occasions. They can also be used to block the effects of psychedelics if someone has a bad trip. But that's a story for another day...)

    In the last 7 days, our 2 man crew has driven through montana, utah, arizona, Nevada & idaho delivering loads.

    Day 7. (Today)
    We are currently on the road to east with a fresh batch of cargo.


    These logs will continue and include periodic updates.

    If anyone has any questions - no matter how ridiculous- feel free to post and I'll respond.
  2. #2
    EllariaSand African Astronaut
    Hmmmmmmm 🤔

    Identical double posts....who does that....
  3. #3
    joerell African Astronaut [twine our circinate supersymmetry]
    No one cares...get lost in space.
  4. #4
    Ketonaut Yung Blood
    Captain's Log, supplemental.

    It should be noted that this trucking company was created on a whim 3 days before the first load was shipped (10 days ago) Furthermore, we are currently running rental trucks. Through the wise use of spending aka "good debt", it was started with almost zero funding except for a few guys' final paychecks. By spending money in a way that makes a return on investment, the company turned a profit on its first delivery (approximately 3 grand by day 3 - which more than covered all the expenses of start up)

    Also of note, hallucinations are a very real part of this business. Truckers who exceed their limits in terms of drive time often have such experience. My co-pilot experienced the phenomena 2 days ago.
    Be safe out there.
  5. #5
    benny vader YELLOW GHOST
    did you and your co pilot ever have butt secks in the truck ???
  6. #6
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Ketonaut Star date
    07.30.2018

    Having just quit my job as a bus driver, I found myself sleeping in my uber car when I got a call:

    A bunch of shady cops I know started a fly by night trucking company and quit their jobs - and they asked if I'd drive with them… that was 7 days ago.

    As a homeless uber driver, I genuinely wanted to try living in a truck for a while instead of my car. So, the adventure began.

    We'll start with a re-cap.
    Day 1.

    I'd never driven a Manuel transmission or a 26 foot flat bed truck so my buddy coached me through my first day with a fully loaded truck. (26 foot flat bed does not require a commercial drivers licence)
    For the reccord, it was his first time driving a vehicle this size too

    Day 3.
    I had to use anti-psychotics to counter the delerium induced by sleep deprivation (I carry anti-psychotics in my wallet at all times for such occasions. They can also be used to block the effects of psychedelics if someone has a bad trip. But that's a story for another day…)

    In the last 7 days, our 2 man crew has driven through montana, utah, arizona, Nevada & idaho delivering loads.

    Day 7. (Today)
    We are currently on the road to Colorado with a fresh batch of hot tubs.


    These logs will continue and include periodic updates.

    If anyone has any questions - no matter how ridiculous- feel free to post and I'll respond.

    if it has air brakes it does
  7. #7
    Cootehill African Astronaut [my unsymmetrically blurry oregano]
    Truckers are all on meth, right?
  8. #8
    EllariaSand African Astronaut
    Captains “logs” for the week

  9. #9
    Ketonaut Yung Blood
    Originally posted by benny vader did you and your co pilot ever have butt secks in the truck ???

    No but the company owner did wake me up early this morning for a meeting. With a very serious look he asked me if I had been beating off in front of the woman who let us crash at her house for the night.
    She claimed that she and her friend on face time had witnessed me in the act and I yelled at her.
    I explained that all I was doing was adjusting myself while sleeping. The owner proceeded to watch me sleep for a while and confirmed that I do periodically adjust myself in my sleep ... and tend to yell in my sleep if I'm startled/ having a nightmare.

    He told me later today that if I had actually been masturbating in other people's houses, they still would not have fired me.
  10. #10
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Ketonaut No but the company owner did wake me up early this morning for a meeting. With a very serious look he asked me if I had been beating off in front of the woman who let us crash at her house for the night.
    She claimed that she and her friend on face time had witnessed me in the act and I yelled at her.
    I explained that all I was doing was adjusting myself while sleeping. The owner proceeded to watch me sleep for a while and confirmed that I do periodically adjust myself in my sleep … and tend to yell in my sleep if I'm startled/ having a nightmare.

    He told me later today that if I had actually been masturbating in other people's houses, they still would not have fired me.

    there ya go...start wackin' it in other peoples houses so he can watch.
  11. #11
    Ketonaut Yung Blood
    Originally posted by Cootehill Truckers are all on meth, right?

    Negative. Most of the truckers I've seen are just regular guys of every color and creed who work long hours.
  12. #12
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Ketonaut Negative. Most of the truckers I've seen are just regular guys of every color and creed who work long hours.

    bullshit. every trucker i knew well enough was on some sort of stimulant.
  13. #13
    Ketonaut Yung Blood
    Originally posted by infinityshock bullshit. every trucker i knew well enough was on some sort of stimulant.

    We cetainly use lots of caffeine but I suppose I could set up a small laboratory in the cab to manufacture drugs... But, I'm still getting my life back on track from the last time feds shut me down.

    -----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK----- lol jk
  14. #14
    Ketonaut Yung Blood
    Captain's log, supplimental:

    One of the straps came loose on our rig and we nearly lost the cargo on the highway. Caught it just in time.

    Next time you see a big rig, ask yourself, "what are the chances that guy has no idea what the fuck he is doing?"

    The probability is not zero
  15. #15
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Ketonaut Captain's log, supplimental:

    One of the straps came loose on our rig and we nearly lost the cargo on the highway in colorado. Caught it just in time.

    Next time you see a big rig, ask yourself, "what are the chances that guy has no idea what the fuck he is doing?"

    The probability is not zero

    if a single strap loose is all it takes to destabilize your load...youre doing something wrong. *cough* national airlines flight 102 *cough*

    the first big rig i ever drove was stolen...and i had no idea how to drive it. i drove it the whole time in the wrong gear...and im fairly sure there were fewer gears in the transmission when we left it than when i started it. (note to any overzealous prosecutor: i cant be prosecuted in civilian court as it was on a military base and under orders and the statute of limitations expired before you were born. merry go fuck yourself)
  16. #16
    Cootehill African Astronaut [my unsymmetrically blurry oregano]
    Yeah you want to use a great many more straps than are needed. The government can and will put you off the road, even in America.
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