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I just burnt the fuck out of my leg with a fucking pasty ffs

  1. #1
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    was just in town and went to buy a coke coz i was thirsty. anyway they were selling pasties and shit which looked pretty nice. they had it were they were all out in a hot cabinet and you put one into a paper bag and go pay for it. so i put one in a bag, went round the shelf and slipped it in my waistband coz its hot and all i was wearing was jeans and a tee, so nowhere else to conceal it. so i goes picks up a coke and went to pay for the coke but this pasty is starting to feel a bit too hot around my belt. so i was using my hand to try and hold it away from my skin a bit so it wouldn't get so hot while i waited to pay. next thing i know my finger went straight through the paper bag and the pasty and its all falling apart and starting to burn my nuts. so i ducked back round the shelf putting the coke down on the side to go sort it out where they wouldn't see that i'd just tried to steal one of their pasties. and its all starting to fall down my leg now. and the filling is hot as fuck. so i try to let it all fall down the leg of my jeans but these tight jeans these days, it got half way down my calf and all got stuck there. and now its burning my leg to fuck so i've just squished it down and out the bottom of my jeans and just left it on the floor. hopefully they'll think somebody just dropped a pasty on the floor and it got trod on or summing. anyway so now i thought i'll just buy this coke and get the fuck out. but as i'm going back to where the coke was i'm thinking where did i put that £10 note, and i'm checking all my pockets just as i hear a guy at the cashier saing 'somebody just left this bottle of coke and ten pound note on the side', so i quickly called it as mine, paid for the coke and got the fuck out. i had to go and get some envelopes and copier paper so i was rushing to get them so i could get home to check my leg coz it was burning like fuck now. anyway i got home, ripped my clothes off and got in the shower. there is a huge blister bigger than a tennis ball on my calf and its sore as hell now.

    moral of the story is don't go putting hot pasties in your waistband to chore them kids.

    i've got hot pasties like that tons of times and never had anything like that happen tho. that was one seriously fucking hot pasty man.

    i'll take some pics, you guys gotta see this.



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    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    Rock_N_Rollover African Astronaut [my obsessively old-time raunch]
    How the fuck do you write so much shit?
  3. #3
    joerell African Astronaut [twine our circinate supersymmetry]
    Originally posted by Rock_N_Rollover How the fuck do you write so much shit?

    Lol.
  4. #4
    Red_Woman African Astronaut
    You're a crazy dork, Narc.
  5. #5
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    Instant karma hahahah. Lets see the burn!!😃
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. #6
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    cor have a look, its sore as fuck now.






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  7. #7
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by tee hee hee Instant karma hahahah. Lets see the burn!!😃

    lol i know



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  8. #8
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    #howaniggalive



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  9. #9
    Can't get pasties for love nor money in Tejas either.
  10. #10
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by NARCassist was just in town and went to buy a coke coz i was thirsty. anyway they were selling pasties and shit which looked pretty nice. they had it were they were all out in a hot cabinet and you put one into a paper bag and go pay for it. so i put one in a bag, went round the shelf and slipped it in my waistband coz its hot and all i was wearing was jeans and a tee, so nowhere else to conceal it. so i goes picks up a coke and went to pay for the coke but this pasty is starting to feel a bit too hot around my belt. so i was using my hand to try and hold it away from my skin a bit so it wouldn't get so hot while i waited to pay. next thing i know my finger went straight through the paper bag and the pasty and its all falling apart and starting to burn my nuts. so i ducked back round the shelf putting the coke down on the side to go sort it out where they wouldn't see that i'd just tried to steal one of their pasties. and its all starting to fall down my leg now. and the filling is hot as fuck. so i try to let it all fall down the leg of my jeans but these tight jeans these days, it got half way down my calf and all got stuck there. and now its burning my leg to fuck so i've just squished it down and out the bottom of my jeans and just left it on the floor. hopefully they'll think somebody just dropped a pasty on the floor and it got trod on or summing. anyway so now i thought i'll just buy this coke and get the fuck out. but as i'm going back to where the coke was i'm thinking where did i put that £10 note, and i'm checking all my pockets just as i hear a guy at the cashier saing 'somebody just left this bottle of coke and ten pound note on the side', so i quickly called it as mine, paid for the coke and got the fuck out. i had to go and get some envelopes and copier paper so i was rushing to get them so i could get home to check my leg coz it was burning like fuck now. anyway i got home, ripped my clothes off and got in the shower. there is a huge blister bigger than a tennis ball on my calf and its sore as hell now.

    moral of the story is don't go putting hot pasties in your waistband to chore them kids.

    i've got hot pasties like that tons of times and never had anything like that happen tho. that was one seriously fucking hot pasty man.

    i'll take some pics, you guys gotta see this.



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    dude you're a pussy no one cares about your small burns, and slight cuts, post pix of the pasty burn you patsy
  11. #11
    Red_Woman African Astronaut
    Shit! And you still didn't get to eat it. lol
  12. #12
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Can't get pasties for love nor money in Tejas either.

    Stop whining. You're going back home soooooon!
  13. #13
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby dude you're a pussy no one cares about your small burns, and slight cuts, post pix of the pasty burn you patsy

    shut the fuck up ya nonce



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  14. #14
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by tee hee hee Instant karma hahahah. Lets see the burn!!😃

    tell you what, i'll take a scolded leg over sitting in a jail cell anyday tho.



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  15. #15
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by NARCassist cor have a look, its sore as fuck now.






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    uh gross man hope you feel better I once got my asshole burned out by falling thru a glass table butt naked while drunk at this girls place, got 16 stitches





    she was pretty pissed about her glass dragon coffee table

    heehhehehehehehe
  16. #16
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    Ehh doesn't look too bad. We have this saying in Poland that goes like this: do wesela sie zagoi.
  17. #17
    Originally posted by tee hee hee Stop whining. You're going back home soooooon!

    I don't eat carbs anymore so my going home will not satiate the pastiness.
  18. #18
    Red_Woman African Astronaut
    Nice ass, Bill Krozby.
  19. #19
    Originally posted by tee hee hee Ehh doesn't look too bad. We have this saying in Poland that goes like this: do wesela sie zagoi.

    Translation: Bitches be hairy in polandia
  20. #20
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Red_Woman Nice ass, Bill Krozby.

    thanks fake doll

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