Share drunk stories

1. 2018-07-15 at 2:48 AM UTC

   #41
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by S6x cool story. sounds fake as fuck.. too many holes

   
   You sound fake as fuck and full of gay holes
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • lantiqua87
2. 2018-07-15 at 2:50 AM UTC

   #42
   

   S6x African Astronaut

   Originally posted by yum You sound fake as fuck and full of gay holes

   
   Oh. That's real mature. that's all we need around here, another Xfinity
3. 2018-07-15 at 7:45 PM UTC

   #43
   jedi_darryl African Astronaut
   On my 17th birthday I got seriously hammered. I drank way too much. I don't remember anything. All I realized was a big cock drawing upon my face when I faced the mirror and the mirror said happy 17th born date dickhead!
   
   My friend said I could've been dead that night. He told me I stopped in the middle of the street doing push-ups whilst a bus was coming. He said that I said I bet him 30 something dollars that I could make an impression on a girl who was checking me out. I didn't, it freaked her out actually. Still was an impression, I want bday money bitch. I won the bet. Still from this day I ask him where's my money?! We both laugh uncontrollably. Ah, good times.
4. 2018-07-15 at 8:17 PM UTC

   #44
   

   S6x African Astronaut

   Originally posted by jedi_darryl On my 17th birthday I got seriously hammered. I drank way too much. I don't remember anything. All I realized was a big cock drawing upon my face when I faced the mirror and the mirror said happy 17th born date dickhead!
   
   My friend said I could've been dead that night. He told me I stopped in the middle of the street doing push-ups whilst a bus was coming. He said that I said I bet him 30 something dollars that I could make an impression on a girl who was checking me out. I didn't, it freaked her out actually. Still was an impression, I want bday money bitch. I won the bet. Still from this day I ask him where's my money?! We both laugh uncontrollably. Ah, good times.

   
   Was the dick marked in Sharpie or water color. cause it's not an official gift unless it's in sharpie.
   
   Also, next time you ask him.. spend the entire day like the paperboy from "Better off dead" just following him and in a elongated soft voice "30 dollars. where is my 30 dollars". mean business this time. crack something over his kneecap to get the fun started.
5. 2018-07-15 at 10:53 PM UTC

   #45
   

   Rock_N_Rollover African Astronaut [my obsessively old-time raunch]
   One of the dangerous things was riding on an old mattress we found on a dirt road. We tied it with a rope and pulled it with his Datsun pickup truck.
   
   There were three of us. One driving and two riding.
   
   We got it on the highway and the springs were shooting sparks.
   
   The scary part was when the asshole starting going off the side of the road, back and forth, and the mattress tilted but never flipped.
   
   Not sure how fast we got. Maybe 45mph.
6. 2018-07-15 at 11:48 PM UTC

   #46
   

   S6x African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Rock_N_Rollover One of the dangerous things was riding on an old mattress we found on a dirt road. We tied it with a rope and pulled it with his Datsun pickup truck.
   
   There were three of us. One driving and two riding.
   
   We got it on the highway and the springs were shooting sparks.
   
   The scary part was when the asshole starting going off the side of the road, back and forth, and the mattress tilted but never flipped.
   
   Not sure how fast we got. Maybe 45mph.

   
   Sounds like fun. too bad it didn't flip. nothing like some road rash to show your battle scars of the day. looking like Jimmy Dean sausages.
7. 2018-07-15 at 11:52 PM UTC

   #47
   jedi_darryl African Astronaut

   Originally posted by S6x Was the dick marked in Sharpie or water color. cause it's not an official gift unless it's in sharpie.
   
   Also, next time you ask him.. spend the entire day like the paperboy from "Better off dead" just following him and in a elongated soft voice "30 dollars. where is my 30 dollars". mean business this time. crack something over his kneecap to get the fun started.

   
   It was in crayon. I was the finest mona lisa portrait. I would've been worth millions. Millions, I tell ya, millions!
8. 2018-07-15 at 11:57 PM UTC

   #48
   

   S6x African Astronaut

   Originally posted by jedi_darryl It was in crayon. I was the finest mona lisa portrait. I would've been worth millions. Millions, I tell ya, millions!

   
   He used crayon on a black man. that sounds racist. cause he refused to use a silver one on your face, instead!
9. 2018-07-16 at 12:03 AM UTC

   #49
   jedi_darryl African Astronaut
   I'm trying really hard to get your obnoxious humor my good man. So, I'm gonna be a nice guy and type haha. Good one, dood.
10. 2018-07-16 at 12:08 AM UTC

    #50
    

    S6x African Astronaut

    Originally posted by jedi_darryl I'm trying really hard to get your obnoxious humor my good man. So, I'm gonna be a nice guy and type haha. Good one, dood.

    
    I don't give a fuck what you do, Darryl or Darrell. You brought it to the table. you can't enhancement through what you like
11. 2018-07-16 at 1:26 AM UTC

    #51
    larrylegend8383 Naturally Camouflaged
    I really need tacos my niggas
12. 2018-07-16 at 1:41 AM UTC

    #52
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut

    Originally posted by S6x I don't give a fuck what you do, Darryl or Darrell. You brought it to the table. you can't enhancement through what you like

    
    Yes. Actually I can. And you spelled my name wrong 8,000 times now. My name starts with a S. Short, for squirrel.
13. 2018-07-16 at 2:50 AM UTC

    #53
    🐿 African Astronaut
    Darrel quit it.
14. 2018-07-16 at 3:12 AM UTC

    #54
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    Alright, so she basically ruined my entire identity. Gee, thanks a lot, chip.
15. 2018-07-16 at 3:17 AM UTC

    #55
    

    S6x African Astronaut
    it was exposed once you came on.
16. 2018-07-16 at 3:18 AM UTC

    #56
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    I guess that makes me a forum fan favorite?
17. 2018-07-16 at 3:22 AM UTC

    #57
    

    S6x African Astronaut

    Originally posted by jedi_darryl I guess that makes me a forum fan favorite?

    
    not unless you grow some awesome tits and post them
18. 2018-07-16 at 3:28 AM UTC

    #58
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    I won't grow them because I don't have areolas.
19. 2018-07-16 at 3:34 AM UTC

    #59
    

    S6x African Astronaut
    tape a few of these on over your nipples.. no one will know the dif
    
    
20. 2018-07-16 at 3:40 AM UTC

    #60
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    I would,, I'll always lick the cream off it first. Then maybe nibble a few pieces off that cookie. Man, that's one crooked pair of areolas, I tell ya that much.
    
    
    To really think about it, with so much ohrangutangs hanging around, I think they'll give me an exception.