People are always asking me, "got a girlfriend yet?"

1. 2018-03-05 at 10:25 AM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Oh get a girlfriend? Just get a girlfriend? Why don’t I strap on my girlfriend helmet and squeeze down into a girlfriend cannon and fire off into girlfriend land where girlfriends grow on girlfriendees?!!
2. 2018-03-05 at 1:10 PM UTC

   #2
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
   Poor sad little Elliot
3. 2018-03-05 at 1:19 PM UTC

   #3
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   When people ask me this, even if I have a girlfriend I lie and say no. That way they don’t think I’m a pussy who let himself get tied up in a monogamous relationship. Also so women don’t find out I’m not single in case I wanna double dip
   
   You see, I care deeply about what people think of me so I put a lot of effort into my image
4. 2018-03-05 at 3:48 PM UTC

   #4
   

   infinityshock Black Hole

   Originally posted by Enter Oh get a girlfriend? Just get a girlfriend? Why don’t I strap on my girlfriend helmet and squeeze down into a girlfriend cannon and fire off into girlfriend land where girlfriends grow on girlfriendees?!!

   
   just get some duct tape and a white van...abduct some chick you see that gets your loins all warm and tingly...and keep her tied up in your basement
5. 2018-03-05 at 4:17 PM UTC

   #5
   

   benny vader YELLOW GHOST
   ''have girlfriend yet ???''
   
   ''yea ... we've been dating for over 10years but our parents won't let us get married.''
   
   ''oh ... thats soooo terrible. did they at least say why ???''
   
   '' IDK, our parents are just old fashioned i guess.''
   
   -beat-
   
   ''their still stuck in their weltanschauung of the 1960s. they told us that it is WRONG for siblings to marry each other and their never going to allow it.''
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • The Self Taught Man
6. 2018-03-05 at 5:23 PM UTC

   #6
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Got a girlfriend yet?
7. 2018-03-05 at 7:31 PM UTC

   #7
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Me:Yea I just got your little girl pregnant
   
   Her parents: *shocked and appaled*
   
   Me: ok then... well looks like we're aborting it now too
8. 2018-03-05 at 7:33 PM UTC

   #8
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by benny vader ''have girlfriend yet ???''
   
   ''yea … we've been dating for over 10years but our parents won't let us get married.''
   
   ''oh … thats soooo terrible. did they at least say why ???''
   
   '' IDK, our parents are just old fashioned i guess.''
   
   -beat-
   
   ''their still stuck in their weltanschauung of the 1960s. they told us that it is WRONG for siblings to marry each other and their never going to allow it.''

   
   At least your last names are already the same so you can still tell everyone you're married
9. 2018-03-06 at 12:13 AM UTC

   #9
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   OP, out of curiosity, have you ever had a sustained positive relationship with any woman in your life? Mother, sister, etc?
   
   I have a theory that inceldom is primarily caused not by autism or bad aesthetics, but by a synergy of at least one of those things with an underdeveloped ability to see women as people with whom one can empathize.
10. 2018-03-06 at 12:20 AM UTC

    #10
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by inb4l0pht OP, out of curiosity, have you ever had a sustained positive relationship with any woman in your life? Mother, sister, etc?
    
    I have a theory that inceldom is primarily caused not by autism or bad aesthetics, but by a synergy of at least one of those things with an underdeveloped ability to see women as people with whom one can empathize.

    
    yeah i'm not close with my mother at all
11. 2018-03-06 at 9:13 PM UTC

    #11
    

    benny vader YELLOW GHOST

    Originally posted by Juicebox At least your last names are already the same so you can still tell everyone you're married

    
    o ... no.
    
    chineses dont do that.
    
    we have surnames in place where your first name should be and we keep that unchanged irregardless of gender or marital status.
12. 2018-03-06 at 9:16 PM UTC

    #12
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]

    Originally posted by Enter yeah i'm not close with my mother at all

    
    I know she comes in your room without knocking a lot, but have you ever had a real heart-to-heart?
13. 2018-03-06 at 9:22 PM UTC

    #13
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    What's your Mom's life like. Before you attempt to patholigise your own life, maybe pathologise hers'.
14. 2018-03-06 at 9:24 PM UTC

    #14
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    ^ A good point. You need to know how much of this is her responsibility, and then you can more accurately determine how to undo it.