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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition

  1. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    can of tuna = cat friend for life
  2. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    Have you dealt with cats before, malice? I don't want to seem like I am being condescending, but I am just going to proceed as if you don't know anything about cats, that way I don't have to wait for a response and I can just get my advice out there on paper and be done with it.

    Here is what I do to attract strange cats: First, smell like tuna/have tuna in the vicinity (If you are going to feed it tuna, take it out of the can and put it in a bowl so it doesn't hurt its palate on any burrs or edges in the aluminum from opening the can...also rinse the can out well, maybe even with soapy water, to keep other cats at the city dump from licking out of the can and cutting their faces). Then: make yourself appear smaller, but not in a 'crouching to pounce' type of way, more of a relaxed 'look I am not looming over you' type of way. Next: extend your tuna-soaked hand out towards the cat, in a fist but with thumb and forefinger extended in a pincher motion. Talk to the cat in a high pitched voice, saying 'here kitty kitty' or something else with an -ee sound on the end, while moving your extended fingers in an enticing fashion. Then, once the cat comes within arms reach, snatch it in one smooth yet firm motion by the scruff of its neck (roughly the top of the shoulder area) and....oh wait we are trying to make friends here. I guess if you can get it to come to you, then that is good enough.
  3. Dissociator African Astronaut
    discovered perfect way to ingest Crouton:
    keurig machine, reusable k cup
    put Crouton in reusable k cup
    tea with no disgusting Crouton dirt in it
  4. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    speaking of Crouton, I am almost out of poppy seeds so I am going to mix the last lb. I have with 5 grams of red maeng da and an etizolam...well not 'I am going to', more like 'I just did'.

    already starting to feel it

    I love drugs
  5. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    I have literally nothing to do this evening so I guess I am going to bid 1$ over the other contestants' shitposts
  6. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    ok last post for while

    it seems like the Crouton has totally overpowered the opium

    fucking gay
  7. You want the pods nigga.
  8. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Have you dealt with cats before, malice? I don't want to seem like I am being condescending, but I am just going to proceed as if you don't know anything about cats, that way I don't have to wait for a response and I can just get my advice out there on paper and be done with it.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_knowledge

    It's really incredible and terrible how small minded and unknowledgeable the vast majority of people are. Decades and such important concepts, thoughts, seem to have never crossed their mind once. There are so many problems with life and other people...

    Just a larger train of thought related to this. You don't know what others do or don't know, and it's good to be as detailed and clear as possible, particularly the less room for/more costly errors can be. I don't assume others are assuming I'm ignorant or being condescending, although with how readily most seem to make assumptions it only primes people even more toward being defensive about this.

    As for poppies, I found 2 grams of mediocre quality #3 Afghan for only $80 from Italy on Abraxas. FE doesn't seem to be required and the vendor seems to have a long history, many sales, and a good reputation. May give this a try, wouldn't be much of a loss, and think of how your eyes would light up if it made it through and you managed to get such an amazing deal. It would be a lot cheaper than poppy tea, given the relative potency and doses, tolerance an addiction aside, although that's an issue with poppy tea as well anyway.

    Oh and whileIm at it, youre right about everything, go ahead and get the "I-told-you-so" confetti out. My life is so incredibly fucked atm.

    I don't have any desire to, I didn't want to be right, for things to turn out this way, it doesn't bring me any joy. I often desperately wish people would prove me wrong, that everything wasn't so predictable, that the world didn't make so much sense, but the world is the way it is, entirely inadequate.
  9. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    I have literally nothing to do this evening so I guess I am going to bid 1$ over the other contestants' shitposts

    Feeling bored? Post, you motherfuckers, and keep me company. I'll read and understand every word of your posts, see your worldview and sometimes understand you better than you understand yourself, offer you hermit sage advice.
  10. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    You want the pods nigga.



    Yeah, I probably do, but they are expensive, I should keep my opiate habit at less than 20 bucks a day, I have an informal budget for each drug. etizolam, weed, phenibut, Seeds cost me around 12 bucks a day if I buy the cheaper ones, and the high is better than any pill I have ever had, and I've tried them all. I can't remember exactly how much the pods were that I was looking at, because the link is on the favorites at this girl's house I stay at sometimes. But I do remember thinking 'holy fuck' when I saw how much they were, at the cheapest place I was looking at they were way, way too much. Also sort of hard to find. I did find like three places, though. I should get some pods just as a luxury purchase, and I bet they are great, but I am sort of a cheap fucker and it will hurt my feelings to spend so much to get high. I literally get emotionally and physically ill when I run low on money or spend too much....Like anyone who knows me can tell when I am pissed about money because I get like a thousand-yard stare

    But conversely, I lack ambition to the point where I make just enough money to pay my bills and feed the household and get drugs, and then I stop and just fuck around and live my life. I am not one of those people who hustles every minute of the day to make a buck, it's only when I start to run low on funds that I become driven to acquire funds. I have turned down some opportunities and even just not shown up for jobs because my needs were already met.

    Now that's not to say that I lack initiative, I will go over and above the call of duty to get what I want, and I am not against making lots of money if I don't have to put much effort into it.....just for one small example...remember when headshops sold bath salts? Well sometimes they would close down, and also there was a time when they were not allowed to sell certain kinds anymore so they stopped stocking them. Every time a headshop stopped selling the stuff, I was there hanging out around the parking lot, with a pocketful of research chemical samples stapled to a business card with a burner phone number on it. I would just cold approach people, who I knew where there for bath salt (the parking lots of these headshops looked like the clientele of a methadone clinic, except more slanted towards biker types), give them a sample, and tell them that if they liked it, I could get lots more. The chemicals I was passing out were the newer generation that weren't covered by the ban, and I got the best ones and people loved them. I made SO much fucking money with very little effort, one guy who loved the sample just happened to own a tattoo parlor and it was on like donkey kong.

    I just typed this so malice has something to psychoanalyze while I go walk my stupid other dog, the one that survived
  11. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Imagine selling your body to a rich person in exchange for having your head cryogenically frozen. Basically you'd be payed to have everything perfectly set up, yourself euthanized properly right there, whatever the best method would be to transition from being alive in the hospital to your head severed and body ready to be transplanted, then the procedure would be done on your head, which is kept cool to prevent/reduce damage done to the brain. Only problem is that, IIRC, they replace the blood with a cryoprotectant solution and I'm not sure if this could be done properly with the head already severed. I mean, even if there is a good work around, it isn't standard procedure and may not be readily available, they may not have the equipment needed on hand. Although plastination may eventually become a superior alternative that could supplant it, but it seems they would still need to perform a perfusion procedure: https://www.fightaging.org/archives/2012/09/a-couple-of-articles-on-plastination.php

    Then again, you're still faced with the question of the nature of consciousness, the problem of continuity. During the period you cease to be conscious, to exist, are you afraid or suffering? What difference would it really make if you were never revived? In the same line of thought, what would there really be to fear if you never woke up the next time you fell asleep? People will generally bring up fears about how it would hurt others, people that depend on them, things they still want to do/experience, but it doesn't really answer the question.
  12. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    It's really incredible and terrible how small minded and unknowledgeable the vast majority of people are. Decades and such important concepts, thoughts, seem to have never crossed their mind once. There are so many problems with life and other people.

    But there are a lot of good things in people, too, and it's pretty much that you can't have one without the other, like, a relationship with a person is just a balance of the good and bad things about them and you, and also, without the bad qualities, the good qualities woudn't mean so much, and vice versa. Like, people I know are starting to die, my sister, my dog who was pretty much my best friend, my grandma is probably going to die in a few days, and it hurts, it hurts real bad, I even had to help carry my sisters casket and dig a grave for my 90lb. dog, but those bad times are part of the deal of having relationships, and in return I got to spend a lifetime (well their lifetime) of mostly good times that I wouldn't trade for the world.

    Also, about the condescending thing, I was just trying to be respectful, mainly because I do respect you malice, and also partly because ever since I have started taking etizolam, I've lost my edge and am much less prone to anger, both in real life, and when I sit behind the keyboard.
  13. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    Also, just for the record, I may have been a thief when the situation warranted, which was very, very, very often, but I never stole off of friends, acquaintances, or family,

    and I never misrepresented drugs as something they weren't, I don't talk to cops for any reason, and I pretty much have the personality of a tree stump in real life, I don't come across as the friendly type. I am sufficiently adept at small talk, but I am mostly known for awkward silence. I overcompensate at the keyboard, only because I type fast and because I am on drugs 90% of the time that I am here..
  14. Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Daily news you can use.

    http://nypost.com/2015/09/19/how-ahm...ale-of-racism/



    Fucking leftists, this actually sounded like a reasonable accusation of racism or at least paranoia gone overboard, but that actually does look suspicious as fuck. And he didn't even build it, at least not in the way that most would assume, in line with the impression that the media gave, he just took out the parts and used the suitcase as the new housing. "What are the odds it was actually a bomb?" Pretty low, but things are the way they are and this seems perfectly in line with expected responses. And as they detailed, there have been many other cases where students have faced similar situations for ridiculous reasons, and there were no accusations of racism. And race/ethnicity should be relevant factor, the reality is that terrorists, on a per capita basis, are disproportionately likely to be Muslims "How many incidences of teenagers/children committing terrorism have there been in first world countries?" I don't know, very little, most likely, possibly none in the US, but that still doesn't change the reality of odds ratios and rational behind profiling. Don't misunderstand, I certainly don't support the changes that have occurred since Columbine and 9/11, I just don't think the leftist narrative of (unwarranted) racial bias stands up to scrutiny in general, or at the very least that the properly calculated effect size is far far smaller than they would like to believe.

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0916162912.htm
    New research on attractiveness and mating
    What people find 'desirable' and 'essential' in a long-term partner



    Men care more about looks, women care a helluva lot more about money.



    Wealthier men care even more about/are more selective for looks, wealthier women care even more about money. Take the Red Pill and accept the truth.

    What kind of fucking idiot terrorist would make a bomb with a such a huge ass timer display. What, cooking timers were sold out? Jesus Christ the masses are stupid. WHAT'S MORE!!! Can't have a bomb without explosives, i see a lot of electronics and wiring, where are the fucking explosives idiots?

    As resident terrorist, criminal mastermind crazy scientist bomb maker i do not endorse these shenanigans. Here's an actual improvised digital detonator that i made.



    No it's not a clock faggots, you plug in a wire in a port to the side, set the timer, flip the switch and GTFO. And this is BIG mind you, even though it fits in the palm of your hand i could make this the size of a ciggarette box. Point being, no bomb maker worth his salt is going to be making such a gigantic timer circuit.

    For your pleasure have some more pics.

    ANNM + APAN Booster, TATP Cap



  15. Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Have you dealt with cats before, malice? I don't want to seem like I am being condescending, but I am just going to proceed as if you don't know anything about cats, that way I don't have to wait for a response and I can just get my advice out there on paper and be done with it.

    Here is what I do to attract strange cats: First, smell like tuna/have tuna in the vicinity (If you are going to feed it tuna, take it out of the can and put it in a bowl so it doesn't hurt its palate on any burrs or edges in the aluminum from opening the can…also rinse the can out well, maybe even with soapy water, to keep other cats at the city dump from licking out of the can and cutting their faces). Then: make yourself appear smaller, but not in a 'crouching to pounce' type of way, more of a relaxed 'look I am not looming over you' type of way. Next: extend your tuna-soaked hand out towards the cat, in a fist but with thumb and forefinger extended in a pincher motion. Talk to the cat in a high pitched voice, saying 'here kitty kitty' or something else with an -ee sound on the end, while moving your extended fingers in an enticing fashion. Then, once the cat comes within arms reach, snatch it in one smooth yet firm motion by the scruff of its neck (roughly the top of the shoulder area) and….oh wait we are trying to make friends here. I guess if you can get it to come to you, then that is good enough.

    Crazy Mike knows his cats. I love cats too as it so happens and i it's good advice.
  16. Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Feeling bored? Post, you motherfuckers, and keep me company. I'll read and understand every word of your posts, see your worldview and sometimes understand you better than you understand yourself, offer you hermit sage advice.

    Tell me something about myself i don't know Malice i love being analyzed. You can even make me a questoniare and i'll fill it out all neatly for you, i'll promise not to lie.
  17. Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    I'm bored as fuck and posting Malice where the fuck you at.
  18. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    This one winter when I worked at a factory I worked the midnight shift, and it was over an hour commute so I had to leave for work at 9:30 pm to be there by 11:00 for the start of the shift, and it was dark by then outside and I went out to start my car and I see a nice orange tabby, trotting up to me in the circle of the garage floodlight, making that chirping 'mew' sound that they do. I smiled and said 'Hey cat' and bent down to pet its ears, and noticed that its tail was stripped off at just above the base, the fur and flesh completely gone, leaving behind nothing but a bloody exposed tailbone. I imagine that a dog almost got ahold of it, but who really knows?
  19. arthur treacher African Astronaut
    Also, malice, for my psychoanalysis, I want to note that I am extremely manipulative, but underneath it all, the real me, is just really boring and I often feel like I have nothing to say to anyone, so I either keep silent or talk shit, and talking shit has gotten me into lots of trouble in real life. So nowadays I just keep my mouth shut mostly..
  20. Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    This one winter when I worked at a factory I worked the midnight shift, and it was over an hour commute so I had to leave for work at 9:30 pm to be there by 11:00 for the start of the shift, and it was dark by then outside and I went out to start my car and I see a nice orange tabby, trotting up to me in the circle of the garage floodlight, making that chirping 'mew' sound that they do. I smiled and said 'Hey cat' and bent down to pet its ears, and noticed that its tail was stripped off at just above the base, the fur and flesh completely gone, leaving behind nothing but a bloody exposed tailbone. I imagine that a dog almost got ahold of it, but who really knows?

    That's so sad. Poor cat, if i saw that happen i would violently murder the dog responsible and if it's a big bad dog i'd shoot it in the spine so it couldn't run then proceed to murder it violently with a long implement.

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