User Controls

Too poor to join the global elites

  1. #1
    I have been trying to get into the Order Of The Iron Sun for 6 months now. For all of you who don't know, all the conspiracies attributed to the jedis, illuminati, Freemasons etc? Yeah that's actually these guys.

    It all started when my buddy at the country club and I started taking politics over golf. It went in the same direction it usually does: "people are stupid mmhmm if I was in charge mmhmm the jedi question mmhmm nuke the Vatican mmhmm"

    Then one evening, on my way back to my Land Cruiser, I got ambushed and kidnapped. I didn't see it coming: bag over my head, and the rest went by in a flash. I thought for sure that the jedis finally got me, it was curtains for Captain Morgan, but turns out it was just an invitation to apply for the Knights of the Eight Covenant of Wallachia, the particular chapter of the OTIS that controls the media in my neck of the woods.

    Long story short, I finally had my interview with Rupert Murdoch today. He looked at all my references, all my accomplishments and distinctions and smurfing me a bunch of questions, it was growing well, until he reached my bank statement.

    He started howling, pressed the buzzer on his desk and said "Cindy, could you please tell Soros to come in here? Do it quick or I'll ruin your life." Cindy hustled, and Soros shuffled in. Now Murdoch shows him my balance sheet and this guy just starts squealing with laughter too.

    "50 million?!?! HAHAHA what do you want to be, our janitor? Make a billy and apply again, then we'll talk. Ahhhh, they was great, I needed that laugh."

    I walked past the Bugattis and Lamborghinis in shame to my humble Land Cruiser. I guess I will never get to participate in the globalist conspiracy.

    #ForeverAPawn
  2. #2
    HTS highlight reel
    Join your local elites, become a state elite, then a federal elite and maybe one day you can be a global elite too. :o
  3. #3
    D4NG0 motherfucker
    Didn't read.
  4. #4
    Originally posted by Captain Falcon the Order Of The Iron Sun

    Genuinely never heard of it.

    Lame attempt at trolling, you stupid worthless handsome and well tanned individual.
  5. #5
    Daily an(nu)ally [dissolutely whisk the pantheon]
    Originally posted by Captain Falcon Too brown to join the global elites

    Fixed that for u babe

    Are u comeng home for dinner
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. #6
    Originally posted by Daily Fixed that for u babe

    Are u comeng home for dinner

    Don't invite him home honey. Filthy Pakistanis carry diseases.

    It's seafood and cryptocurrency tips for dinner. Todays is us debating the merits of QTUM vs ADA/Cardano.
  7. #7
    Originally posted by Issue313 Genuinely never heard of it.

    Of course. What kind of secret society would let itself be known to plebs like you?
  8. #8
    Originally posted by Captain Falcon Of course. What kind of secret society would let itself be known to plebs like you?

    Genuinely laughed at this. Take note. Highlight of your life, handsome and well tanned individual.
  9. #9
    Originally posted by Issue313 Genuinely laughed at this. Take note. Highlight of your life, handsome and well tanned individual.

    I won't take note, vecause you are an insect: stop impersonating better users than yourself.
  10. #10
    OMG Falcon PMed me and tried to insinuate that he was a member of the order of the OMFG "Iron" Sun.

    It's some weird drunken handsome and well tanned individual confabulation of the Black Sun and Iron Cross. Yet I still feel like I need to take a shower after being anointed with the "Iron Sun".

    I genuinely feel like a Pakistani has just cum all over me. I can smell it. Eww.
  11. #11
    Washing my eyes and my throat out with toilet bleach atm. Goddam.
  12. #12
    Originally posted by Issue313 OMG Falcon PMed me and tried to insinuate that he was a member of the order of the OMFG "Iron" Sun.

    It's some weird drunken handsome and well tanned individual confabulation of the Black Sun and Iron Cross. Yet I still feel like I need to take a shower after being anointed with the "Iron Sun".

    I genuinely feel like a Pakistani has just cum all over me. I can smell it. Eww.

    Fake news. Kill yourself, you garbage imposter.
  13. #13
    Vizier Tuskegee Airman [spic of the devil]
    The names of these cults or clubs are really pretentious sometimes. Cartels here have names like that sometimes; there's even one called Knights Templar. Imagine someone calling himself a Templar Knight slinging you crack.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  14. #14
    Lol what a fakin ass indian.

    Never showed no opulence.
  15. #15
    Skipped to the end and there wasn’t even a Bel-Air joke. Wtf dude
  16. #16
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    A little while ago i joined the Great Enlightened Society of Oculists. It's not all it's cracked up to be but i'll let you know once i rise through the ranks.
  17. #17
    I am currently trying to join the Order of the Bronze Sun, hopefully I can work my way up to Iron Sun
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. #18
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    This thread confirms that you trolled me in that other thread about your success. Well played. I done got got.

    I take solace in knowing that I am where I am and don’t have to make up stories about it, all while getting to come here and watch you make up stories, knowing you are where you are.
  19. #19
    LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery Space Nigga [my yellow-marked arboreous hypnotist]
    Originally posted by Issue313 Don't invite him home honey. Filthy Pakistanis carry diseases.

    It's seafood and cryptocurrency tips for dinner. Todays is us debating the merits of QTUM vs ADA/Cardano.

    QTUM is getting shilled on Reddit, and ADA is generally seen as not very good of a product and/or team. That's all that matters. The shilling.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  20. #20
    Originally posted by Ajax This thread confirms that you trolled me in that other thread about your success. Well played. I done got got.

    I take solace in knowing that I am where I am and don’t have to make up stories about it, all while getting to come here and watch you make up stories, knowing you are where you are.

    Of course this is a joke thread. But that doesn't mean I don't have the money I have.
Jump to Top