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Something Broke My Apple Tree

  1. #1
    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    Fuck I wanted Apples this year,Someone or something fucked up my tree.
    At first I thought it was deer but the blossoms and leaves are untouched so I think some asshole broke my tree.
    On purpose!!!!
  2. #2
    No ive seen that before I used to sell to commercial orchardists. Wind can do that.

    Just use indole enhanced bonding seal and ribbon and give it lots of prayers. Maybe it was a deer or animal lol that's weird.
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  3. #3
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by AngryOnion Fuck I wanted Apples this year,Someone or something fucked up my tree.
    At first I thought it was deer but the blossoms and leaves are untouched so I think some asshole broke my tree.
    On purpose!!!!

    do you have more pictures, in more detail, closer-in?

    are there any scratch or teeth marks? it could be anything...squirrels chewing on it...other animals fucking with it...birds trying to tear it off to make a nest out of...

    trim the broken parts off near a bud that you want to be the 'new' branch. it looks healthy enough to recover. youll have to eventually (not now...let the tree recover first) trim more branches so the whole tree doesnt wind up lopsided. you might be able to graft the piece/s you cut off into new trees.

    set a fence around it until its big enough to keep things out

    dont expect apples for at least 3 or 4 years...that thing is too small to be physically able to produce them. that would be like a ten year old getting pregnant...just because it can doesnt mean it should. they graft branches from mature trees onto root stock. the graft is actually a branch that thinks its part of a full grown tree and doesnt know its a new baby tree and shouldnt be making fruit.

    if its not a graft and just a baby from seeds...its still too small. dont let it make apples for 3 or 4 years.
  4. #4
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump No ive seen that before I used to sell to commercial orchardists. Wind can do that.

    Just use indole enhanced bonding seal and ribbon and give it lots of prayers. Maybe it was a deer or animal lol that's weird.

    stfu idiot

    wind strong enough to break a branch that small (no wind resistance vs strength) would have all that other shit in the background scattered about like a hurricane.

    bonding seal does more harm than good by trapping hazardous microorganisms and leading to infection, while preventing the trees own natural healing/sealing.
  5. #5
    Originally posted by infinityshock stfu idiot

    wind strong enough to break a branch that small (no wind resistance vs strength) would have all that other shit in the background scattered about like a hurricane.

    bonding seal does more harm than good by trapping hazardous microorganisms and leading to infection, while preventing the trees own natural healing/sealing.

    why dont you suck a dick
  6. #6
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    I had a meeting under it, at midnight. They came alone. Things got rowdy.
  7. #7
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump why dont you suck a dick

    because I'm not a fag and the fact that due to your own dick sucking fetish there aren't any dicks in this world available to be sucked that aren't already crammed into your craw.

    nigger faggot junkie
  8. #8
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    all apple products are gay, so serves you for getting apple tree. go get Linux tree or summing.
  9. #9
    Originally posted by infinityshock because I'm not a fag and the fact that due to your own dick sucking fetish there aren't any dicks in this world available to be sucked that aren't already crammed into your craw.

    nigger faggot junkie

    Yes, you are a fag. For over 5 years, that I know of, you have expressed your desire to have anal sex with other men. That is what fags do. They have anal sex with other men. Get it fag?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. #10
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by Darth Beaver Yes, you are a fag. For over 5 years, that I know of, you have expressed your desire to have anal sex with other men. That is what fags do. They have anal sex with other men. Get it fag?

    its about time somebody pointed that fact out to him
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. #11
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Darth Beaver Yes, you are a fag. For over 5 years, that I know of, you have expressed your desire to have anal sex with other men. That is what fags do. They have anal sex with other men. Get it fag?

    you're just jealous you haven't had my dick up your ass.

    yet.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #12
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by NARCassist its about time somebody pointed that fact out to him

    grab your ankles and sqqqweeeelll like a piggy. I have something to point out to you.
  13. #13
    Originally posted by infinityshock you're just jealous you haven't had my dick up your ass.

    yet.

    ^fag confirmed
  14. #14
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Darth Beaver ^fag confirmed

    it's not gay if you're bleeding out your ears and having epileptic seizures while I'm ramming your colon like a pile driver into a barrel of yoghurt
  15. #15
    Originally posted by infinityshock it's not gay if you're bleeding out your ears and having epileptic seizures while I'm ramming your colon like a pile driver into a barrel of yoghurt

    nigger
  16. #16
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Darth Beaver nigger

    stfu faggot
  17. #17
    snab_snib African Astronaut
    depending on how much of the phloem is busted maybe you can splint it like a broken leg and it'll heal up with scars at some point.
  18. #18
    hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    You wanna pluck the buds off apples, pears, peaches plums and orange trees for the first 5 years. They aren't mature enough and will end up be scrawny shitty trees that either never produce or produce tiny fucked up fruit that isn't even sweet.

    I took a botany class in college. My professor had a PhD in plant genetics. He also advised farmers, state management areas, and commercial orchards on the side.

    We had planted 2 if every tree I listen and my fucking family wouldn't take my wodr for it and rushed it and all we got were some shitty fruits the size of an acorn and 90% of the trees died.

    When a tree, especially a fruit tree like our orange trees (we had 1 struck and died by lightening, the second treewe planted in the same spot got stuck but came back to life.. Then a few months later it was stuck again and died) experiences stress such as wind that causes bad damage or lightening,they often get stunted if they don't die and rarely produce fruit or much fruit if they do make it. They just turn into a scraggly
    Bush and have sour small fruit if you're lucky.

    Apple trees and stone fruit and citrus take a long time to mature and produce like they do in orchards and REALLY they NEED you to take the flowers off before they fruit each season for 5 years or you'll have a piss poor tree. They've been selected and carefully cultivated clones (most are- itgs the only way to have a "gaurenteed" producer of whatever kind of apple/orange/stone fruit it is producing (i.e. Red delicious or granny Smith types of apples.

    Another thing is, be careful pruning because most the time they have a male branch graphed on so it will pollinate the tree and produce fruit. Without this male branch graphed, you won't have m
    Fruit and even if you have a tree that has a male branch elsewhere it likely won't produce as much as one that does have a graphting on it...so dont castrate your fruit Tree! I've seen some ignorant people do this and wonder why they never have fruit.

    I'd try and doctor up your tree but to be safe so you don't was 5 years and get nothing or something poorly producing, buy another one and baby it.. Hopefully you'll lucky and have 2 healthy producing trees soon enough..in a few years.
  19. #19
    RestStop Space Nigga
    Probably some drunk stumbled onto it and out of anger/drunkeness snapped the branches...at least that's the only possible scenario I personally see myself doing it in
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