My mom banned me for getting a front page flush

1. 2017-04-20 at 12:47 PM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   My mom is calling 911 she thinks I'm a triangle.
   
   Am I sploo yet risir did you I make you proud mama?!
2. 2017-04-20 at 12:48 PM UTC

   #2
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   She broke my meth pipe on the floor and spilled all my benadryl so I stood up and slapped her and yelled "MY GIRLFRIENDS!!!!"
3. 2017-04-20 at 12:52 PM UTC

   #3
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I'm like don't worry about me you do you and she acts like ive been injecting her with the drugs late at night with used needles. I dont get it.
   
   Like geez mom its just some Zech and ZENDIES no need to scare the cats lol
4. 2017-04-20 at 12:53 PM UTC

   #4
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   My mom and RisR would get along they are both rats
5. 2017-04-20 at 12:54 PM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I should post her PI MAYBe risir would like me
6. 2017-04-20 at 12:55 PM UTC

   #6
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Lol
7. 2017-04-20 at 12:58 PM UTC

   #7
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I'm like what the fuck are you even doing here GO TO WORK GET A JOB YOU FUCKING MONGOLROY USELESS PIECE OF SHIT HIKIMORI SHUT IN NEET LOSER NEVER GONNA FIND A GIRLFRIEND LOL.
   
   Thats right I called my mom a virgin what the fuck are you gonna do about it call the cops
8. 2017-04-20 at 12:58 PM UTC

   #8
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   CASH ME OUTSIDE HOW BOW DAH!!!
9. 2017-04-20 at 1 PM UTC

   #9
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Oh my god I'm gonna fucking record a YouTube video of her beating me up and calling the cops in gonna become famous and spread trianglism globally through CNN and zough zyrup memes just like Donald trump man MEMES ARE THE NEW CURRENCY
10. 2017-04-20 at 1:21 PM UTC

    #10
    

    bling bling Dark Matter
    idot
11. 2017-04-20 at 1:25 PM UTC

    #11
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I tried to sell her tech 15 for a 20 I'll do you up.
    
    Did I do tha lic?
12. 2017-04-20 at 4:40 PM UTC

    #12
    

    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    your parents seem pretty chill bud. when I was 17 i went to jail twice, once for not taking my seroquel and fighting with my dad. Another time for my mom telling my dad I had a wooden pipe that smelled like weed and he came home and tried to fight me.
    
    And when I was 15 i was suspended from school for having marijauna. My dad would wake me up to go to the alternative school by throwing a glass of water in my face and then would start calling me a drug head and saying, "yeeeaahhhhh man" in stereotypical hippy dialect/voice, looking like he was about to break into analytical tears...
    
    At the alternative school they made you wear blue pants/ jeans and some kind of white shirt. Instead of just blue jeans and a regular white shirt my parents made me wear blue corduroy/ pleeted pants and a button down long sleeve shirt.
    
    I'd never been around "ghetto" kids before in my entire life so it was a huge culture shock for me, all the black kids were making fun of me saying shit like "dis nigga thinx he's goin' ta church!" and one black kid even called me a "honkey faggot"
    
    I had no idea how to react, because I wasn't used to shit talking of that order..
    
    I know my parents loved me but to an extent I believe they were way too over protective.
    
    Also when I was either 14 or 15. I printed off a bunch of amateur pictures of girls asses in panties and put them inside of a shoebox along with a water bottle of bourbon and my diary. I wrote about how I wanted to "rape" this tomboy christina I hungout with at school. It was just my adolescent sexual aggression coming out and my need to dominate a girl sexually. Not that I actually wanted to hurt her (my first gf ever who was 14 had rape fantasies, it all was a fantasy) But they found all the stuff in the shoebox, and try explaining all that to your parents when your 14 and have never even had sex before lol
    
    But yeah my dad said I shouldn't write things like that or have pictures of girls but at least he knows I'm not a gay. There I was standing there with a neck brace and my arm in a sling feeling embarrassed / ashamed. But at that age and being so sheltered I didn't know any better and believed my parents on a lot of bs.
    
    Your mum just wants the best for you.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • The Self Taught Man
13. 2017-04-20 at 4:41 PM UTC

    #13
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    TL;DR
14. 2017-04-20 at 4:51 PM UTC

    #14
    

    infinityshock Black Hole
    post pics of your mom
15. 2017-04-20 at 5:11 PM UTC

    #15
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump My mom and RisR would get along they are both rats

    
    

    When I got arrested for arson I rattex'd hardcore and told the police all about the weed conspiracy insurance scam worth a million dollars while I was high as fuck on a lot of drugs and picked up with morphine and a tech pipe so they just let me go

    
    I have never done anything like that, Ratboy. I'm sure I would get along with your mother just fine, though. I'd eat her asshole for week straight while tweaking hardcore together and then she would make me some tendies and I'd beat the shit out of you and throw you out of the house.
16. 2017-04-20 at 5:12 PM UTC

    #16
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I actually remember that your mom is cool because of that letter she gave you. Remember?
17. 2017-04-20 at 5:16 PM UTC

    #17
    

    benny vader YELLOW GHOST

    Originally posted by Bill Krozby Your mum just wants the best for you.

    
    have you turned out the way they'd wanted ???
18. 2017-04-20 at 5:26 PM UTC

    #18
    

    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

    Originally posted by benny vader have you turned out the way they'd wanted ???

    
    no, one of my parents biggest complaints is that I'm not religious enough / the way they want me to be. They are very conservative and religious. I'm religious but I have a lot of liberal leanings.
19. 2017-04-20 at 5:40 PM UTC

    #19
    

    benny vader YELLOW GHOST

    Originally posted by Bill Krozby no, one of my parents biggest complaints is that I'm not religious enough / the way they want me to be. They are very conservative and religious. I'm religious but I have a lot of liberal leanings.

    
    did you ever tell them of their failure ???
20. 2017-04-20 at 6:36 PM UTC

    #20
    

    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

    Originally posted by benny vader did you ever tell them of their failure ???

    
    no because I feel like they did a lot for me without spoiling me. My dad and I were having an argument a lil over a year ago and he told me "doug, you dug your own hole, I could of done nothing for you and you probably would of still turned out the same"
    
    and the funny thing was before he said that, I was thinking the exact same thing I just didn't want to act ungrateful for all him and my mother did for me and piss him off but he's kind of right.
    
    And plus things could turn around for me at anytime so I don't think they've failed. People change sometimes. I'm a very different person than I used to be. A lot more positive and a lot more secure with who I am.
    
    Who knows maybe 5 years later ill show up in drop top six or something like that.