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The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
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2020-01-29 at 1:56 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs ok i will TRY to be on topic in this thread from now on. i can't make promises though fucking mexicans get in a certain mood and its hard to claw my way out of it
because i'm weak…part of me just doesn't care to be sober anymore. procrastinating..a sprinkle of boredom. kinda hate life. on a positive note i tend to be more creative and i communicate better with others when i drink. i hate chit chat sober…i remain silent most of time sober. i hate people…everything really sober…especially your thread. no hate just sayin
although i tend to ramble like this a lot drinking…hmm
I'm thinking of hanging myself sometime this year depending on what the future holds.
Care to join me? -
2020-01-29 at 1:58 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs your ancestors are NOT AMERICA. you are making me go off topic and this will piss off Casper since I just posted I would try to remain on topic out of respect to him but FUCK YOU VERY MUCH.
Yeah they are. My ancestors are from America. Yours aren't even from this continent. -
2020-01-29 at 2:10 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER With as much as you talk about cramming things in your shitpussy, i was sure you were a tweaker?
In any case, whats the end game?;Just live the way youre living, until you die? Get drunk until you win the lottery?
once a tweaker. for roughly 10 years. a few mental breaks/stays, and alcohol have really skewed everything about myself, my views, beliefs..than got hooked on just about any pill i could find a family..friends houses. didn't care as long as it go rid of the anger for even an hr...tens of thousands of dollars i stole in pills for this, that, your house...whenever i could...than got drunk. (i secretly from those closet to me beck then and now)enjoy mine own misery...i really do througout all the yrs but what has developed slower is enjoying the misery i cause others because of my addictions...and the misery just going on in their lives
when i'm sober i really don't feel much of anything anymore. i literally log off now...lose myself in netflix and next thing i know its already tomorrow...without a drink i just don't care about whats going on outside
at least when i'm drunk or high on something i feel something...anything even if its fleeting...i'm in my 29th year of drinking and its the one constant in my life...i have never been able to rely on anyone..turn to...or trust enough...except for one person and she killed herself
but i always have the bottle...and it'll be in my hands in my coffin. only one i'll ever have in this and the so called after life. i really hope its all just nothing though..guess i can finally have peace of mind. than on the other hand i wouldn't be able to suffer and see others suffer. so fucked in life and death.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-29 at 2:10 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-29 at 2:11 PM UTC
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2020-01-29 at 2:14 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs once a tweaker. for roughly 10 years. a few mental breaks/stays, and alcohol have really skewed everything about myself, my views, beliefs..than got hooked on just about any pill i could find a family..friends houses. didn't care as long as it go rid of the anger for even an hr…tens of thousands of dollars i stole in pills for this, that, your house…whenever i could…than got drunk. (i secretly from those closet to me beck then and now)enjoy mine own misery…i really do througout all the yrs but what has developed slower is enjoying the misery i cause others because of my addictions…and the misery just going on in their lives
when i'm sober i really don't feel much of anything anymore. i literally log off now…lose myself in netflix and next thing i know its already tomorrow…without a drink i just don't care about whats going on outside
at least when i'm drunk or high on something i feel something…anything even if its fleeting…i'm in my 29th year of drinking and its the one constant in my life…i have never been able to rely on anyone..turn to…or trust enough…except for one person and she killed herself
but i always have the bottle…and it'll be in my hands in my coffin. only one i'll ever have in this and the so called after life. i really hope its all just nothing though..guess i can finally have peace of mind. than on the other hand i wouldn't be able to suffer and see others suffer. so fucked in life and death.
Have you been sober for any period of longer than....a month or two? -
2020-01-29 at 2:42 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Have you been sober for any period of longer than….a month or two?
that in can remember in 29 yrs...the longest was 5 and half months..i was working on two crews construction and renovations. i worked 6 days/well over 60 hrs a week during that period and about 3 months when i went back to drinking. i am a fat bastard but i was such a work horse then i hardly was ever tired. maybe 2-3 hrs tops a night sleep and that was more than enough. my right wrist and back were a lot stronger then too...i could take the punishment/grind and than some. arthiristic...whatever sp? in the wrist and a chronic back problem developed i needed the booze to deal with it...docs were suggesting surgery and taking off x amount of time off work THAT I COULDN'T AFFORD TO DO..and the booze helped...than with all the pills...don't aks what i just took whatever i could get my hands on...than i got fired from both jobs
even when both bosses fired me...each was like i'm drunk and high right now...why should i care? i probably had that expression my face too. didn't effect me at all...even losing all that money i was just making over like 8-9 months...i saved up most of what i made during that time too. all i cared about was..i was drunk and high again...well more so numb...at least i still felt something
one thing that always bothered me when i was working like a mad man...everything during that period like birthdays, parties, being around friends, all the good shit in life...sober me was just a fucking zombie. i barely reacted to anything good going on around me or with myself...some fam would be like smile so they can take a pic...or smile enjoy yourself..
i couldn't. it really bothered my father going back many yrs before that...he'd often observe and criticize me for that shit too...everything would be good at home as a kid. i rarely smiled or seemed to him i wasn't enjoying the good things...i just didn't feel much. much of the good shit was like whatever to me. yet when i first started drinking in my early teens my whole mood, personality..whatever wanna call it i was happy..he couldn't shut me up or anyone..didn't make sense to him and i always felt like i was being myself. that bothered him and it bothered me...too much history but i really became a real piece of shit to him and everyone and i just didn't care
fuck this thread. no offence bro but time to do what i do best in life...and time to forget about all the seriousness and bullshit in life. peace. send the bill in the mail. no doubt you're gonna charge me like i charge everyone else.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-29 at 3:56 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs once a tweaker. for roughly 10 years. a few mental breaks/stays, and alcohol have really skewed everything about myself, my views, beliefs..than got hooked on just about any pill i could find a family..friends houses. didn't care as long as it go rid of the anger for even an hr…tens of thousands of dollars i stole in pills for this, that, your house…whenever i could…than got drunk. (i secretly from those closet to me beck then and now)enjoy mine own misery…i really do througout all the yrs but what has developed slower is enjoying the misery i cause others because of my addictions…and the misery just going on in their lives
when i'm sober i really don't feel much of anything anymore. i literally log off now…lose myself in netflix and next thing i know its already tomorrow…without a drink i just don't care about whats going on outside
at least when i'm drunk or high on something i feel something…anything even if its fleeting…i'm in my 29th year of drinking and its the one constant in my life…i have never been able to rely on anyone..turn to…or trust enough…except for one person and she killed herself
but i always have the bottle…and it'll be in my hands in my coffin. only one i'll ever have in this and the so called after life. i really hope its all just nothing though..guess i can finally have peace of mind. than on the other hand i wouldn't be able to suffer and see others suffer. so fucked in life and death.
Enjoy Korsakoff Syndrome. At least opiates won't literally give me a form of dementia. I'm sorry your life has been shit, but there's nothing i can say to make it better so i won't. -
2020-01-29 at 4:01 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs that in can remember in 29 yrs…the longest was 5 and half months..i was working on two crews construction and renovations. i worked 6 days/well over 60 hrs a week during that period and about 3 months when i went back to drinking. i am a fat bastard but i was such a work horse then i hardly was ever tired. maybe 2-3 hrs tops a night sleep and that was more than enough. my right wrist and back were a lot stronger then too…i could take the punishment/grind and than some. arthiristic…whatever sp? in the wrist and a chronic back problem developed i needed the booze to deal with it…docs were suggesting surgery and taking off x amount of time off work THAT I COULDN'T AFFORD TO DO..and the booze helped…than with all the pills…don't aks what i just took whatever i could get my hands on…than i got fired from both jobs
even when both bosses fired me…each was like i'm drunk and high right now…why should i care? i probably had that expression my face too. didn't effect me at all…even losing all that money i was just making over like 8-9 months…i saved up most of what i made during that time too. all i cared about was..i was drunk and high again…well more so numb…at least i still felt something
one thing that always bothered me when i was working like a mad man…everything during that period like birthdays, parties, being around friends, all the good shit in life…sober me was just a fucking zombie. i barely reacted to anything good going on around me or with myself…some fam would be like smile so they can take a pic…or smile enjoy yourself..
i couldn't. it really bothered my father going back many yrs before that…he'd often observe and criticize me for that shit too…everything would be good at home as a kid. i rarely smiled or seemed to him i wasn't enjoying the good things…i just didn't feel much. much of the good shit was like whatever to me. yet when i first started drinking in my early teens my whole mood, personality..whatever wanna call it i was happy..he couldn't shut me up or anyone..didn't make sense to him and i always felt like i was being myself. that bothered him and it bothered me…too much history but i really became a real piece of shit to him and everyone and i just didn't care
fuck this thread. no offence bro but time to do what i do best in life…and time to forget about all the seriousness and bullshit in life. peace. send the bill in the mail. no doubt you're gonna charge me like i charge everyone else.
This got a little too real near the end. I hate alcohol but i'll have a glass to your health nigga. -
2020-01-29 at 4:50 PM UTCCheers and strickly plutoniaterry kisses Sophie. Sorry I just can't be and never will emotionally available. No offence sure you are real catch and amazing but I got my boundaries and walls YOU CAN'T EVER penetrate. more Kisses though IF you really want them from me...IF NOT cool. Just like kisses right now...if you invade my butt in my current condition leave me a couple dollars so I got that to remember you by...I certainly remember anything else
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2020-01-29 at 4:53 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs Cheers and strickly plutoniaterry kisses Sophie. Sorry I just can't be and never will emotionally available. No offence sure you are real catch and amazing but I got my boundaries and walls YOU CAN'T EVER penetrate. more Kisses though IF you really want them from me…IF NOT cool. Just like kisses right now…if you invade my butt in my current condition leave me a couple dollars so I got that to remember you by…I certainly remember anything else
It's okay i don't want to be with you. I'm just expressing sympathy. -
2020-01-29 at 4:57 PM UTCOk bro? sis? whatever. Cheers to you living a good life either way. If you are robotic or alien I can't cheer you on. You is just another nightmare I never wake up from and I wanna kinda sorta kill you. No sorries about it either. Deal with that real shit. Just sayin
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2020-01-29 at 4:59 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs Ok bro? sis? whatever. Cheers to you living a good life either way. If you are robotic or alien I can't cheer you on. You is just another nightmare I never wake up from and I wanna kinda sorta kill you. No sorries about it either. Deal with that real shit. Just sayin
I gotchu, no robot or alien here. My suffering is real. And real recognize real ya dig? -
2020-01-29 at 6:08 PM UTCCool. Lets date quartely than. No sex...it has to be earned lol. Maybe on the 4 or 5th date. Maybe. Suffering is good and real. I dig..YA but no anal stuff til we at least Internet trust each other kk? Internet shit is so important and valuable
Any actually teens or kids on here though? tell me...asking for a friend of a friend whos cousin I once knew. If so WE gotta get to plotting devious nasty shit..IF NOT whatever...maybe LURE them on here like a fishy wishy?? NO...? well we can be e-friends at least...in a boring way i guess *cries like a bitch* oh how exciting...NOT.
bYE. -
2020-01-29 at 6:11 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs Cool. Lets date quartely than. No sex…it has to be earned lol. Maybe on the 4 or 5th date. Maybe. Suffering is good and real. I dig..YA but no anal stuff til we at least Internet trust each other kk? Internet shit is so important and valuable
Any actually teens or kids on here though? tell me…asking for a friend of a friend whos cousin I once knew. If so WE gotta get to plotting devious nasty shit..IF NOT whatever…maybe LURE them on here like a fishy wishy?? NO…? well we can be e-friends at least…in a boring way i guess *cries like a bitch* oh how exciting…NOT.
bYE.
Yeah i mean, if you're in your 40's on the real you better bring some young cute pussy or this ain't gonna work. I'll fuck you every 5 dates but only on the condition you bring lolis to the trap house. -
2020-01-30 at 11:20 AM UTCi wont do intravenous drugs
please dont do intravenous drugs
i'll sip a brew
while im hangin with the buds
but we wont do intravenous drugs
i'll smoke a cigarette
aint nothin wrong with that
eat a burger
everyday of my life
but when it comes to my precious veins
thats where i refrain, that's where i abstain
cause a man
in life, has to draw the line
thats why i wont do intravenous drugs
please dont do intravenous drugs
watch me papa poppa caplet
in my mouth or in my butt
jus to prove I don't do intravenous drugs
Oh you could smoke some crack
From that, there's not much turning back
But I bet, you'll make it through the night!
But if you get yourself a needle and you muck up your blood
Your blood can't say when enough is enough
And you'll never, get a chance to make things right!
thats why i wont do intravenous drugs
please dont do intravenous drugs
watch me, momma poppa caplet
in my mouth or in my butt
just to prove I don't need intravenous drugs
Thank you, i plagiarized it myself.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-30 at 1:25 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs that in can remember in 29 yrs…the longest was 5 and half months..i was working on two crews construction and renovations. i worked 6 days/well over 60 hrs a week during that period and about 3 months when i went back to drinking. i am a fat bastard but i was such a work horse then i hardly was ever tired. maybe 2-3 hrs tops a night sleep and that was more than enough. my right wrist and back were a lot stronger then too…i could take the punishment/grind and than some. arthiristic…whatever sp? in the wrist and a chronic back problem developed i needed the booze to deal with it…docs were suggesting surgery and taking off x amount of time off work THAT I COULDN'T AFFORD TO DO..and the booze helped…than with all the pills…don't aks what i just took whatever i could get my hands on…than i got fired from both jobs
even when both bosses fired me…each was like i'm drunk and high right now…why should i care? i probably had that expression my face too. didn't effect me at all…even losing all that money i was just making over like 8-9 months…i saved up most of what i made during that time too. all i cared about was..i was drunk and high again…well more so numb…at least i still felt something
one thing that always bothered me when i was working like a mad man…everything during that period like birthdays, parties, being around friends, all the good shit in life…sober me was just a fucking zombie. i barely reacted to anything good going on around me or with myself…some fam would be like smile so they can take a pic…or smile enjoy yourself..
i couldn't. it really bothered my father going back many yrs before that…he'd often observe and criticize me for that shit too…everything would be good at home as a kid. i rarely smiled or seemed to him i wasn't enjoying the good things…i just didn't feel much. much of the good shit was like whatever to me. yet when i first started drinking in my early teens my whole mood, personality..whatever wanna call it i was happy..he couldn't shut me up or anyone..didn't make sense to him and i always felt like i was being myself. that bothered him and it bothered me…too much history but i really became a real piece of shit to him and everyone and i just didn't care
fuck this thread. no offence bro but time to do what i do best in life…and time to forget about all the seriousness and bullshit in life. peace. send the bill in the mail. no doubt you're gonna charge me like i charge everyone else.
Sounds like depression right off the bat. I was the same exact way as a kid...and still am to an extent. Its kind of just a question of how long you think you can continue living that way. If your answer is indefinitely- and it actually does something for you- then more power to you. I just didnt even think there was an alternative, but addict brains are fucking sneaky like that.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-30 at 4:46 PM UTCthis site is fucked up...only way i could find this thread was looking for any likes i have gotten from this thread. shit was off the map..but i'm calm now
Originally posted by CASPER Sounds like depression right off the bat. I was the same exact way as a kid…and still am to an extent. Its kind of just a question of how long you think you can continue living that way. If your answer is indefinitely- and it actually does something for you- then more power to you. I just didnt even think there was an alternative, but addict brains are fucking sneaky like that.
Yes I have always had the motherfucker Depression and I'm suppose to be on meds it can be very difficult to deal with at times. I don't and won't get said meds because that money used on them would take away from my alcohol money and I'm just not doing that. You like everyone else in life can't make me do it either!! plus I feel the meds AND I'VE BEEN ON MORE THAN A FEW DIFFERENT ONES!! they just make me wanna sleep all the time...or just stay in bed..I've never seen any improvement on any of them. Again I kinda like my own misery so I just deal with it in my own sick way. Not saying there is NO treatment out there for me OR OTHERS suffering through depression but for me I rather just be a grumpy motherfucker sober OR DRUNK to deal with it
I am suffer from one or two other disorders that I am not open right now in discussing but will say it makes far more challenging and skews my mind..emotions or lack of them
it feels good posting this shit to you...gets my mind off the fact that i'm sober for the next couple days til i have enough for another bottle...plus i might be going to a bitrthday party on saturday so....i might be hooked up on booze..and maybe other sweet things to indulge in...if i shower and shave again...kinda got a rather bummy look and smell like shit right now
how much are you charging me for these sessions any way? it might be awhile before I can pay you...like a long while....you'll probably have a few birthdays or so before you get the money -
2020-01-30 at 5 PM UTC
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2020-01-30 at 5:04 PM UTCsorry..
strips down nekkie and bathes in sewer water. since i got no regular water nearby. i'll use this expired tuna for soap
