ITT we list our emotional problems as factually as we can

1. 2019-12-31 at 8:10 PM UTC

   #21
   

   Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]

   Originally posted by Bill Krozby I'm not bragging. And family members and people I've been I'm relationships with tll me I am

   
   Dont you feed on everlasting darkness or something?
2. 2019-12-31 at 8:12 PM UTC

   #22
   

   Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]

   Originally posted by Octavian I quit smoking weed cause it dulls my senses, makes me parnoid, anxious and all round retard.
   
   I have a bad tick whem thinking about regretful things/ cringe/ mistakes I made in the past.
   
   Wasted years plays heavily, even more so when google cloud comes up reminding me, "today X years ago".
   
   The thought of more years wasted terrifies me.
   
   Inability to change scares me albeit I have accepted there will be times I may fall down as long as they don't proceed for consequetive days.
   
   Scared of other opportunities not presenting themselves.

   
   The inability to change scares me too, especially when I look at how stubborn some of my family members are. When youre toung youre so malleable and such a conductor for knowledge and now I feel super burned out. I feel years and haze and ptsd and health/mental effects are impeding me. I need to sharpen my tools
3. 2019-12-31 at 10:45 PM UTC

   #23
   

   HTS highlight reel
   Emotional problems? Pshh. I am the picture of emotional and mental health.
   
   In all seriousness though, I was once characterized as "serene" by my probation officer. That should tell you a little something - namely that I'm completely serene until I am very, very not serene and do something that ends up with me being on probation. I should probably forgo serenity in favor of expressing my mild irritations before they build up to catastrophic levels, but that's absolutely not in my nature.
   
   I'm also very insecure and socially anxious. I'm literally one of my WoW guild's top-tier raiders and I've never spoken in voice chat during a raid/ever (I joke about how it adds to my mystique, but honestly I am just way too anxious and I haven't spoken for so long that it'd be extra weird to just suddenly start). Thinking on it, that's probably why I give the appearance of serenity - I'm too afraid to do or say anything that might make someone like me less... up until I can't help myself, and do something big that gives people an actual reason to be like "what the fuck is wrong with you".
   
   Also I suffer from extreme contentedness, which may not sound like a bad thing but the world can deteriorate around me and I basically don't give a shit 90% of the time. It makes me lazy, unhygenic, and dispassionate. I have very little drive to do anything because as the trash piles up around me and everything goes to shit, as far as my brain is concerned "this is fine".
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Octavian, 
   • cigreting
4. 2019-12-31 at 11:06 PM UTC

   #24
   

   Octavian motherfucker

   Originally posted by HTS Also I suffer from extreme contentedness, which may not sound like a bad thing but the world can deteriorate around me and I basically don't give a shit 90% of the time. It makes me lazy, unhygenic, and dispassionate. I have very little drive to do anything because as the trash piles up around me and everything goes to shit, as far as my brain is concerned "this is fine".

   
   I found this last bit interesting and somewhat relatable. During periods of unemployment I could go weeks without venturing out the door unless to do my weekly shop etc. I would question whether this behaviour was normal, that maybe I should socialise regardless of having no monies at the time to do so? My friend Scott seems to get about considering having no money, I put this down to his inability to keep still (ADHD). All I know is during periods of having little money I can happily hibernate till better opportunities present themselves. It's these periods I feel that my life is most wasted somewhat.
   
   Then given my sober circumstances now I question what is to be done? Self improvement is a good thing no doubt about it, even Malice in his self imposed isolation mastered physical perfection. (I loved his perspicacious nature). I want a semblance of normality now I've rid myself of negative influences etc.
   
   I think I'll resign myself to further self improvement educationally for betterment of future career prospects. Getting this apartment bought would give me more security so I can fuck off and see the world without worrying about rent etc. I think after that it would be about seeing where to go from there really.
5. 2019-12-31 at 11:37 PM UTC

   #25
   SPLAT Houston
   Narcissist here and maybe BPD
6. 2019-12-31 at 11:45 PM UTC

   #26
   

   kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

   Originally posted by Sudo Dont you feed on everlasting darkness or something?

   
   lol, thats what it says..
7. 2019-12-31 at 11:51 PM UTC

   #27
   

   kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
   that was a a pretty epic kro thread..
   
   You ever heard the saying "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"? Why wouldn't I want to keep tabs on someone that has held me against my will, assaulted me, raped me, and nearly killed me? Someone who's cheated on me, financially abused me, and destroyed my personal belongings? Don't you obsess about the things you truly fear? The things that could really destroy you? Maybe that's just me and my anxious personality. This is someone who has left me in their bed to go fuck someone else, someone who has forced me to suck their dick even after I've yelled no, cried, and bit their dick multiple times, someone who's pulled fistfuls of hair out of my head on several occasions. Someone who got my laptop stolen because they invited a streetwalker in to smoke speed. Someone who sold my childhood GameBoy Color for drug money. Someone who has rubbed my own vomit in my face. Someone who's thrown my cell phone under a running faucet when I called the police because I was being attacked. Someone who has bit me, choked me, spanked me, and spit on me in a very aggressive, extreme, non-sexual way. He's a sociopath. There's no remorse for the things he's done. There's no concept of shame or doing wrong. He's a soulless vessel operating off of negative energy, chemicals, and lies. There's more wrong than there's right. There's more myth than truth. That's what he feeds on; the abundant source of darkness. When you've encountered something like that, when you've been intimate with something like that, it's a little hard to forget.