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Humor NIS thinks is fucking funny

  1. #21
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Technologist Gad,
    Hello my buddy 🙃

    Hey.

    Merry xmas and all that.
  2. #22
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by gadzooks Hey.

    Merry xmas and all that, ya one-tittied bitch.
  3. #23
    the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    So it was Christmas time 2014 I had just tried meth for the first time a few months prior. My dad was in jail and I was all alone.

    So I bought a bunch of meth and trashed my house. I kept thinking my boss was going to come into my house because he knew my landlords.

    Then I started hallucinating that my landlords were doing a bunch of work on the house, putting up for sale signs so i had to not do drugs near windows.
    Then they started putting up ladders against all the windows and climbing on the roof to string up a fucking Santa Claus banner. They had a fake frost you spray on glass to make it look festive and while the guy on the ladder was spraying it on my bathroom window I was hiding under the sink terrified and then he used his fingers to write messages in the frost

    I C U

    he even wrote it backwards so it would look normal to me. I was being assaulted by fucking Christmas decorations and then they started knocking on my door trying to decorate the inside but I boarded up the door the night before because a drunk native person knocked on my door and threatened me (that part was actually real)

    I think the drunk guy that came to my door triggered a psychotic break with the meth because after that I was balls to the wall insane and hallucinated non stop for a week.

    I ended up in the mental hospital at new years and my boss had to come pick me up and the next day I went into work spun and late and he just told me to sit down and said im clearly not well and should take a few months off

    NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A MERRY CHRISTMAS
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #24
    cigreting Dark Matter
    okey so moral of story is dont do met
    got it
  5. #25
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    that wasnt even the moral of the story
  6. #26
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by cigreting okey so moral of story is dont fuck elderly niggers and niglets
    got it
  7. #27
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    posting in a mi11ennial thred
  8. #28
    the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    I do it a lot but that was like a perfect storm. Alone at Christmas, drunk guy knocking on my door threatened me, I was working holiday overtime at work so my co workers and boss could spend time with their family and friends instead of watch the store.

    Also my Christmas bonus and paycheck got frozen because I used my bank account to buy bitcoins. I had no money to buy food so I just did more meth

    The only thing that kept me sane was my cats and I started hallucinating that they ate poison and called poison control who called the police on me lol
  9. #29
    cigreting Dark Matter
    did the cops show up at your place
  10. #30
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by cigreting did the cops show up at your place

    Shut the fuck up, mud puppet.
  11. #31
    cigreting Dark Matter
    Originally posted by WellHung Shut the fuck up, mud puppet.

    ever talk like that to me again ill suk ur dik faget
  12. #32
    the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    Originally posted by cigreting did the cops show up at your place

    Yeah I kept checking the bushes for the native guy and told them not to touch the doorhandles I think someone sprayed them with poison

    The mental hospital was nice though
  13. #33
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    I was almost killed by the old poison on the doorhandle trick. Luckily, my body was able to overpower the effects of the toxin.
  14. #34
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    Damn, you all make meth sound interesting.
  15. #35
    the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    Amphetamine psycosis is like being in a horror movie and the consequences are real.
  16. #36
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood So it was Christmas time 2014 I had just tried meth for the first time a few months prior. My dad was in jail and I was all alone.

    So I bought a bunch of meth and trashed my house. I kept thinking my boss was going to come into my house because he knew my landlords.

    Then I started hallucinating that my landlords were doing a bunch of work on the house, putting up for sale signs so i had to not do drugs near windows.
    Then they started putting up ladders against all the windows and climbing on the roof to string up a fucking Santa Claus banner. They had a fake frost you spray on glass to make it look festive and while the guy on the ladder was spraying it on my bathroom window I was hiding under the sink terrified and then he used his fingers to write messages in the frost

    I C U

    he even wrote it backwards so it would look normal to me. I was being assaulted by fucking Christmas decorations and then they started knocking on my door trying to decorate the inside but I boarded up the door the night before because a drunk native person knocked on my door and threatened me (that part was actually real)

    I think the drunk guy that came to my door triggered a psychotic break with the meth because after that I was balls to the wall insane and hallucinated non stop for a week.

    I ended up in the mental hospital at new years and my boss had to come pick me up and the next day I went into work spun and late and he just told me to sit down and said im clearly not well and should take a few months off

    NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A MERRY CHRISTMAS

    tearing shit apart is the best lmao
  17. #37
    the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    I had no wood or nails so i smashed random furniture for wood and used broken pieces of cost hangers as nails. It worked pretty well!
  18. #38
    I PULL UP 5 YEARS LATER IN A DROP TOP SIX

    LMAO
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