2019-12-21 at 8:31 AM UTC
Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace
One time i bought a box of sushi
Came home
Opened it up
IT WAS THE WRONG SUSHI
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2019-12-21 at 8:50 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER
I’m redeeming a story for additional lolcats.
I once knew this nigger named G who was an absolute nigger like a gigantic nigger.
His mom was a super diversity black neighborhood council mucketymuck and she had a ton of money and they lived 8n Baldwin Hills.
G was just an absolute garbage person mostly bc he knew his mom would bail him out.
He went to Beverly Hills high, and as the token black kid, started his own crip “set” entitled Beverly Hills Baby Gangster Crips. I once had the pleasure of witnessing one of his friends tell him during a gun deal that he needed to stop running his mouth about shit “on neighborhood”, bc he wasn’t a fucking crip, he was driving his moms car, and we had just returned from his college tutoring session.
Anyway G is a huuuuuuuge dumpster fire. Just as a handful of quick examples, he made his Mexican gf give him head in a crowded restaurant full of people while he smoked a foil of heroin, and then proceeded to urinate beer piss all over every seat in the back row of INDIANA JONES AND THE K8NGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL which he procla8med to be “white people shit”. He was probably right. He also had some of the worst hygiene I’ve ever seen in my life. He smelled like constant BO despite wearing $1500 outfits. He reached in his pants to scratch his balls constantly and always wanted to hit your blunt. He threw up multiple times a day. Just nasty nasty fucking dude.
Anyway I get a call fro his gf one night and she’s frantic and needs me there. Not wanting to lose one of my best customers, I head over.
I get there and she answers the door with a bloody mouth. I walk inside and he’s at the kitchen sink, eyes closed drooling, eating a piece of fried kpchicken with one hand and lazily masturbating with the other. They got in a fight when she wouldn’t give him the last of her heroin, so he then took the heroin, did the rest of the cocaine, took some ambien, and then 8 expired sample packs of Zyprexa that he had for some strange reason. So now he’s sleepwalking, completely unconscious! Eating chicken and jerking off.For years I had a whole drawer full of 2007 zyprexa covered I black char melted balloons and baking soda, bc steph asked me to take all the stuff that night.
But yeah. Way to be a stereotype bro.
I got you. Good story. Thanks.
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2019-12-21 at 8:52 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER
I’m redeeming a story for additional lolcats.
I made you a better 100% custom LOLcat since my first one for you was pretty shitty.
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2019-12-21 at 9:11 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rrr
DEL MONTE ∆
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2019-12-21 at 9:52 AM UTC
The Mayor of El Segundo always had this prize winning pumpkin. Super small town white people shit. Thing was like 60 lb and the size of a balance ball. Anyway some hooligans decided to drink a bunch of old crow and get into some mischief so they stole the pumpkin and we’re going to toss it in the ocean but Pats faggy shortbed F150 couldn’t handle Grand Hill and this fucking squash boulder shot out the side of the bed and goes rolling into traffic. Completely caves in the back of an Isuzu stopped at the bottom of the hill. The lil banditos had to dip scrape to hermosa for a bit so avoid prosecution for squash shenanigans but no one got murked and Flippo n Justin got a ski job from some big titted nerd chick on some serious #metoo vibes but it’s all good in the hood mis carnales.
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2019-12-21 at 10:23 AM UTC
Have we told you boys about these lolcats? This is the deal of the sentry. We’re talking 100% custom lolcats, for free!
2019-12-21 at 10:25 AM UTC
Jesus Christ, this thread is getting so long.
2019-12-21 at 10:38 AM UTC
You’re close! It’s really coming together.
2019-12-21 at 10:39 AM UTC
Originally posted by Poast
You’re close! It’s really coming together.
Better?
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2019-12-21 at 10:41 AM UTC
Nobody cared who I was until I put on the lolcat.
2019-12-21 at 10:44 AM UTC
Originally posted by Poast
Nobody cares who I was until I put on the lolcat.
Are you fucking happy now?!
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2019-12-22 at 11:03 AM UTC
I found a really old picture of me with Erik Estrada. Him holding the Mad Magazine should've gotten me a free three year subscription to the magazine but I never found where to turn it into. And Mad MAGAzine isn't really funny. He was in my town helping his wife promote baby seats for cars or something retarded. I got him to sign a poster of the insane clown posse but my mom threw it out in a move years ago. I really wish I had that poster. That's retardation on another level. An ICP poster from the Jekyell Brothers era signed by Ponch.
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