I think when I kill myself, I'll have my voicemail recording be something like...

1. 2019-11-18 at 8:31 PM UTC

   #1
   

   Needledick Needledick Needledick motherfucker [mulishly down your brachydactylia]
   "help you've reached the voicemail of needledick, I'm not able to answer your call your call right now because I'm dead; I fuckin put myself to sleep with nitrogen/carbon monoxide/fentanyl/whatever. No need to leave a message"
   
   User was banned for saying the taboo phrase "car"!
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Bueno, 
   • Grylls
2. 2019-11-18 at 8:36 PM UTC

   #2
   

   Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Dark Matter [my scoffingly uncritical tinning]
   Op succeeded in shoahing himself
3. 2019-11-18 at 8:46 PM UTC

   #3
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
   "Hi! I'm dead now, but you can still leave a message, if you like."
4. 2019-11-18 at 9:31 PM UTC

   #4
   

   Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
   ahahaha
5. 2020-01-03 at 2:07 AM UTC

   #5
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

   Originally posted by Mad Matt dont do it sonny

   
   Too late. He's gone.