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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2016-02-12 at 5:41 PM UTCOh, Lanny, btw, methylene blue significantly potentiates LSD (from experience and in theory, due to it's MOA, it should), and should do the same for other psychedelics: http://www.ceretropic.com/methylene-blue-powder/
It has very nice nootropic, pro-cognitive properties, not simply in terms of increasing cognitive ability in the standard sense, but neuroprotectant properties for long term health and it augments the neurological ATP system (more energy for cognition, stamina).
Mainly though, it's something to consider because you only need about 2.5-5mg or so, a blue microscoop is good enough, and the half life is relatively short, so you'll get the potentiation without it necessarily being really drawn out like other MAOIs will cause or the risks they have. Seems to mainly inhibit MAO-A, possibly reversibly. I've combined it with plugged amphetamine and have been fine (I knew what I was doing), so that's real world evidence of the safety. It's nowhere near as powerful as pharmaceutical MAOIs, so there's no need to worry about the risks those have.
I noticed this when I took it before microdosing LSD. The effect was definitely much stronger than usual, despite the dose being very low. Could save a lot of money and greatly increase how long your stash lasts. Just something that came to mind.Maybe don't post about big time international drug operations on.a public forum, bro.
Oh please, this isn't anywhere near "big time". The idea of me being a drug lord is laughable, and if the feds have ever monitored me they probably know I'm just a sad case. I'm not planning anything anyone would be concerned about, they'd be completely wasting their time. I just like ideas, developing crazy schemes, it's something I've regularly done. -
2016-02-12 at 9:49 PM UTCOh god, the universe hates me. I finally managed to get my Nardil prescription on Monday and then ran into delays 3 times trying to get it filled. I wanted it right away, now I'll have to wait until next week.
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2016-02-12 at 10 PM UTCwtf Why did I smoke weed. I'm all antsy and paranoid. I feel like I need a beer to mellow myself out.
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2016-02-12 at 11:27 PM UTCAnother day I won't remember, another day I wished away.
Tedious days punctuated by dismay,
everyday feels the same. -
2016-02-13 at 3:05 AM UTC
Another day I won't remember, another day I wished away.
Tedious days punctuated by dismay,
everyday feels the same.
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2016-02-13 at 3:19 AM UTC
wtf Why did I smoke weed. I'm all antsy and paranoid. I feel like I need a beer to mellow myself out.
Same, hard for me to enjoy weed on its own but one hit and N drinks makes for a pretty good buzz.Another day I won't remember, another day I wished away.
Tedious days punctuated by dismay,
everyday feels the same.
It tickles me that you seem to like crywank. Pity sex is in the same genre in terms of being "so bad it's good" plus severe depression:
and Have a Nice Life's Deathconsciousness is also considered to be essential depression-core while being, musically, a really interesting album (a genre-buster if there ever was one). -
2016-02-13 at 5:09 AM UTC
For a lot of years I had this thing where I'd remember some awkward and embarrassing or guilty moment in my past and just feel terrible about it, which is fairly standard I think, we all cringe at our younger selves a bit, but I developed the habit of responding to memories like that by imagining myself dying. Like I'd be walking along, remember that time I lied about watching whatever TV show my 10 year old friends were talking about and got caught, and in response picture the nearest person to me pulling out a gun and shooting me in the head. Or I'd think about jumping out in front of a car or something. That's kind of a mild example of social embarrassment but it was one of a handful of things that really bugged me for whatever reason, a couple of them actually being pretty grim. I think the logic behind it was that creating as immediate of a fear of death as possible would be enough to trigger some part of the fight/flight response and I'd be able to forget whatever I had just thought, which sounds kinda similar to what you're talking about. I did this from grade school until I was like 21.
Eventually it occurred to me (during a trip actually) that that seemed really unhealthy. I made a concerted effort, when I remembered something awkward/painful like that, to engage with the memory and be like "yeah, I did that, I'm responsible for that, but I can't change it". It was actually a pretty hard habit to break because it required I acknowledge something I really didn't want to but I found that as I did so those moments of shame or embarrassment stopped being a cause for anxiety. The stupid things I can laugh about now and the worse ones I still regret but at least I can admit to.
I don't know if any of that is relevant to you, but I think if it is then you're better off engaging with the awful things you're afraid of, even if that's painful to do so, than to be like "well if that happens I'm calling it quits". The stoics had some interesting ideas around preparing yourself for the worst. I think it was Epictetus in particular who advocated always contemplating the worse possible outcomes to a situation so that if it is realized it will be defanged, he thought that our emotional states are fundamentally self-determined and if we refuse, in advance of an outcome, declare ourselves destroyed or crushed by a particular turn of events, then such an outcome won't have power over how we feel. I'm not sure doting on the worst is always the answer but if we place anything as outside the real of "I can deal with that", if we refuse to even contemplate some things, then all we're doing is building it up as the thing that will be our undoing when there's no necessary reason to.
Unnaturally high sensitivity to negativity, negative social events. I noticed the exact same thing in myself, although I didn't realize/come to terms with how incredibly oversensitive I had been all my life, capable of being excessively effected by these events with the effects lasting an unnaturally long time, until some time within the last two years. I also didn't realize how much difficulty I had had in identifying my (underlying) emotions, and that I had likely been depressed to some extent beginning over a decade ago.
I really do wonder what you'd score on a good autism quotient test if you were able to accurately perceive yourself, developed a thorough enough understanding of what autism is, the signs of being on the spectrum (everyone has autistic traits to some extent, what autism is is greatly misunderstood, the common perception of it), reflected on your life and recognized certain signs/traits, came to terms with things.
I also wonder whether, due to the same difficulty I had in recognizing my emotional state, not realizing how unhappy I was/what a lack of joy/pleasure there was in my life relative to other people with healthy lives, you're depressed to some extent, possibly having been for a long period of time.On the other hand I was kind of an unhappy kid. Even for a good chunk of college I was, uhh, not depressed per se but I just didn't feel any "magic", one day was much like the next and I didn't particularly care about any of them, almost all the elements of my existence felt like a slog.
Your lifestyle is much healthier than mine, and your past far less damaging, you have a passion, some social interaction, means of fulfillment, successful; so you're unlikely to lapse into major depression. Still, I wonder if at some point in your life you will, whether there's going to be a point where it will suddenly begin to dawn on you, possibly causing a downward spiral. There does seem to be a predisposition, and many of your behaviors and things I remember about your life history fit.
I don't want it to be true, there's nothing good about this and your suffering will bring me no joy, I won't derive any satisfaction from having been right; but it's going to be interesting if years from now, possibly decades, you'll realize I was right. Then again, ideally you'd fully escape being depressed to any significant extent, develop a life that brings you enough happiness and social/emotional support to create an adequate safety net, and your past wouldn't really matter at that point. -
2016-02-13 at 7:02 AM UTCDamn, still having thoughts of suicide. I thought I was over that point. I wish I could just put myself into a coma and sleep until my Nardil prescription is available. I've accepted that I've degraded to the point where, realistically, I need the most powerful antidepressants and anxiolytics (Nardil has both properties) just to function and be able to begin to attempt to recover. I'll probably need to be on it for the rest of my life, but I'm okay with that. I had endogenous deficits to begin with, I likely always would have needed medication, or at least greatly benefited from it, but at this point so much damage has been done it's really a necessity. God, those days where it was painful just to make it to the end where I would have a reprieve from consciousness, I hoped to never go back to that point. I don't develop a desire for sleep from physical or mental exhaustion, it's from being tired of just existing in this state. It's not anywhere near as bad as it was during the peak around late 2014, the thought of returning to that point scares me; I know how people feel before they commit suicide. I'm going to continue to degrade without intervention. I really try not to think of everything that's occurred, the cumulative effect of the damage that's been done and what I missed out on, I had severe OCD, which can manifest in very different forms, and just kept replaying things over and over day after day for years, recurrent themes and fixations.
This must be what it feels like to be terminally ill. I have enough etizolam to KO me for as long as needed, if it gets to that point, but recognize I shouldn't. Had been drinking nearly every day for a week or two just to get me through them. Adopt and aspie and rebuild me. As bad as this sounds, and I know exactly how it comes across, I really just needed someone to save me from the cycle I was trapped in, but no one owes it to me and life isn't like the movies, the world is inadequate and people all around us suffer and fall. I did this, I drove myself to a point where there was literally no one there and I was in a state, things had been developing for so long, that I was in the worst position to begin to change. I was so extremely autistic I began systemizing humanity, then my life, finally my being. Even after all the damage, in that state, I had enough intelligence where I genuinely managed to significantly reduce my symptoms (inadvertently treating chronic inflammation and the downstream effect on synaptic pruning, along with memantine and a few other key substances are likely what caused it; it would take too long to explain everything) and come to understand everything.
And I'm still going in autistic cycles. This has been said before, the themes at least aren't new. But, it's like, to begin with text on a screen doesn't always give an accurate impression of what someone's like IRL. To demonstrate this point I may have linked to an interesting thread I came across by a low functioning autistic with a very high IQ who was managing to excel in university, but still needed great assistance with basic tasks and had other deficits.
Imagine if you were the kind of autistic person who was completely trapped in their inner world, the kind that never speaks or has human relationships/interaction, just completely withdrawn and shut down, and then, through the process I went through, you managed to realize what you were and what had occurred, that this was your life and the state you were in, that you never developed normally and were now in the worst position to begin to change. To make it clearer, bring to mind a general image of a low functioning autistic just sitting on the floor hugging their knees, possibly rocking back and forth at times, glassy eyed and staring at the wall. Not that I was ever really at that point, but just imagine suddenly snapping out of it, and here you are. Absolutely absurd, out of all the people on Earth why did I have to be myself. The most profound and persistent feeling of alienation, isolation, ostracism, disillusionment, and melancholy.
I'm so emo I was tearing up behind my sunglasses walking home a few days ago because the world felt so empty, like there was nothing out there for me, and I didn't belong anywhere. Even home doesn't feel like home, it's a biological storage and maintenance facility, devoid of humanity. It was the homes that really depressed me, because they're all closed off to me, containers of human warmth I can't reach, feel, and am starving for. At this point I honestly can't even remember what it was like to be part of a family.
I can't believe I did this to myself. I suppose I could sum it up by saying that I essentially had a problem with being human, and that despite being in a human body somehow I really didn't understand how to live life as a human being at all. -
2016-02-13 at 7:47 AM UTCI wonder if Donald Trump will ever make a stop/have a rally in or near the bay area. I would totally go to that just for kicks and to get out more.
"You're like the Mexican version of Uncle Tom."
Tachosomoza said that to me once. *sigh* Those were fun times. Tempted to pull off a Hispanic version of Clayton Bigsby, even using fake tan, possibly ethnic clothing, or clothing with anti-immigration Mexican/border themed designs, while passing out pamphlets highlighting the negative effects of multiculturalism/immigration, along with a good primer on race realism.
Oh my god, imagine tracking down Tacho and sending him a video of that without informing him I was only doing it for my amusement, instead saying I had gone off the deep end and was genuinely an ardent Trump supporter.
It would depend on how Nardil effects me. I may also enlist the help of the chans for support, make them aware of my plans and hopefully have some people show up to provide emotional support, a group of peers to retreat into if needed.
"You don't have to be White to accept the supremacy of the White race." would probably be too over the top for a sign, go too far and people will think you're satirical or a saboteur. You have to play the line between confusing/befuddling and possibly insane/mentally unstable. -
2016-02-13 at 7:51 AM UTCDrugs are goooooooood.
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2016-02-13 at 8:04 AM UTCThe fact that "uncle tom" is considered a slur these days is kinda odd. I wonder how many people who use it that way undersand what its supposed to mean.
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2016-02-13 at 12:35 PM UTCHooker shit on me accidentally then tried to charge extra for it
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2016-02-14 at 12:25 AM UTCOne of the nitties set off the smoke alarm and came down with a belt still round his ​neck.
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2016-02-14 at 12:53 AM UTCCame across something interesting, a harm reduction organization in Spain that accepts illegal substances and does GC-MS and LC-MS for a low fee. Simple process and doesn't take too long to receive results.
http://energycontrol.org/international.html
https://www.reddit.com/r/DNMAvengers/comments/3ex6fu/questions_about_energy_control_test/ctk9t23
May be able to utilize it for free via the DNM Avengers: https://www.reddit.com/r/DNMAvengers/comments/3wiw1p/dnm_avengers_new_partnership_with_energy_control/ -
2016-02-14 at 7:47 AM UTC1.) An idea I had while lying in bed in the dark listening to the American Psycho audio book (I didn't realize/recall how dull a good portion of the first part was. Although, of course, there's a purpose behind it, a central theme to the book that author is illustrating.). Listening to audio books while on psychedelics, the increase in visualization ability and empathy (vicarious experiencing of emotion, being able to understand and identify with the emotional states of others, stronger theory of mind, being able to better feel and imagine what it's like to be someone else, their unique perception, thoughts, how their background and general mental profile shape this.) greatly augmenting the experience, having it unfold in your mind.
Seems a few other people had the same idea: http://www.google.com/search?q=audio...R+psychedelics
Good sci-fi, something fast paced and active, yet lacking elements that may be overly difficult to comprehend or that could throw you off considerably, depending on how it personally effects your cognition, could be the best choice. Mental processes and activity are generally amplified and accelerated, so something simplistic that doesn't enough action/intensity or a fast enough pace, doesn't captivate you and take up enough of your mental resources, could leave your mind wandering and distracted.
2.) Came across something amusing on the Darknet market subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/DarkNetMark...3h3w?context=3Stupid as fuck. That said I have certain google alerts to get my news. You can't imagine that shit I run into on Craigslist Most prominent "teach me the darkweb will pay". Some as high as $500. Oddly mostly the bay area.
Tons of pot and clones.What? To be clear, some people have posted actual listings offering to pay others to teach them how to utilize the darkweb?
I'm actually in the SF bay area. So…have you or "a friend" ever gone through with those offers? Just curious.
"How to use the darknet markets". I wonder if it would actually be illegal to do tutoring on that if you structured it properly.Yes they will pay. No idea about legality. No I don't have the time to teach anyone. Watch Craigslist.
Offering to tutor people on how to use the Darkweb. Bring a USB drive with all the programs needed, show them how to use them, maybe some print outs of files on instructions as well for them to reference afterward, how to acquire bitcoin, the best options, local and online, wallets and transferring safely (apparently your major online vendors like Circle may shut down accounts if you transfer directly to a market wallet without obfuscation), safety protocols, set up a password manager and how them how to use it (KeePass's auto-type is kind of neat/convenient), the various markets and top ones, quickly set up a throwaway account just for demonstration purposes, look through listings, choosing the best product and researching their needs, good sources for information on drugs, how to verify vendor reputability (mostly check the subreddit and Grams vendor profile page), the perils of finalizing early and risks of new vendors, what countries have the highest risk for international orders, a breakdown of stealth and how with proper technique there's a low likelihood of seizure, confirming the safety of it when done properly, the immense amount of mail that's continually being processed making it easy to slip things through and the stealth that's used to avoid detection, how even if it's found they'll only seize it and send a letter notifying that it was seized, that they can't prove you payed or agreed to have it sent to you and there are no repercussions, the psychology behind the fear of breaking the law and deconstructing the irrationality of their fears (much bigger things to worry about), safest methods for receiving it (PO box), extra precautions they can take if desired, how to use PGP to send to a vendor their order (The paper Why Johnny Can't Encrypt was so fucking sad, and I think it was done with UC Berkeley students, which only makes it worse. Oh god, just skim through it.), how to transfer to the market wallet and then pay, maybe even send them their first bitcoins (only a tiny amount is needed) to demonstrate the process and show that they actually make it through (big impact the closer they get to fully realizing and witnessing the entire process in motion, that it actually works and isn't a scam).
Legally, probably gray area at best, depending on how you handle it, but I highly doubt the police would set up a sting operation for this (they have much bigger things to worry about) if it even managed to get on their radar somehow. At the very least it could certainly be amusing and interesting, bring in a good hourly rate. Main question would be how much demand there would be, and marketing/advertising strategies. I wasn't serious at first, but writing it out, it does seem like it would make for a nice little course. -
2016-02-14 at 10:39 PM UTC1/3 of the way into the American Psycho audiobook. This is the worst thing I've ever listened to. It's completely believable that some people live in a world like this, and it's horrifying. There are many subcultures that are unacceptable, the hip hop/gangster/ghetto culture among minorities, religious clusters, god, just about everywhere you look you can find the majority being people you want nothing to do with, at the very least boring and unrelatable. This is different, though, a culture of the wealthy and intelligent, yet so grotesque.
It was one of the most depressing things I've listened to, unnerving due to the though that this may a reflection of what's awaiting you in many parts of the world, in corporate/high income environments, among some groups of professionals. How realistic it is aside, and there's something clear that it's building up to, I'm not sure I may have noticed this as clearly when I read the book, but I feel I understand why Bateman did what he did, killed and inflicted pain on so many people, in such a horrific manner. And up until now there's been no real action. I didn't realize the book was so incredibly dry in a way for such a large part of it. -
2016-02-15 at 5:20 AM UTCHappy valentines everybody.
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2016-02-15 at 5:43 AM UTCLanny, imagine this. And, hey, I read every one of your lengthy drunken/methed up rants and have no problem getting through it, even in my state, if you have a problem reading through this at an acceptable rate you need to work on your reading speed and ability to sustain attention. Now, there would still be the issue of whether this is worth reading (boring) or irrelevant to you, but the same is true from me to you: You eventually become well off enough to be able to afford a nice size home in a good neighborhood where many of your friends live, or can at least access rapidly enough. You've set it up with a banquet table, open kitchen, and nice recreation area (video games, other items for social events/group activities, drug/alcohol bar). Due to not having children, family, or a wife, or if you have a wife you've found someone who is similar to you, has similar traits, worldview, ideals, and is open to the following idea, and you're still able to have an area you can retreat to when you desire privacy. This region is always open at any time for whoever you've selected to use, let's say using a fingerprint system for safety. Fears of theft would be unfounded if you had selected high quality people in a good neighborhood, educated, lack of financial problems, and not having sociopathic or kleptomaniacal traits or some other form of mental illness/instability that would be cause for concern (mean world syndrome, cognitive biases, risks generally being greatly overestimated, particularly by women, especially those with children, on average). Considering the quality of the average person, even above average, which, using IQ as a proxy, would simply be anyone over 100, a low bar, even the average college graduate, I wouldn't blame the majority of people for not being open to this idea, for their concerns. God, particularly for the lower classes, those poor fools, this would never work for them and the people they have available. But were elitist here, we only want the best.
Humans weren't meant to be alone, and even if we don't recognize it, the overwhelming majority*
*Only a tiny fraction, Buddhist monks/hermits, members of other religions consumed by some ecstatic rapture, usually described as a feeling of connection or oneness to god, or a feeling of deep meaning or love mediated by some icon in their fables, most likely due to mental illness, but, hey, let's be honest, genuinely being able to believe something of that nature could make you genuinely blissful. I suppose you would then question whether it would be worth deluding yourself. Even then, Buddhism would be a better path and it wouldn't require isolation. As to the concept you've brought up before of being able to choose your own mental state, there's still an underlying biological framework, we evolved so that certain things make us happy, and there are still going to be limitations, channels you're essentially following. Even if you were pushing a boulder up a hill, you'd have to convince yourself and truly believe there was some deeper meaning to it, that it was amounting to something, contributing to the advancement of the human race, the joy/well being/utility of others; and this would essentially be a delusion, and it's questionable whether everyone would have the capacity for it, then you'd have to decide why you would even want to, and whether you could do so without essentially going mad, which would bring a host of other problems. My knowledge is much more scattered and less specialized than yours (computer science and philosophy), I don't know what your grasp of human evolution and behavior is. What I'm getting at is, my demonstration, well, let's use this example: Just think of the roots of the driving forces of behaviors. For example, you enjoy comp-sci. Ultimately it leads to survival benefits, there's an aspect of reciprocal altruism, the group dynamics of human beings and their cooperative systems, unfortunately mate acquisition is on some level always a factor, although for the intelligent it goes far beyond that.
So, wouldn't that seem ideal? Like, imagine this by your university, so you could draw in your favorite professors and students, just seek out people to abduct into your inner circle, which is even easier when you have someone with you. Ideally they would filled the hell out of the bay (opportunity cost, pollution and inefficiency caused by using bridges instead of what could have been roads/highways or mass/rapid transit going straight across, greater area for housing and business development, the bay being a lousy area for wildlife anyway (fucking environmentalists, fuck them!), this would more than have justified it, but of course people are fucking retarded and don't think like economists/rationalists) so you could have a rapid route straight to Berkeley, particularly UC Berkeley, as well, maybe a bit of Emeryville and downtown Oakland too.
As opposed to being in some boring fucking suburb people choose for their children, because they think it's a good environment for them, a good "family environment", school district often heavily factoring into it. Pair up and team off. There are so many problems with the idea of having children, I'm an avowed anti-natalist and would not have biological children simply on this principle, I truly believe it is immoral and would be willing to sacrifice any joy, the experience, any advantages of the natural process (Filthy and animalistic and mainly for the women, the fucking women!).
And this is a major of the reason why people pair up and team off, then have children. People generally like having life around them. Remember, only 6% or unmarried women in their 40s don't have children, so don't think it can't happen to you. If you genuinely don't want them you're going to have a hard time finding someone compatible, a rationalist female, because there are immense on average differences and strong biological drives. The concept of the biological clock does have evidence supporting it, and even if she states she doesn't want them, for many women, educated/professional women, the urge becomes much stronger once they enter their 30s, particularly when they see their stupid fucking shithead friends popping them out, baby fever is in the air (phenomenon also supported by evidence), they form this idealized image and get hopped up on whatever the fuck neurotransmitters and hormones their filthy decrepit female bodies are pumping out to induce them to fulfill their biological imperative.
Even for introverts, I think the idea that there's a need to "recharge" after social activity is in part due to the people you spend time with (coworkers) generally not being the optimal people you would have chosen to associate with if you could have your choice, along with the ugliness of group dynamics, and the flaws of the places where people gather for social activities (Other people, people you don't choose, being there.). All these flaws accrue. There may also be deficits that contribute to this and can be ameliorated, such as sensory overload, deficits in social processing that are being compensated for, which could be described as being autistic traits, being closer to one end of the spectrum.
There are so many problems, grievances, I have with the idea of having children. It's a generic route that does not appeal to me and I want nothing to do with it. Jesus, just think of the whole process, you're bringing someone who had no need to exist into the world to fulfill your own selfish desires, the desire to be needed, to evoke emotions in you, give you something to nurture, there's the opportunity cause argument for immorality (resources and time could be devoted to others), the immense environmental impact (http://www.livescience.com/9701-save-planet-kids.html), and then these people have the gall to believe and claim they're good for engaging in nepotistic behavior and providing for someone that they brought into existence and are obligated to care for, they have the audacity to complain about work they made for themselves and often even rationalize forcing others to subsidize them (I'm not selfish for wanting to force you to subsidize my selfish decision, you're selfish for not wanting to do so.), as if they're doing the world a favor or even had the greater good in mind when they made that decision! No, raising some stupid child, going through that entire dull process and having your brain go haywire, literally being significantly modified and your levels and responses of neurotransmitters, endorphins, and hormones altered so that you go into lala land engage in a wide variety of cognitive biases shaped and augmented by societal pressures to form a completely inaccurate view of the experience, does not appeal to me. Devoting my life to raising someone else does not appeal to me or seem ideal at all, in fact, the basic and repetitive processes are boring as fuck; although I fully understand the feelings of love and nurture, that due to our biological makeup it is a unique experience that like won't quite be matched by anything else. For those who ask about whether you'll regret it, you're missing out on something either way. If you're bored you're boring, and the reality is that most people don't have what it takes, don't have the drive, intelligence, and imagination to develop fulfilling lives without going through the conventional route. Ideally many of the things that people enjoy about children could be done with a romantic partner if you were willing to find a rare one sufficiently compatible, who has achieved a level of personal development and has the traits that have allowed them to arrive at the same conclusions as you, or are willing to listen to reason as opposed to emotional arguments driven by subconscious/biological desires which they simply attempt to rationalize.
I was so unwilling to accept the flaws of human life, my disdain for biological reality, that I isolated myself for over a decade until I reconsidered my views and accepted it was unsustainable, but here I draw the line. I am not playing this game. I will not compete for social status and women, pair up, team off, and retreat into the comfort of an immoral family creative to fulfill biological needs. If society is unacceptable, create your own beautiful bubble: http://econlog.econlib.org/archives/2012/03/my_beautiful_bu.htmlWhy put so much distance between myself and the outside world? Because despite my legendary optimism, I find my society unacceptable. It is dreary, insipid, ugly, boring, wrong, and wicked. Trying to reform it is largely futile; as the Smiths tell us, "The world won't listen." Instead, I pursue the strategy that actually works: Making my small corner of the world beautiful in my eyes. If you ever meet my children or see my office, you'll know what I mean.
I'm hardly autarchic. I import almost everything I consume from the outside world. Indeed, I frequently leave the security of my Bubble to walk the earth. But I do so as a tourist. Like a truffle pig, I hunt for the best that "my" society has to offer. I partake. Then I go back to my Bubble and tell myself, "America's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there."
http://econlog.econlib.org/archives/2013/04/make_your_own_b.html
It's possible I've just been alone for so long, I'm depressed and miserable and am no longer able to enjoy solitude as healthy people can, that I've had enough of being alone for a lifetime, and this is what it's led me to fantasize about, but, no, it seems reasonable. The diseases of modern civilization and why modern man will always suffer to some extent, the mismatch between the radically different environment of the modern era and the one we evolved for.
http://theviewfromhell.blogspot.com/2011/05/maslow-be-damned-how-social-belonging.htmlRochat provides a glimpse of the alternative to our modern experience of daily social ostracism and consequent social pain: small village organization. Of course, this is not a real alternative; it is not possible for our enormous, complex modern society to operate in this way. Most of us would not even wish to live in this way, with its concomitant social control and extreme conservatism. I certainly would not. But it demonstrates that we are adapted to something very different than the environment in which we live. And this necessary mismatch - which, in fact, defines us as moderns - ensures that we will all suffer, and make each other suffer, interminably.
Create a new alternative for the tribe and finally. Spit in the face of biology and society. This is the superior path. It reminds me of reading about Marx's circle of philosophers and whoever else was in it. Ah, here it is: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die_Freien
So, yes, one of my life goals is to essentially build a clubhouse so I can stop feeling so alone. If it ever occurs, you're welcome to be a part of it. -
2016-02-15 at 7:09 AM UTC
Create a new alternative for the tribe and finally. Spit in the face of biology and society. This is the superior path. It reminds me of reading about Marx's circle of philosophers and whoever else was in it. Ah, here it is: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die_Freien
Lol, I didn't realize Max Stirner and Marx hung out. I knew they were contemporaries but not that they had ever met.Lanny, imagine this. And, hey, I read every one of your lengthy drunken/methed up rants and have no problem getting through it, even in my state, if you have a problem reading through this at an acceptable rate you need to work on your reading speed and ability to sustain attention. Now, there would still be the issue of whether this is worth reading (boring) or irrelevant to you, but the same is true from me to you: You eventually become well off enough to be able to afford a nice size home in a good neighborhood where many of your friends live, or can at least access rapidly enough. You've set it up with a banquet table, open kitchen, and nice recreation area (video games, other items for social events/group activities, drug/alcohol bar). Due to not having children, family, or a wife, or if you have a wife you've found someone who is similar to you, has similar traits, worldview, ideals, and is open to the following idea, and you're still able to have an area you can retreat to when you desire privacy. This region is always open at any time for whoever you've selected to use, let's say using a fingerprint system for safety. Fears of theft would be unfounded if you had selected high quality people in a good neighborhood, educated, lack of financial problems, and not having sociopathic or kleptomaniacal traits or some other form of mental illness/instability that would be cause for concern (mean world syndrome, cognitive biases, risks generally being greatly overestimated, particularly by women, especially those with children, on average). Considering the quality of the average person, even above average, which, using IQ as a proxy, would simply be anyone over 100, a low bar, even the average college graduate, I wouldn't blame the majority of people for not being open to this idea, for their concerns. God, particularly for the lower classes, those poor fools, this would never work for them and the people they have available. But were elitist here, we only want the best.
Wait, so I was with you for the "read my post" part, and then it went into me fanfic (which sounds pretty cool but I don't know what it has to do with anything) and then it's women and the proles are inhuman fools? I'm kinda confused. Like I get each point individually, but I'm failing to see the relationship.*Only a tiny fraction, Buddhist monks/hermits, members of other religions consumed by some ecstatic rapture, usually described as a feeling of connection or oneness to god, or a feeling of deep meaning or love mediated by some icon in their fables, most likely due to mental illness, but, hey, let's be honest, genuinely being able to believe something of that nature could make you genuinely blissful. I suppose you would then question whether it would be worth deluding yourself. Even then, Buddhism would be a better path and it wouldn't require isolation. As to the concept you've brought up before of being able to choose your own mental state, there's still an underlying biological framework, we evolved so that certain things make us happy, and there are still going to be limitations, channels you're essentially following. Even if you were pushing a boulder up a hill, you'd have to convince yourself and truly believe there was some deeper meaning to it, that it was amounting to something, contributing to the advancement of the human race, the joy/well being/utility of others; and this would essentially be a delusion, and it's questionable whether everyone would have the capacity for it, then you'd have to decide why you would even want to, and whether you could do so without essentially going mad, which would bring a host of other problems.
So the pleasure/reality tradeoff is always going to be a point of tension but it comes back to the "useful lie" situation I mentioned earlier. I think we can agree, at least on an intellectual level, that there is no transcending human subjectivity. There may well be an external world that closely fits our mental models but it's still incoherent to talk about an objective experience. The only things we'll ever have direct interaction with are our experiences. That's pretty much the gist of what defines an empiricist (interesting since it's almost opposite to the usage of "empirical" as a synonym for "science stuff"). Given that, so long as delusion or mental illness or any other functioning of the mind does not cause meaningfully harmful state-change in whatever level of external world we want to suppose, we can find no reason to find fault with it. If my subjective experience is of being a maniacal tyrant taking immense pleasure from the suffering of others but my objective actions, for some reason or another, are of a doctor or a great writer or inventor then how can we say that discongruency between reality and mental experience is wrong, or undesirable?
Of course there's the question of what our power to cultivate those acceptable deviations between experience and biologically implied value judgments are (and I'd argue there's a long history of this being something within the reach of the everyman, not prescribing any particular lifestyle) but if you put that aside you should realize there's no rational objection to be had. Since Socrates we've been carrying the albatross of The Truth around our collective cultural necks, and the truth is important, but conflating it with goodness has been a bane upon our people. Socrates was a man so concerned with the truth, with shoving it in other peoples faces, he managed to get himself democratically voted to die. The Apology may be a seminal work even now but it didn't convince many Athenians and while foundational I don't think it convinces many moderns either. The stoics on the other hand, they didn't have anyone go get crucified for their ideals before that was the cool thing to do but sometimes I think in a few generations of, as far as we can tell, genuinely happy human beings, not through ignorance but willful happiness, may have been a better thing that anything philosophy jesus ever gave us.So, wouldn't that seem ideal? Like, imagine this by your university, so you could draw in your favorite professors and students, just seek out people to abduct into your inner circle, which is even easier when you have someone with you. Ideally they would filled the hell out of the bay (opportunity cost, pollution and inefficiency caused by using bridges instead of what could have been roads/highways or mass/rapid transit going straight across, greater area for housing and business development, the bay being a lousy area for wildlife anyway (fucking environmentalists, fuck them!), this would more than have justified it, but of course people are fucking retarded and don't think like economists/rationalists) so you could have a rapid route straight to Berkeley, particularly UC Berkeley, as well, maybe a bit of Emeryville and downtown Oakland too.
As opposed to being in some boring fucking suburb people choose for their children, because they think it's a good environment for them, a good "family environment", school district often heavily factoring into it. Pair up and team off. There are so many problems with the idea of having children, I'm an avowed anti-natalist and would not have biological children simply on this principle, I truly believe it is immoral and would be willing to sacrifice any joy, the experience, any advantages of the natural process (Filthy and animalistic and mainly for the women, the fucking women!).
So are you hyping the suburbs or not? Either way, I'm happy to pay the toll for urban living as long as it stays the same. And when it gets ruined there's always Portland, or Seattle, or whatever other city becomes a hub for the things that make SF appealing. I do think the "work in the city, live in the suburbs" lifestyle is kinda harmful. I don't think I'll ever have a kid (posted about the subjective reasons for this before but it felt incoherent, ultimately I'm not an antinatalist but I am a eugenicist. More of me is not what I'd like to see in the world) but if I did I'd send them to school in the city. If I'm going to be in a place, live there, make my living there, it would seem disingenuous to act like it's not good enough for children. If I make money somewhere and I fail to ensure its habitability, or my government fails to extract the resources from me to do the same, then there's a deeper problem that divestment is only going to pass onto someone more poorly equipped to deal with it.Remember, only 6% or unmarried women in their 40s don't have children, so don't think it can't happen to you. If you genuinely don't want them you're going to have a hard time finding someone compatible, a rationalist female, because there are immense on average differences and strong biological drives.
And tremendously lower numbers of women were in the workplace 50 years ago. Someone then could have said "women have such strong biological drives to stay out of the workplace that they'll never be significantly represented there" and they would have been dead wrong. Yes biological pressures exist that affect our behavior but so do social pressures, the latter of which is amenable to intra-generational and human driven change. It is also empirically more powerful since we can find all sorts of divergences between biological drives and social drives wherein humans largely conform to the social model. Tabla rasa or no, human history is a history of curbing ("sublimating") our natural inclinations.There are so many problems, grievances, I have with the idea of having children. It's a generic route that does not appeal to me and I want nothing to do with it. Jesus, just think of the whole process, you're bringing someone who had no need to exist into the world to fulfill your own selfish desires, the desire to be needed, to evoke emotions in you, give you something to nurture, there's the opportunity cause argument for immorality
Do you actually believe that? All of our ideas evolve with time of course, but last I remember you thought morality just didn't fly, looked at the is/ought gap and sat down with the conclusion that there was nothing more to be said. Has that changed?http://econlog.econlib.org/archives/...utiful_bu.html
Bleh, I don't know if I should pity the author for being such a profoundly broken human being or hate him for being so inauthentic. I don't know Bryan Caplan from a hole in the ground and have no idea what he did to consider himself "elite" but even putting aside the issue of how one proposes to elevate their situation without incurring infrastructural debt to the system that assigns them their wealth there's still no logic to connects "I have material resources to isolate myself" to "I'm going to blind myself to the condition of other human beings". And the tacit implication that being disadvantaged somehow entails greater responsibility to the community is not only absurd but frankly disgusting.
"America's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there"
I always assume the right's chest beating over "making place great again" is disingenuous rhetoric but thinking about this I really hope people really are deluded enough to believe that. Because the alternative, "place is broken, not my problem" is tantamount to malice. -
2016-02-15 at 7:39 AM UTCThat's not really what I wanted feedback on, philoso-autist.
What do you think about my "clubhouse" idea? In general and a strategy to attain maximum happiness and well being as an adult. Any problems you'd foresee?
Well, to begin with, I'd have to actually develop a personality first. Go from extreme isolated and undeveloped ultra-aspie with the IRL personality of cardboard, a non-personality, to having some level of charisma and vivaciousness. It seems just being unafraid to say what's on my mind, be forthright about my extremely controversial and unorthodox viewpoints, has been enough to receive surprisingly a surprisingly positive reception in the past, during what little social interaction I've had. Then there's the issue of whether other people would actually be willing to show up, which is what really worries me. I do not have much faith in human beings, even among the better men.
Also, I just took a sip of some of the leftover GHB-cohol I had left sitting over for months. No idea if it's safe to drink, what could have gone on after leaving it stagnant for so long. The reason I didn't finish it is because it developed an incredibly funky taste and smell, although surprisingly it didn't make me sick or give me a stomachache after drinking it prior to this. I did heat it to the point where harmful bacteria would be killed, but some types of bacteria and yeast are capable of producing toxic metabolites, so it's still a gamble. The taste definitely seems stronger and more alcoholic, but what I really wonder is whether the longer fermentation time produced more GHB. Before losing interest I had done more research and came to the conclusion that bottom fermenting brewing yeast, I think ale may have been the best choice, which ferments for much longer and at lower temperatures, was the optimal choice for this and could make a large difference in the quantity of GHB produced.
No idea what's going to happen. I only took a small amount because a GHB overdose can kill or at least KO you and I don't know how much, if any, it may contain.
