2019-08-17 at 6:33 AM UTC
I listened to a song that included the lyrics "time to roll your D20" and I rolled a D20, and I got 20. What are the fucking odds? I mean, you could probably calculate the odds scientifically, but I rolled that fucking die as randomly as possible. I have like 6 D20s, and I randomly selected this one. Even if it's weighted unevenly, I chose it at random. The odds that it would roll a 20 on a D20 twice in a row in tune to a song, hours apart, seems slim.
What the fuck is this reality?
2019-08-17 at 6:34 AM UTC
But what am I supposed to do with this? Whatever I want? I crit'd life twice with dice rolls? Why isn't this a religion yet? Fuck trianglism, I'm all about dice-ism.
2019-08-17 at 6:36 AM UTC
I feel like a mage. I feel like I instigated synchronicity for the first time. And I don't know what the consequences of that will be. I feel like it doesn't come freely. Will I suffer for this?
2019-08-17 at 6:37 AM UTC
"Will I suffer for this?"
If I'll suffer for this, do I have the power to change that fate? What does any of this mean? Am I fucking schizo?
2019-08-17 at 6:38 AM UTC
I mean if I don't want to suffer I feel like I can ensure I don't suffer, but that also feels like hubris and I recognize that I'm not all-powerful and that if I am to be made to suffer I can be - to degrees that are incomprehensible to me in this life.
2019-08-17 at 6:42 AM UTC
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2019-08-17 at 6:42 AM UTC
My entire existence kind of revolves around magick, and I don't fully understand it. It's sickening. I don't know what or who is in control. I don't know what authority I have over it, only that I reckognize it, and that perhaps that sets me apart. And I'm not even sure if it does, or if everyone else recognizes it and is merely bored of it and doesn't mention it/refuses to discuss it. I don't know what "this" is. And I don't know what that "this" even is, really. Fuck me.
Ugh. I can't fucking deal with it. Or I can, I mean it'd be a lie to say I can't. I have no choice but to deal with whatever the fuck this way of thinking is. But it's disturbing. And probably insignificant, yet it feels so overwhelmingly significant. I'm certain this is a mental illness or personality disorder of some type, but I don't know which and I can't diagnose myself, and I'm normally too sober to express myself like this to a doctor so I'll probably never know. haha
2019-08-17 at 6:46 AM UTC
*sigh*
How about I reveal some post-nudist trust by touching your temples and revealing the Truth of the universe to you, fona. Because as gibberish as that sentence is, it sounds more real than taking a picture of my tranny tits.
honk
i'm losing it
2019-08-17 at 6:51 AM UTC
Fonaplats
victim of incest
[daylong jump-start that nome]
Originally posted by HTS
*sigh*
How about I reveal some post-nudist trust by touching your temples and revealing the Truth of the universe to you, fona. Because as gibberish as that sentence is, it sounds more real than taking a picture of my tranny tits.
honk
i'm losing it
If you can't bare them to us then who ever could you trust?
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2019-08-17 at 6:58 AM UTC
Fonaplats
victim of incest
[daylong jump-start that nome]
If you mix anti-freeze in some Gatorade you can solve this.
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2019-08-17 at 6:58 AM UTC
Fonaplats
victim of incest
[daylong jump-start that nome]
and by this I mean schron.
2019-08-17 at 7:09 AM UTC
Fonaplats
victim of incest
[daylong jump-start that nome]
"GET THE SHIT OFF YOUR DICK AND CONTROL YOURSELF!"
2019-08-17 at 7:17 AM UTC
I suppose I should just laugh about it. I mean I literally can't do anything about it and it feels like I have control sometimes but I think that's just part of the joke so like what is even the point haha.
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