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Halp! eating gabapentin like candy, can't sleep (going on 2 days) in severe WD

  1. #41
    hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Oh yeah! Pain is GONE! Feel fucked in the head though from all the gabapentin, topiramate, soma, and propranolol I took in huge, ungodly quantities. Laying in my friend's very comfortable bed (which has memory foam, my favorite!) made a very minor difference, but it helped make the pain not so sharp (I do have nerve pain I've suffered with, along with my back injury since 16 and just picked up more shit along my journey of life), and since he's not gonna be home for a few days and told me I could anyway, I'm gonna be crashing here to recoup.

    Thank you guys for all your advice and just... IDK, being there to distract with. That helped a bit too. In withdrawal not much really helps, it's all just a distraction when it's boiled down, but I will take your advice and try to acquire the drugs you suggested in the event this happens again.

    PlumpKatt, my heart goes out to you. It's a shame we live in such a world where people suffer as they do, where drugs are demonized, where users are labeled and treated like trash, where the government has no empathy nor care people. I don't know why you used, but I'll tell you why I use- I use because I suffered a bad injury at 16, and pain medication allowed me to continue living my life. As I got older, more injuries, and other health issues cropped up for me. I was on hydrocodone for several years. I ended up getting off it because I had a dog I loved very much, a dog who was very special to me. It began with a pill here and there when his arthritis was bad, but it grew to the point where I had to wean myself off to give him my script. Toward the end, it was very hard. He could barely walk and I was buying pills on the street to give him more and more, even morphine in the last 2 months of his life. (Funny thing is, these guys I bought from didn't believe I was buying for my dog at first, but I ended up introducing them to him, and they started giving me better deals since it was for my dog lol). So from there, it got to the point I couldn't work like I was. I had days that weren't so bad, but a lot more days that were, and this was far, far away from any withdrawal, this simply was related to my nerve, and back pain. I stuck with my doctor up until it was time to put my dearly beloved dog down. The medicine I gave him gave that dog a good 2 years of quality life he otherwise wouldn't of had. I am capable of sacrificing my medicine for the benefit of the people I love feeling better... just ask §m£ÂgØL. He may shit talk me, he may hate me, but he would be a liar if he said I wouldn't give any of my shit to help him or anyone I love and care about.. even my friends, and co-workers, with some things. Even now, the elderly man I live with who is currently hospitalized, I share my T-PAIN with. I ended up chipping with dilaudid back when my dad was cut cold turkey from his doctor (he was a poster child for a person who needed pain meds, he had so much shit wrong with him, and had been very productive working and as a father to me (best dad in the world, no joke, he did everything for me, and was always there despite working so much, I don't know how he did it, but I do believe the drugs he got helped in that a lot for him to be there despite his pain and the long hours and physically intensive work with long hours coupled with chronic pain), and I was very depressed, in pain myself and well... I bonded with my dad with shooting dilaudid. For about a year or so, I was bouncing from shooting, getting shit done, working my ass off, ad having a great time, then going through withdrawals for a week- it was worth it to me, even now looking back, I don't regret it, but I do regret somethings that happened around then related. I was off for a while, very... useless. Started a job when I began using morphine when my dealer came across a source.. then right at the right moment, I finally decided to give tianpetine a chance (Thank you, Malice. You have no idea how grateful I am to you for that) and it saved my life. Been using for years now. My tolerance has grown quite a bit. It's very short acting, like dilaudid, so requires multiple dosings a day. Point is, I've been using opiates for pain. I never would have touched them if I haven't had serious and legitimate pain- yeah, yeah, people always are gonna say, every user uses pain as an excuse, but fuck... I hate being like this and if I could just kick it, I would, but if I do, my life will be just as unlivable as being in WD. My WD is probably so bad for me because of the chronic pain issues I have. In the time I was clean, I'd have days, even weeks I just couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't move, I'd lay there near, or in tears. The good days would be spent depressed and sometimes trying to do a little bit, hoping shit wouldn;t come back bad again, but it always would. y pain is documented. My health issues are documented. I have was prescribed pain meds for years and years. (Couldnt afford after a while, so I stopped going) I'm not a fraud, and using pain as an excuse for using opiates.

    Having said that, I am a firm believer that people who use drugs, are using drugs because something is wrong mentally or physically. No healthy human being is going to go trying to alter their brain chemistry if everything is hunky dory in their life and they are happy. People sometimes use the wrong drugs, take too much, act retarded, but ultimately, they do it because something is seriously wrong and they need help. I personally have only ever nodded out a handful of times in my life (either accidental a few or when I experienced an injury and really, really needed the pain to stop right then and there and sleeping was something I was very okay with atm- normally, I want to function, be able to drive, work and be conscious and able to deal with life, that's the point for me to event take opiates) and I think most people really just want that too, but don't know how to accomplish it or rid themselves of the pain or depression so fall into the pattern of abuse/misuse of doing stupid shit with drugs. I believe drugs should ALL be legalized, and education should be emphasized, along with the stigmas of mental health problems being dropped. I think you'd see a decrease in the abuse in drugs if education not just on drugs but on health was taken as an approach. You can't win a war on drugs anyway, people will always get what they want, no matter what penalty is threatened, and all it does it hurt the nation as a whole, and weakens families and the work force. I have zero sympathy for idiots who overdose/die taking pills. They know the dosage, and should know how much to take if they do the bare minimum of research/don't try to be "look how cool I am/How much I can take! aren't I a badass!", with heroin, and other drugs where you can find cuts, that's another story, and another reason we need to have legalization of drugs and ease of access to them. I am serious about finding a source from china/some asian country to get this shit in bulk so I don't have to deal with this shit, nor the worry that comes with it like I have been doing.

    If anyone knows a good, reputable source that I can obtain bulk T-PAIN from, please PM me.
  2. #42
    Learn to make it yourself.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #43
    hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Dude, has anyone here really ever played to doctor game? I don't care if you have legit medical reasons, or not, it's a game. It's a fucking play of bullshit, and doctors terrified of the DEA. Now, this generation of doctors is even being brainwashed into demonizing opiates, and not taking any seriousness to chronic pain patients (they must be all crazy, right?)

    I've dealt with doctors. I've jumped through hoops, dealt with their bullshit. I used to have a script for 10mg hydrocodone(90ct), 10mg percocet (90ct), 50mg tramadol (90ct) 90 somas, 90 xanax and a bunch of other shit for 6 years of my life starting when I was 16 years old. I made good money, could afford a decent doctor back then. At the time doctors were JUST beginning to be threatened and persecuted by the DEA, and you know... it was stressful and degrading thing to go through every fucking month. One time, when I finally got insurance, toward the end of my prescribed period, I got accused and damn near interogated by the nurse and doctor calling me liars, swearing I HAD to be 'doctor shopping', because something came up with my insurance weird, and come to find out, after the secretary called, it was due to a test they sent me for the month before. For an HOUR, they had someone in chronic pain, with an anxiety disorder in tears being threatened and verbally abused. All, I got was "yeah, well... people do that you know." Not a "sorry", not a "We were in the wrong", fuck, they couldn't even wait to hear back from my insurance before going off the rail on me, who had done absolutely NOTHING wrong. A month later, my doctor said he had to cut me back on my opiates because of "insurance"... da fuk? why is insurance getting involved in what I medically need to live a productive life? For fucks sake, I even had to pay out of pocket to fill the scripts! As soon as I cancelled my insurance, he was happy to up my scripts again. I ended up saying fuck it to the fucking shit.

    What ya'll don't realize is, is that our medical field is ruled by the almighty dollar, nor to help people, not to make their lives functional. They don't care about people being happy, or well, they don't WANT people to be happy or well, because it would then fuck up their money generating scheme. Doctors don't want to help people, they want to make money and not go to jail or be investigated by the DEA. The DEA doesn't want people to be happy, or find pain relief, because again, that would undermine the pharmaceutical industry with all their new drugs, and the medical industry, who makes huge profits on doing surgery on people that often have failure, or need more surgery later down the road, and leaves people often times in more pain than they initially were.

    You might say I am an awful person. You really don't know me. I'm probably one of the nicest, kindest, generous people you'll ever meet. Am I fucked up? Sure thing, that I am. Have I done terrible things? Certainly, and I have a great deal of remorse and regret over those things. I strive to be the best person I can be in this life, and I've gone through valleys and sat on mountain tops along the way, and I'm sure I'll see more to come of each. I don't try to pretend to be something I am not. I am who I am, love me or hate me, it really doesn't matter. If you knew me in real life, I doubt you'd say what you do about me here on the forums. I don't use, nor take advantage of people. I don't steal. I've been one always to give. I never sold drugs, most the shit I was written, I'd fucking give away to friends when they needed it if I didn't take it. I even got off my percs/hydrocodone for my dog who was suffering pain so he could have them instead. I am honest to a fault, and empathetic as they come. I can't stand to see people in pain, and often, I share my drugs with others who are likewise suffering in pain. I've been the girl who knows my co-worker is suffering a migraine, and pull out a couple firocet to give to them. Just this year, while in the hospital, I got written a script of percocets, and instead of taking them myself, or even selling them, I gave the whole script to another co-worker, all 30 of them, to do a nice thing since she was suffering in WD from her doctor suddenly taking her off suboxone after popping for pot on her last drug test. It made me feel so good to be able to help someone like that. She would have lost her job, and was pulling all her money to find ANYTHING to help her so she could go to work, she even offered me money, and was shocked that it was a gift. I do things like that, and take great pleasure in doing them because I want to see the world be a better place, where people care about one another, are more empathetic to others pain and struggles, because if people were, it would be a much nicer place to be living in. I only ask people to do one thing, to pass it on. If I help someone, don't try to pay me back, pay it forward, because I know, and it has so often come to pass, where those due paid forward in turn has come back to help me. So, if you think I am an awful person... I don't know, yes, I certainly have done awful things, but I have likewise done redeeming things, exceptionally good things in my life too, and more often than not, I do the right thing, the good thing, because that's what I want to see in their world more than anything- kindness, love, and people caring about other people.

  4. #44
    Originally posted by Sir slappy the sea turtle Shes the terrible person lmao have you read her posts

    I have no idea who she is, but I don't think I'll be reading those walls anytime soon.
  5. #45
    Hydromorphone are you on meth?
  6. #46
    hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump Learn to make it yourself.

    Dude, looking into it. Anyone with any advice, because all I'm coming across is shit for sulfate. Hit yo nigga up if you got some advice/resources in this department.
  7. #47
    hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Originally posted by Discount Whore Hydromorphone are you on meth?

    Nope, haven't touched meth in a long, long time (years).
  8. #48
    bitch
  9. #49
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    I should add a "add to instapaper" link so I could save the great wall of opiate-posting on the bus or something.
  10. #50
    Don't depend on the system, doctors, hospitals for drugs. You are right its all about profit.

    This is a new year.. Syncans and tianapine need to be made in america or imported in the next few months.

    Its time to end the bullshit forever but the only way that's ever gonna happen is if we work hard. I was born to source, so source I shall.
  11. #51
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Discount Whore Hydromorphone are you on meth?

    She just has one hell of a mouth on her. No wonder literally every member of her family either died or left her. I can only imagine the hell they must have gone through.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #52
    Originally posted by Malice She just has one hell of a mouth on her. No wonder literally every member of her family either died or left her. I can only imagine the hell they must have gone through.

    What the fuck is wrong with you?
  13. #53
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Discount Whore What the fuck is wrong with you?

    Bitch, who you talkin' to?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  14. #54
    Originally posted by Malice Bitch, who you talkin' to?

    i've discovered you have a soft side recently

    it's kind of cute tbh

  15. #55
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by the holy ghost i've discovered you have a soft side recently

    it's kind of cute tbh

    Fucking homo! Don't you dare sully my sacred marijuana state with your befouled tongue.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  16. #56
    Originally posted by Malice Bitch, who you talkin' to?

    Did I fucking udder?
  17. #57
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Discount Whore Did I fucking udder?

    *squeezes tits*

    You udder.
  18. #58
    Originally posted by Malice *squeezes tits*

    You udder.

  19. #59
    She's more badass than anyone else in this thread.
  20. #60
    https://T-PAINstore.com/

    They used to be EU based but moved to the US. I was in contact with the owner and he seemed like a good guy. I just have to figure out where to get my TPAIN now as conveniently. I should email them again.
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