2019-06-25 at 11:29 PM UTC
29 years old and the past 8 have been a drugged up, STD ridden, hate and regret filled mess.
I often look at people, listen to what they have achieved and imagined what I was doing at that point, or even where I would be if I was younger. I need to be living "in the here and now", otherwise I'll be thinking this same dumb shit in 8 years time looking down a barrel and be more regretful
I don't want merit or fame. I just want a semblance of normality, of contentment. Instead I'm left feeling disillusioned, fed up. I need a new outlet. All my friends and aasociates are all settling down having kids, I feel like I'm still out there, lost per se.
God if there are aliens, just please fucking abduct and take me away from this shit hole.
That would be sweet.
I'll find myself, eventually.
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2019-06-25 at 11:32 PM UTC
Same here, except mine is more of a dissatisfaction with the fact that perception of truth matters more than actual truth on this planet
Best of luck OP
2019-06-25 at 11:42 PM UTC
honestly tho op my life is still kinda fucked for the moment and i felt it had no meaning for a while but the meaning has gradually started to build as i started making plans for the future, exercising and eating healthier, and setting aside at least a little time for healthy, sober activities. the habits i had while fucked up were like probably just as self destructive as the drugs themselves and they cause depression, so i try to spend very little or no time doing those things now. idk how similar your use is to mine so idk how much it will help you but that's just how i feel
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2019-06-25 at 11:49 PM UTC
Maybe we would should accept things how they are. I mean change won't happen unless we really want it to? We'll moan, build hope then lose faith when we give up, then moan again. Unless we WANT it, nothing will come of it.
I don't care what others think unless it really matters. I'm not a "like whore", nor do I post frequently on FB to the annoyance of my fake societal friends. I've unfollowed so many people on FB it's unreal. The more cringe like hungry posts I see makes me lose more and more respect for humanity, and only fuels my misanthropy.
Maybe I just need self sustainability, away from the rat race, far away from materialism and fakeness; somewhere I can be one with nature and live like a real human. Free of corruption, fast food and drugs. Had man lived like this there would be no expectations, no disappoinment, only the will to survive and appreciate the little things.
Regardless, self improvements are coming.
2019-06-25 at 11:51 PM UTC
mashlehash
victim of incest
[my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
HEY OCTAVIAN: SHUT THE FUCK UP
2019-06-25 at 11:51 PM UTC
I got off the drugs, became healthy, excise a lot, commit a lot of crimes, blow the money on good living, and here I am years later, feeling great.
Satisfaction isn't always following what everyone else does.
Look deep down inside and find yourself. Don't be afraid.
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2019-06-26 at 12:03 AM UTC
"Accept what was, know what is; & have faith in what will be" ?
Good quote. On a spiritual level I still have some faith, I pray to St Jude and what I've asked for has been answered, be it coincidence or not. I've never set myself unrealistic goals either.
It's time for serious changes, albeit our body HATES this, being use to routine and our usual wants granted; it's time to do the opposite but only if the outcome is postive. I.e. wear a fucking condom. Meal/ exercise plan.
I'll hate the sacrifices I'll have to make, but it'll be worth it in the long run.
2019-06-26 at 12:06 AM UTC
Originally posted by Octavian
"Accept what was, know what is; & have faith in what will be" ?
Good quote. On a spiritual level I still have some faith, I pray to St Jude and what I've asked for has been answered, be it coincidence or not. I've never set myself unrealistic goals either.
It's time for serious changes, albeit our body HATES this, being use to routine and our usual wants granted; it's time to do the opposite but only if the outcome is postive. I.e. wear a fucking condom. Meal/ exercise plan.
I'll hate each and everyone of these but it'll be worth it.
think of developing new habits and ways of living as just catalysts to induce the neuroplasticity that will inevitably lead you to a new and not stagnant and therefore better situation.
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2019-06-26 at 12:10 AM UTC
Pain is a good motivator for change. I mean granted I always think back and ask myself what if things were different?
I've been hung out to dry a little over a month ago. Drinking all the time passively wishing my life will end. But then I got a way out and an offer I couldn't refuse. Now I'm starting a career. I'm not hungry anymore.
2019-06-26 at 12:16 AM UTC
get a preteen girlfriend.
theres nothing more motivating and fulfilling in life than watching your little girlfriend grow amd guiding and grooming them into the kind of person you wish and want them to be.
and of course this is not to say sex is mandatory, you dont have to sex her if you dont want to, simple cuddling is and can be equally as blissful.
