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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2015-11-28 at 8:35 PM UTCI think honestly the problem is in the food industry more than anywhere else. I dont think we should be using them in commercial feed lots evwn if it means higher price for beef and chicken. Passing regulations on that shouldnt effect the backyard farmer who honestly is only going to use antibiotics on an as needed basis. In areas like mine where its near impossible to find a cow vet (the one my friend had worked at major dairys all over the state and often just called her in shit over the phone for shit thst was rx only because he was so busy) and when you can find a vet, they charge out the ass. We all know where the bulk of the problem is and it would be easier to regulate them without punishing people likeBlah and me. When I said 'deal with the consquences' I wasnt meaning antibiotics, you have an argument there but lile I said above.Im talking other drugs like opiates. If a nigger is stupid enough to snort 5 oxycontin 160 and dies well.. he know what the fuck he was doing or should have. Im not saying there should be nodrug regulation, a personshouldknow waht they are buy is infact that and with reason (within its own chemical make up) safe. People die all the time from not knowing the purity or it being cut with god knows what. Thats the danger of street drugs especially opiates. If I can go to the pharm and buy my shit I know what I am buying X at X strength. If I take toomuch well, thats my own stupidity and nobody should suffer but me. Its like a hold harmless agreement with horses. I sign it to waive the right that ifI get hurt on your horse 'due to the nature of riding and umpredicability of horses in general' that I cant sue for damages, but if you stick me on an animal you know is dangerous or have faulty equipment and I get hurt, that waiver is useless to protect you (FL law here, alot of states are even more anal over it).
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2015-11-28 at 10:54 PM UTC
I think honestly the problem is in the food industry more than anywhere else. I dont think we should be using them in commercial feed lots evwn if it means higher price for beef and chicken.
I agree entirely, but I don't think that gives other offenders a pass. I mean we have confirmed cases of humans not responding to last-line antibiotics so we can't blame the situation entirely on large scale commercial farming.In areas like mine where its near impossible to find a cow vet (the one my friend had worked at major dairys all over the state and often just called her in shit over the phone for shit thst was rx only because he was so busy) and when you can find a vet, they charge out the ass.
That's unfortunate but you were the one who said higher meat costs are acceptable. If we have to centralize farming a bit I think it's worth it for the payoff, small scale farming really doesn't produce a tremendous portion of our meat.We all know where the bulk of the problem is and it would be easier to regulate them without punishing people likeBlah and me.
You yourself said doctors overprescribing antibiotics is an issue, people having access to them in the form of animal meds and shit could only possibly be a worse situation. You both implied you'd use animal meds if you couldn't get antibiotics from a doc which is a problem, even if you personally aren't going to abuse them you have to be able to say the same for everyone who every wanted antibiotics and can do a google search for this to not be a huge problem.Im talking other drugs like opiates. If a nigger is stupid enough to snort 5 oxycontin 160 and dies well.. he know what the fuck he was doing or should have. Im not saying there should be nodrug regulation, a personshouldknow waht they are buy is infact that and with reason (within its own chemical make up) safe. People die all the time from not knowing the purity or it being cut with god knows what. Thats the danger of street drugs especially opiates. If I can go to the pharm and buy my shit I know what I am buying X at X strength. If I take toomuch well, thats my own stupidity and nobody should suffer but me.
Well we still have to foot your medical bill, or the bill of someone who injures themself through abuse of a drug. I have a softer position here, admittedly, but sometimes big brother really does know better. Like you're going to say you have pain and am self medicating and maybe that's OK but if you can buy oxy or xanax OTC then evidence suggests we're going to see higher incidence of opiate addiction in short order, and no matter how much you like opiates (or maybe especially if you do) I think you'll agree a world with fewer people with dependence is better than the opposite. Like if you had to go to some shoddy back alley to get alcohol it really does seem like we'd see lower incidence of alcohol use. I'm not saying let's prohibit alcohol or even opiates, but I am saying that we should pick policy on consequences and there are a wide range of meds we can think of where there's tremendously minimal social utility gained from making the OTC weighed against minor to great risk. For any medication, making it a prescription drug should at least be on the table and decided on based on expected outcomes. -
2015-11-29 at 1:28 AM UTCBtw, Malice, have you ever heard anything about bacopa or melatonin "withdrawal" effects? Been away from home and the last several nights I've been having really atypical vivid dreams, kinda dark but not strictly nightmares, and waking up feeling really well rested after like 5 hours of sleep. Those are the only things I've been taking that have sleep related (side)effects and the only thing that's changed is I've stopped for a few days.
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2015-11-29 at 1:44 AM UTCLanny, firsted Id like to say, thank you for your argument. Ive been under an incredible amount of stress lately and youve offered me a small measure of a distraction with something I am passionate about. About the antibiotics. Honestly, IMO, how many people actually abuse antibiotics? Few if any. The people who use them stupidly (i.e. have a script and dont finish and later 'pop' one for a cold) are fuckimg ignorant of how antibiotics work. Weve created a society dependent on 'doctor knows best' but when he prescribes me say bactrim for a infected wound or other illness, unless he does a culture to deptermine what it is or just if its gram neg. Or pos. He is taking just as good a guess as Iam with determining the correct choice in antibiotics. I have NEVER had a doctor write me antibiotics after doing any of that. If the first one doesnt work, they write another. So that could determine if I use say bactrim which is a duel purpose or clydamycin which is good for is good for oneor the other (my.mind isnt working but I have this shit wrote down somewhere because I take antibiotics seriously- I believe its gram pos. Though). As for backyard farmers, I know this doesnt effect the major population but this effects poor people raising their own meat who unless indicated arent going to use antibiotics because first they cost more, second, they arent raising their animals under the same conditions as feed lots whichost the time, they wont need to use any at all. 10$ worth of antibiotics could save a family a years worth of meat though. Why shouldnt they have to be put under the gun as the big boys? First, they in general dont use them like the bigboys. Most back yarders are trying to raise their animalsas natural as possible to avoid meat tainted with antibiotics at the store. As for the drugs. Lookat portugal. They decriminalized and their hep c and hiv had gone WAAAY the fuck down and they at the time were really bad in terms of the cases of hep c in particular. I dont believe there would be more addiction. An addict will find a way if illegal or not and it costa us more interms of healthcare dealing with an addict lile isnow verses where they have access and affordability to clean needles and cheap drugs. Crime for one is another, sustaining an addiction paying $25 a pill for something that costs pennys at the pharmacy would cut the crime out. Portugal hasnt seen an increase in addiction. People are going to do what they are going to do, atleast allow them to doit safe as possible without a fucked up price jump to boot. my dad new many junkies who held jobs (manual labor where you get busted up from work. Your either ajunkie or an alcoholic because in this day in age getting a doctor to treat pain is like asking them tosuck your dick, it doesnt happen). I believe the access would also be reduced to the youth as well.a drug dealer doesnt care how old you are, but a pharmacist will. Also you wouldnt have all this cartel and gang violence that is fueled by drugs. I dont believe big brother knows best. I beliebe big brother wants tomake money bring srugs in, locking away our citizens, keeping themon probabtion and able to holdjobs due torugfelonies and incarcerations all in the name of lining the pockets of a select few and damning the rest.
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2015-11-29 at 5:59 AM UTCParenthood is deeply depressing in a way. The biological/evolutionary, animalistic, drive, how it brings out some of the ugliest and most irrational, emotion driven, aspects of humanity, in a way, the selfishness, how much time it occupies in people's lives, making them much less available to you, people who were close friends drifting away how it limits what they could do, have done, the cultural factor, how perceptions are skewed and taboo and cultural biases prevent people from speaking and even thinking honestly, objectively, about it, how it represents so much of the inadequacy in life when reality is compared to the ideal image.
Good article here: http://www.psmag.com/health-and-beha...us-happy-60392
The only group that seemed to receive a genuine net increase in happiness were those that were "child-centric". But, living your life for another, something that didn't need to exist, but was brought forth to satisfy your own selfish desires, particularly considering the simplicity of children and the activities involved, when there's so much to do in the world, needs for intellectual stimulation can be so much higher. I understand the joy of nurturing, of seeing something develop, of being needed and loved, having something look forward to you, give you reason to live beyond yourself, but to create something just for that. It seems like such a cowardly option, although, the reality is, most people are boring and can't be expected to aspire to much more. All that effort, why? I've thought, ideally, if you wanted to experience the benefits of nurturing and devoting yourself to another, wouldn't doing that with someone you truly loved be ideal? Helping each other develop? And fathers don't even spend that much time directly interacting with/focused on their children. IIIRC in the US the average is only around an hour a day, 20 minutes in Japan. The infant stage seems to generally be considered unpleasant, there's a theory that part of this may have purposefully evolved (prevent sex, secure greater parental resources), then there's such a relatively brief period where they're really at the prime for give people what they want, then they're nearing the teenage years and are more independent and distant. All that effort, that cost, and for what? I'd say there has to be more to life, but that isn't certain.
But then there's the other aspect, that even if you accept the flaws, it is a natural part of human life. Unfortunately people generally have predispositions and simply seek to confirm them, not giving fair appraisal to both sides. Normally it would occur for all fertile couples, without birth control. There's research on the physiological changes that occur, changes in the brain, hormones, profound psychological shifts. I suppose it, and the experience, could allow you to develop in ways that nothing else likely will. It's particularly sad for women, due to what they evolved to be, and how the desire is much more innate, a much more fundamental aspect of what subconsciously drives them.
One path excludes another. That's life, I suppose. A melancholy that never ends.
"Wake up. Snap out of it. Aspire to more. Engage in introspection, self-reflection, and strive to continually better yourself. Raise your level of awareness as high as you can. Refine your mental architecture and learn to adhere to strict rationality. See the world the way it is, not the way you want it to be. Strive to learn and accept the truth, whether you like it or not. Learn, question everything, give deep thought to things."
But what has it led to? Profound disillusionment, alienation, isolation, and depression. That's what happens when you attempt to live an inhuman life in a human body. You spent so much time inside your own head you completely missed out on life. Due to that, I can't really blame people any more for wanting the simple pleasures and comforts in life that allow you to forget the ugliness of the world and questions that don't bring satisfying answers.
Everything's so complex and interconnected and few really see this, think about it to such an extent. But you're still a limited being and there's only so much you can learn.Btw, Malice, have you ever heard anything about bacopa or melatonin "withdrawal" effects? Been away from home and the last several nights I've been having really atypical vivid dreams, kinda dark but not strictly nightmares, and waking up feeling really well rested after like 5 hours of sleep. Those are the only things I've been taking that have sleep related (side)effects and the only thing that's changed is I've stopped for a few days.
There likely will be some rebound effect, although being away from home and other things occurring in your life are strong confounders. There are multiple possibilities. You may be having lighter sleep, signaled by the dreams, and simply waking up during one of the lightest periods. I posted something about a smartphone app that determines when to wake you based on your sleep cycle so you wake up at the optimal point, feeling refreshed and not groggy. If this is not your natural optimal sleep length eventually the negative effects should accumulate. If you were taking bacopa too soon before bed or at too high a dose it would definitely have a detrimental effect on sleep quality, and this could simply be a rebound with your sleep architecture shifted to make up for this by greatly increasing the amount of time you spent in deep sleep stages. Melatonin can also definitely cause grogginess upon waking if you haven't slept at least a certain number of hours. -
2015-11-29 at 7:03 AM UTC
There likely will be some rebound effect, although being away from home and other things occurring in your life are strong confounders. There are multiple possibilities. You may be having lighter sleep, signaled by the dreams, and simply waking up during one of the lightest periods. I posted something about a smartphone app that determines when to wake you based on your sleep cycle so you wake up at the optimal point, feeling refreshed and not groggy. If this is not your natural optimal sleep length eventually the negative effects should accumulate. If you were taking bacopa too soon before bed or at too high a dose it would definitely have a detrimental effect on sleep quality, and this could simply be a rebound with your sleep architecture shifted to make up for this by greatly increasing the amount of time you spent in deep sleep stages. Melatonin can also definitely cause grogginess upon waking if you haven't slept at least a certain number of hours.
Seems reasonable. Dreams have been qualitatively quite different, feels significant but of course that means nothing. The most interesting quality (to me) is that it's the first time I can ever remember being surprised in the context of a dream. I don't know if it's just me or a common experience but there's a kind of event-intimacy in usual dreams, like because the flow of events is dictated by the mind what you think about is what's likely to happen (particularly noticeable in nightmares and dreams where you get the "moving through molasses" experience, expectations clearly shape the dream) and conversely you can't be surprised, what happens has to be a subject of thought, like you intuitively expect even the bizarre. Last couple nights though haven't felt like that, like I genuinely didn't expect what happened. In one I discovered my own corpse in a car, thought the dream up to that point had been some sort of afterlife and recast the whole thing in a different light, which kinda freaked me out for a little while after waking up. Oh well, whatever.
I've seen the app thing before, or something similar at least, it uses expected sleep phase durations right? Like it anticipates that if you fall asleep now you'll be in a REM phase in X hours for the least X greater than eight it wakes you up. Seems like variability in sleep phase length and time to sleep would be likely to throw it off, especially in my case since I can spend a while in bed before falling asleep. There are some products that would seem to offer better measures, I remember a headband that worked through pulse measurement and a "mat" you put under your sheet that detects your level of motion. Headband would seem to be the most reliable but I haven't read enough about the science behind it to want to give it a try. Would probably be a worthwhile investment if it worked, I could really do with feeling like I have these past few mornings all the time but I'm sure I'll be back at baseline pretty quick. -
2015-11-29 at 9:22 AM UTCI was guna bitch that the worst thing about winter is taking a shit and the seat being cold. Then I took a shit and it made my ass bleed a little and put my problems into perspective.
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2015-11-29 at 9:50 AM UTCI hate it when you have a memory and the ending is depressing. I remembered back to when I was 14 or so, and met up with some chick at like 5am to walk 3 miles to egg someones house. Long story short we didn't and went to church instead, lol. Fucking weird but funny in hindsight. Had communion or some shit, idk, we were given wine and bread. Anyway, the girls house we were guna egg, I remember she died or is braindead in a coma, this is going back 5, 6 years when we were 18 or so, I don't really know, but she was in a serious car accident, it hit me like "damn....". Funny how life goes. She was a nice girl, I was pretty good friends with her back then (despite the egging story, but I guess we repented).
I need to get out of here and back with people, I miss having people around. My only option is with a couple of good people but bad influences, but fuck it, right? -
2015-11-29 at 1:51 PM UTCI'm guna go get a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels. I've been dreaming about it the past couple of nights. The bottle's always just been out of reach or I've got it and it's got fag ends in or someone asked me if I wanted a glass but never came back with it.
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2015-11-29 at 3:59 PM UTCOk I got one small bottle of Jack and one small bottle of Russian Standard vodka.
https://i.imgur.com/dWf2N3C.jpg -
2015-11-29 at 6:33 PM UTC
Like if you had to go to some shoddy back alley to get alcohol it really does seem like we'd see lower incidence of alcohol use..
You mean like a speakeasy? I am not so sure that whole thing worked out very well. -
2015-11-29 at 8 PM UTCJesus Christ you guise post a lot of tl;dr shit.
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2015-11-29 at 8:18 PM UTC
Jesus Christ you guise post a lot of tl;dr shit.
Hey it's the only place you can place your real thoughts. Alcohol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kf_80pjtqw
I think it wasBlah who got me into Yelawolf. -
2015-11-29 at 9:57 PM UTCWell, Ive got someone lined up for my son, so I should be checking out before too much longer. I think itll be the best for him and the people I did care about in my life, they dont want me in their lives anyway so its not going to be some tramtic thing. My son will be spared knowing me or remembering me so all will be well. Im kind of excited. The pain will stop and those thoughts that penetrate my mind will nolonger be a thought, rather action. When my dad was alive, we had a psychic connection or some shit. We could read each others thoughts and often would randomly blurt the others thoughts while driving and such. At times it was kinda weird. I remember when he died, sitting there is tears hearing his voice in my head saying "woah.. wtf is this shit, holy fuck where am I? Whats that?.." and I had felt his voice slip from my mind, more like rip away.. later on on I heard his voice intrude my mind again (most likely made up from memories of him saying his final farewells to me the many times he did.. he was prepared to die when he finally went, I was expecting it for a long time) "sweetie, you knew this had to happen.. I got so much to explore and God to shoot in the face" and every blue moon I hear his words especially when I was in distress, an example was when my son was really sick throwing up and I paniced and was terrified. I kept worrying he was going to die. What stopped me from freaking out and calling an ambulance was him saying "sweetie, hes a baby and never known pain before now, hes never had a fever before, hes never been sick, thats why hes acting worse than he is- hes over reacting and cry and screaming just like youre worrying because hes never known sick before". the strange part is how his voice just intrudes in my head like it does, it interupts other thoughts and stopsme in my tracks. I miss my father... he always said I was his best friend and the last talk we had just bullshitting he said "Im going to miss this, I wish we had more times like this because I cherish these conversations." That was a day or two before he passed. my mother was jealous of our relationshipnd said we acted like a married couple. The only reason I didnt follow my dad into the night was because I was 6months pregnant. Ive sat here with a gun to my head and heard his voice intrude before "Ive put up with your ass for 18 years protecting you from the whore, youve got to do the same thing for your baby". Well, hes going to be protected from the people in my family now. Its a relief almost.
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2015-11-29 at 11:07 PM UTC
I've seen the app thing before, or something similar at least, it uses expected sleep phase durations right? Like it anticipates that if you fall asleep now you'll be in a REM phase in X hours for the least X greater than eight it wakes you up. Seems like variability in sleep phase length and time to sleep would be likely to throw it off, especially in my case since I can spend a while in bed before falling asleep. There are some products that would seem to offer better measures, I remember a headband that worked through pulse measurement and a "mat" you put under your sheet that detects your level of motion. Headband would seem to be the most reliable but I haven't read enough about the science behind it to want to give it a try. Would probably be a worthwhile investment if it worked, I could really do with feeling like I have these past few mornings all the time but I'm sure I'll be back at baseline pretty quick.
IIRC it determines it by analyzing your behavior during sleep, the amount of movement via the accelerometer, which is generally very sensitive/accurate in smartphones, which correlates with sleep phases. I read about the multiple options available on the market and this actually seemed to be the best, reviews for it are pretty good. Most of the other options may not have the feature of waking you up at the optimal time and are just used for sleep analysis, to provide information.Well, Ive got someone lined up for my son, so I should be checking out before too much longer. I think itll be the best for him and the people I did care about in my life, they dont want me in their lives anyway so its not going to be some tramtic thing. My son will be spared knowing me or remembering me so all will be well. Im kind of excited. The pain will stop and those thoughts that penetrate my mind will nolonger be a thought, rather action. When my dad was alive, we had a psychic connection or some shit. We could read each others thoughts and often would randomly blurt the others thoughts while driving and such. At times it was kinda weird. I remember when he died, sitting there is tears hearing his voice in my head saying "woah.. wtf is this shit, holy fuck where am I? Whats that?.." and I had felt his voice slip from my mind, more like rip away.. later on on I heard his voice intrude my mind again (most likely made up from memories of him saying his final farewells to me the many times he did.. he was prepared to die when he finally went, I was expecting it for a long time) "sweetie, you knew this had to happen.. I got so much to explore and God to shoot in the face" and every blue moon I hear his words especially when I was in distress, an example was when my son was really sick throwing up and I paniced and was terrified. I kept worrying he was going to die. What stopped me from freaking out and calling an ambulance was him saying "sweetie, hes a baby and never known pain before now, hes never had a fever before, hes never been sick, thats why hes acting worse than he is- hes over reacting and cry and screaming just like youre worrying because hes never known sick before". the strange part is how his voice just intrudes in my head like it does, it interupts other thoughts and stopsme in my tracks. I miss my father… he always said I was his best friend and the last talk we had just bullshitting he said "Im going to miss this, I wish we had more times like this because I cherish these conversations." That was a day or two before he passed. my mother was jealous of our relationshipnd said we acted like a married couple. The only reason I didnt follow my dad into the night was because I was 6months pregnant. Ive sat here with a gun to my head and heard his voice intrude before "Ive put up with your ass for 18 years protecting you from the whore, youve got to do the same thing for your baby". Well, hes going to be protected from the people in my family now. Its a relief almost.
Hydro, go to a crisis center. There's a lot of help available for single mothers, I wouldn't fault you for it. The world is the way it is, we don't live in an ideal world. There's no shame in asking for help. I wish I had admitted I needed others, needed help, and had a massive intervention over a decade ago.
Can you imagine how I must feel? How many times the thoughts have gone through my head, how many times I've laid awake at night thinking and crying, sometimes waking up crying too, about my life, all the problems with the world, existence, questioning whether I even wanted to be part of this world, whether I even wanted to be happy and if it would ever be enough or amount to anything, really matter? Over 10 years I completely closed myself off and withdrew from people, I completely missed out on life because I spent so much time in my head, never developed properly, the incredible amount of regret, guilt, disappointment, and shame, and now I have to dig myself out of that, and it's probably going to be something that will haunt me and that I'll have to try to make up for the rest of my life.
At least make one final effort like I'm trying to do. If I can hold on, so can you. After death, there's just nothing, you'll never have another chance again, another chance to discover whether there was something worth living for, whether you may have felt differently. -
2015-11-30 at 1:17 AM UTCI had a strange thing happen. Literally as I posted that, I got a call from this guy whos been buying the kpins and we used to go over and smoke pot with him and his son (hes like my dads age, has a wife and 4 kids ages 9, 20, 23 and 25) we had done mushrooms with him one time a few months back too. Anyway, he says it sounds like I was crying (I was but Im pretty good at fooling others when I care to and it wasnt like I was blubbering) I say no, he tells me to put on something nice l, get the baby ready and hes gonna be over in like a half hour. He wouldnt take no for an answer. He comes over with his wife, his 9 yo, and his dad who is visiting with a tray (those aluminumfoil turkey pan trays) full of barbq chickenand cornbread and takes us to this place where this lady sets up christmas lights and allows people for free to walk around her acre yard full of lights and decorations and there is a light show that is syncronysed to music. The baby really liked it, it was nice and really fucking unexpected. Im sure he did it as a ruse to grab some kpins off me though, but it was a nice couple hours out. Hiswife insisted on holding the baby most the time so that was a nice break in and ofits self. I appreciate your words, Malice. Just everything seems so impossible with a whole other life depending on just you. Ive found an avenue where he will be safe, cared for and probably better off without me atleast in the long run. I feel very confused about it all, but I just think it would be the better outcome for him and myself. I wouldfeel so guilty for nottaking my responsibility to him and these dogs that exiting the living world seems to bemy only option. you wanna make a email account I can shoot you an email to, malice? Since the PMs arent working.
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2015-11-30 at 1:42 AM UTCCheck if you've reached your limit for stored items. I tried to send you a PM and it told me I had to clear some out first, deleted some from both the inbox and trash folders.
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2015-11-30 at 2:35 AM UTCHey, hydro, try the pm system again. Just a test pm or copy paste from an earlier one, but I think I have a temp fix that works. Posted about this in another thread but vb5 is shitty and I feel bad for inflicting it on everyone, I'm thinking about strategies to move to something less terrible (prolly vb4/3) but in the meantime we should at least have PMs working.
You mean like a speakeasy? I am not so sure that whole thing worked out very well.
Yeah, I'm fully aware of prohibition but you'll remember I specifically said I'm not arguing for outlawing alcohol, I was simply arguing that we would expect prohibition to reduce incidence of alcohol consumption (although other negative outcomes make it clearly a poor policy, or at very least poorly executed). Like yes, subversion of the law was common, but you're not actually claiming rates of alcohol consumption went up during prohibition are you? -
2015-11-30 at 5:34 AM UTCI recieved your pm, Malice. Sent and email and a pm just now. I might bitch alot but I do appreciate you Lanny for taking timeout of your yuppie life to give us somewhere to have rere thread. I enjoy debating with you, though I get the impression youve had a sheltered life and not seen a whole lot of real life shit (related toour debate, Im sure youve seen alot in many other given areas of life, soIm not try to lookdown, rather say we have different persectives relative to our positions we had on our different life paths). My life may be fucked up, but I can say I am fortunate (depending on how you look at it) tohave seen such a broad spectum of life and have got to experience somuch.
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2015-11-30 at 6 AM UTCshe said spectrum
