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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2015-11-26 at 12:02 AM UTCbritfaggotry
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2015-11-26 at 1:51 AM UTCJust made a bourbon pecan pie with Eagle Rare 10 year bourbon and picked up a six pack of Arrogant Bastard ale to help me cope with the family tomorrow because apparently its frowned upon for me to show up lugging a liter of whiskey with me.
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2015-11-26 at 2:32 AM UTC^ wish i had some oxy for that purpose
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2015-11-26 at 2:54 AM UTC
Just made a bourbon pecan pie with Eagle Rare 10 year bourbon and picked up a six pack of Arrogant Bastard ale to help me cope with the family tomorrow because apparently its frowned upon for me to show up lugging a liter of whiskey with me.
They are just frowning because they didnt think to lug around a liter of whiskey with them. I dont know why so many people go through the song and dance of appeasing and spending a day with people they barely know at best and at worst truely hate. There isnt one happy thanksgiving or christmas get together I was ever drug to that I can recall. It was always people bitching and underminding other people and for like an hour while eating people pretended to like each other.
Oh BTW Malice, did you get my PM? If you decided not to reply thats fine, but I know the PMs have been not working right is why I am asking. -
2015-11-26 at 10:11 AM UTCWhat the fuck, malice. How did that faggot dose me get my reddit username? I will skullfuck you, you fucking shitbird parasitic, pathetic autistic, neckbeard piece of shit.
Fuck you. Fuck all of you. -
2015-11-26 at 2:08 PM UTCId so much rather stay home and play Fallout than deal with my jedi aunt and her obnoxious side of the family. My X0-1 Mark II Power Armor isn't going to upgrade itself.
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2015-11-26 at 4:39 PM UTCOh the holidays, how I hate thee
I'm sitting home taking care of baby fish. My girl went to see her mom and broter for tukey day and my mom and her dude are in florida. I should feel terrible if I were normal but I don't mind being alone. Gives me time to think. -
2015-11-26 at 5:18 PM UTCHow petty can someone be, especially on a holiday about thanks giving? My old old coonhound, Sadie, shes the quiet type and I didnt even realize she slipped out the door. Anyway, I hear gun shots and people screaming 'go home dog!' and here is poor old Sadiegirl at the very end of their 5 acre property laying in the grass between their mailbox and my mailbox soaking in a patch of warm sun on her old bones. This dog was no where near their house and was so close to my property that.. come on, you cant leave an old dog who aint making a sound enjoy the bit of sun shes soaking in? They went out of their way to be cruel and hateful. They could have just shooed her off, she would have slowly sauntered off the same way she did just now with the gun shots at her. I swear to fuck, if they shot my dog, especially her because she so laid back and is not a trouble maker in the least, youd probably hear about this on the front page of some news paper. If I ever go off the deep end, truely go off the deep end... my nieghbors.. they are going to have a lot to answer for.
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2015-11-26 at 6:06 PM UTCIve been depressed for a long time now, Ive been trying to keep my chin up, but not just the shit today, but everything has gotten to me and I dont think I can take much more. I have 55 or so 80mg propranolol, 30+ kpins, and 80+ grams of T-PAIN. The lethal dose for propranolol is a gram or just over if I recall. Im not going to do it, not just yet, Id set my son up with a better life before I did, but its really tempting when your body and mind hurt so much and trying seems futile and only going to lead to more hurt and pain. I truely have nobody except my son and the animals. Loneliness is a terrible thing.
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2015-11-26 at 7:09 PM UTC
Ive been depressed for a long time now, Ive been trying to keep my chin up, but not just the shit today, but everything has gotten to me and I dont think I can take much more. I have 55 or so 80mg propranolol, 30+ kpins, and 80+ grams of T-PAIN. The lethal dose for propranolol is a gram or just over if I recall. Im not going to do it, not just yet, Id set my son up with a better life before I did, but its really tempting when your body and mind hurt so much and trying seems futile and only going to lead to more hurt and pain. I truely have nobody except my son and the animals. Loneliness is a terrible thing.
If anything keep on keeping on for your son's sake. Since all this shit fell in your lap hows things been for you personally? job/gov assistance/etc There are resources for single mother. PM me if you rather not discuss here -
2015-11-26 at 11:19 PM UTCI did shoot you a PM. Malice hasnt responded if hes recieved the one I sent a bit ago so idk if they are sending or not.
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2015-11-27 at 3:02 AM UTC
Oh BTW Malice, did you get my PM? If you decided not to reply thats fine, but I know the PMs have been not working right is why I am asking.
Checked to make sure, I never received anything.What the fuck, malice. How did that faggot dose me get my reddit username? I will skullfuck you, you fucking shitbird parasitic, pathetic autistic, neckbeard piece of shit.
Fuck you. Fuck all of you.
I didn't do it, I've never talked to Dose Me and don't really remember him. I don't even know what your reddit username is, the one time you PM'd me asking for the new site we had migrated to you told me you had made a throwaway account.Id so much rather stay home and play Fallout than deal with my jedi aunt and her obnoxious side of the family.
jedis, you say? Are they well off? IIRC the median income for jedis in the US is around 100K. Sounds crazy, but it's similar for Hindus due to selection biases (Immigration restrictions, immigrants from India being disproportionately the cream of the crop who have high income jobs lined up or are set for that path.) May have been household income, I'm not sure. Posted before about Ashkenazi IQ, achievement, and the evolutionary theory behind it.
Anyway, you should suck it up and mooch up to her, pull of some social engineering so you can get some of those sweet jedi connections.Ive been depressed for a long time now, Ive been trying to keep my chin up, but not just the shit today, but everything has gotten to me and I dont think I can take much more. I have 55 or so 80mg propranolol, 30+ kpins, and 80+ grams of T-PAIN. The lethal dose for propranolol is a gram or just over if I recall. Im not going to do it, not just yet, Id set my son up with a better life before I did, but its really tempting when your body and mind hurt so much and trying seems futile and only going to lead to more hurt and pain. I truely have nobody except my son and the animals. Loneliness is a terrible thing.
Nardil.
As for loneliness: https://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/..._neurological/ -
2015-11-27 at 4:03 AM UTCThank God I made a brisket to take with me because that turkey she made had the texture and flavor of a cardboard box. And they aren't those type of jedis, Malice. Their only jedi connection is free pizza from where my cousin works.
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2015-11-27 at 4:27 AM UTCWell, I did PM you a few days ago and Blah earlier today. You got a trash email I can just message you with since this piece of shit site (Lanny, come on.. we fucking need PMs) cant have a simple function work right? Im poor as fuck atm. Im trying the shit I have at hand first. Having money, Id probably give it a try. Too bad I didnt ask at my doctors and just say what I said to get the kpins and my beta-blocker, itd been free then. Oh well. (FYI I havent touched the kpins. Ive been selling them. Benzos are no good for me and Ive sworn them off). I feel like the T-PAIN has been keeping me in check most the time. While I may think about doing it a lot, I dont know hpw to describe it, but it keeps me from acting if that makes sense. There has been a few times I was going to do it, was serious, but had made a promise to a friend and was talked down. Most of those times I either didnt have T-PAIN, or was low. One of those times I was taking Crouton to help while my shit got mailed and it made my depression much worse. Mostly what stops me though is my son. I see him look up at me and smile is little innocent derpy drooly smile at me, just randomly, and it melts my heart. When I think about doing it, I think about setting him up so he will be safe first off and in a position to have a good life. Then I think about handing him over to someone knowing Ill never see him again.. I cannot describe the despair I feel when I have that play through my head. He is a good baby and Im not saying that like all mothers say their child is the best. He doesnt cry a hell of a lot, and when he does, picking him up or giving him a bottle stops it except for when he was sick a little while ago- that frightened the fuck out of me. I kept thinking my baby was going to die. I was having anxiety attacks and was overwhelmed seeing him so sick. besides that though, he sleeps good and never is fussy even we we go out, he is the perfect child to take anywhere and others have commented that. If he were any other baby I dont know what I would do. Babies are stressful by default, but he is on the low end of that scale and I am thankful for that. He smiles and babbles like babies do, the dogs play with him and he enjoys their company. The dogs offer me a break when I am too emotionally unable to show him attention and I am also thankful for that. I love my son with all my heart. I never thought Id feel the way I do about him. Ive never felt like this in my life and was always sceptical of people saying a baby changes how you feel/youll never love anything more when you have one ect. But I can say its the truth, atleast for me. I have no reason to put up a front for you guys.. if I didnt love him or didnt have this fucked up unconditional love for him, Id say so and hed either be put up for adoption, with dcf, or with his father. I wouldnt be dealing with this child like I am because firstly I didnt want a baby. I wanted to have a baby to make my husband happy and when the opportunity cameto have him (I swear on his life I didnt intentionally use §m£ÂgØL to get pregnant, but I mean when I found out I was pregnant) he said he wanted him and would cherish and treat him as his own. §m£ÂgØL is the biological father, but my husband signed the BC. Obviously that was a mistake to believe that lying and manipulating sack of shit, but I do love my child, I am genuinely glad he is in my life and I wouldnt change having him, I just wish it were under different circumstances. Anyway.. its been tough and Ive had nobody for a long while. The person who did talk me down is no longer in my life and it doesnt seem like they will be back anytime soon. My husband had many times encouraged me to kill myself by treated me like shit, walking away when I said I needed help. Even told me while I was suicidal and pregnant when I planned to off myself with a bottle of acepromazine, propranolol and somas that if Ididnt die relatively quick, he would shoot me in the head and make it look like I did it. Looking back, I think he wanted me to die so he could continue mooching off my grandmother and not have to deal with my shit/my nagging for him to get anjob or do what needed doing around this fucked up house. The dogs are a blessing and a curse. They do offer me comfort and some measure of companionship but they are also a handful to deal with alone. I desparately need help fixing the fence so they dont run off and give me anxiety attacks over them getting shot or having the neighbors call animal control again. This job is probably notgoing to work out. The girl whosaid shed help me is now 'not sure' since she has so much on her plate now. Her dumbass babydaddy got busted with a QP and is in jail, and shes wanting to bail him out sobhe can just go to the local county jail where his warrant is issued for because 'the jail hes in is really tough' its retarded. Shes retarded, both of them are retarded and their kid is probably retarded too. This woman and her babydaddy were driving on a suspeneded license with both her kids, doing 'molly' and she 'had to' eat a bottle of flexeril when they got stopped. Like wtf? Who fucking does this with their kids. I know Im not perfect but I not going to do a drug thatll impair me like that, drive on a license thats suspended with my child in the car. I couldnt ever imagine risking his life and my custody of him like that, for anything. Their level of stuoidity amazes me. Also shes been calling me for 'support', she lives with her mom and stepdad, and has bothers and sisters and when she took me to town the oneday she had 4 friends call her to bullshit. Maybe life isnt perfect for her, but she really doesnt see they fucked up lot I am in atm. Shes really self centered. She has helped me, she isnt a bad person, just retarded. I dont know what to do anymore. If something good happens, 10 bad things happen shortly there after it seems.
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2015-11-27 at 4:36 AM UTCI keep reading the title as "The Retarded Thread, Fuck Gollem edition"
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2015-11-27 at 6:26 AM UTCIve been thinking a lot lately why I lurk and post here with you guys. People have told me I should find a mothering forum or whatever, especially when my post partum depression was bad. Ive thought about it, Ive onoccasion looked over some topics on them, I do that with other forum too on shit Im interested in/seeking an answer or information, but the real reason I dont is because you all are a pretty rare bunch of weirdos that fits my take on life a lot closer than any other community has. I couldnt really say what I mean, or even describe my use of T-PAIN without being misunderstood, looked down on or nobody really understand wtf it is. I dont think I fall in line as a typical mother. Dont get me wrong, I love and care about my child, but like my father when he was raising me, he often had a lot of people, particularly woman, question how he was raising me and his ideals to being honest and refraining from sugar coating reality regardless of my age (age 5, my favorite movie was Heavy Metal if that gives you an idea of how my father never sheltered me from the world). I dont feel Id fit in with what society deems a mother should be. In someways, I dont feel like I fit here either, but you all atleast can appreciate drug use, self medicating and feeling fucked in the head.
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2015-11-27 at 6:46 AM UTC
Being mismatched for society/the world, holding unacceptable views and behavior, and, on your side profound feeling of inadequacy when looking out at them, that this, the vast majority of other people, are never going to be what you want them to be, self-medicating, feeling fucked in the head.
Yes, I suppose on some level most people here can relate to that. The Island of Misfit Toys. -
2015-11-27 at 7:35 AM UTCI really feel like giving up. I recall you mentioning for a while now that youve felt terminal. I think, to some degree, I can appreciate that feeling. Ive always felt that shit wouldnt work the way it was supposed to. An example of this was going to a recital when I was in elemetary school, it was held at the highschool. My mother said "when your older youll be graduating highschool here" I think I was 7 years old or so, and something deep resinated with me that, no, despite at the time every sign pointed to that being the case, it wasnt going to happen and I had no explanation for that feeling- during that time my father was working/hadnt got hurt yet, was on good drugs, shit, while not being perfect wasnt out of control and I dare say, somewhat normal). I feel that way about my future. I feel I am going to die young. I feel my days are numbered and have for a while now. Ive also, even that early in years never seemed to be on the same page as my peers. The school therapist once mentioned that I could speak well enough with adults, but struggled to fit in with kids my age. As Ive gotten older I realize I can put up one hell of a front when it comes to social interaction, but thats not me, thats me prentending I give a fuck or I need something out of it (i.e. when I was a server, when I call and deal with people on the phone for whatever reason like for insurance or to set up appointments). I dont usually show my true colors to most people because I learned long ago most people will shun me. I honestly dont wish to engage with most people. Ive never posted anywhere else with any regularity. When I was a preteen/early teen I used to talk with people in chatrooms and what have you. I made a few close friendships I followed for years and one which I still have kind of. We met IRL and her family has a lot of influence. In truth I dont consider her a friend, mainly a source of entertainment because its ridiculous who who family is and how retarded she is. Ive seen it with her, unmasking myself, she has recoiled, though she is so self centered she quickly forgets. I dont even like talking to her honestly.. I dont like to engage with people like that and not be genuine. Mainly she has been calling me a lot and Ive been really lonely so I humor her and myself. One reason I feel so isolated is, how many people are worth the trouble of knowing... and people a lot of times dont care on the level I invest in when I do open up and have someone grow on me. I have a lot of faults, but my dad did always say it was a shame how some people treated me who were supposed to be my friend. He used to say I was one hell of a friend when it did come down to me taking them in under my umbrella of caring. Often times people take advantage of that or think there is an ulterior motive behind my behavior when I accept people. There isnt. I just find so few people worth the effort that when I do give a fuck about someone, I put all of myself into it. I ama person with a mountain of love togive, too few people togive it to and littleif no loved returned. My dogs are my source of love and affection, which I guess is better than nothing.
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2015-11-27 at 7:45 AM UTCWhy is christian bale looking at a les miserables poster?
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2015-11-27 at 8:03 AM UTCLANNY! please fix the PMs. This is annoying as fuck.
