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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2015-11-18 at 8:47 AM UTCOh god I'm lonely. This is killing me, destroying myself and my life. This isn't life, this isn't what life is supposed to feel like; it's absolutely empty and bleak, devoid warmth and emotion.
God I fucking hate people. I can't imagine myself in any sort relationship, let alone with a family. I can picture myself regularly having to fight the urge to brutally kill a woman who thinks she's being cute.
Maybe I could just allow myself to love them for a moment...then kill them. No, really, no. -
2015-11-18 at 8:16 PM UTCrape the hate away, malice
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2015-11-19 at 12:13 AM UTCYeah, well I thought about you alot today, Malice, especially on the ride home. Woman are fucking retarded. She picks me up and goes on about how horrible her baby daddy treats her, how he does nothing, how hes retarded, has a warrant over a ticket because he was scared to go to court thinking theyd get him on drug charges (lol hes really a stupid drug dealer and paranoid in all the wrong ways) and how her 18month old baby is driving her up a wall. On the way home she goes on about how she wants to get pregnant soon and try for a girl because she always wanted a little girl... like da fuk? With the same douchebag noless and she wants one now so she 'can have a life later'. Look, Ive fucked up, made bad choices, and I admit and accept that, but no fucking way in hell am I going to make shit worse with another child in my life, Im one and done with this baby. Fucking it blew my mind how fucked in the head and selfish she is being. Its not just her, its her two other kids and living with a man who beats her, verbally abuses her and does next to nothing for the kids. I reallynhad no words for her. That is the most retarded shit Ive fucking heard of. Shes not a bad person, just serious stupid...
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2015-11-19 at 12:42 AM UTCYea..... don't try living with paranoid schizophrenics. She pulled a knife and threatened to stab someone the second night I was there. She thought she was the original Sia and wrote the chorus to Guts Over Fear. She thought her ex was a famous soccer player. It was an interesting week but my god was she completely off the scale deluded. On the plus side she bought me so much food and alcohol and tobacco and gave me money for codeine and a few diazepam so it wasn't all bad.
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2015-11-19 at 1:07 AM UTCYo, anyone got any thoguths on Deplin to help with my depression? Shit's been terrible lately (hence me not being around) I even had to turn down a job over my mental health probs.
Some info
http://www.psychcongress.com/article/l-methylfolate-promising-therapy-treatment-resistant-depression-11329
http://www.everydayhealth.com/drugs/deplin#basics
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2015-11-19 at 1:11 AM UTCpfft nevermind my insurance don't cover it and it's 85 for 30 pills
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2015-11-19 at 1:13 AM UTCBrace yourself for the fifteen paragraph autistic musings about Deplin that are surely imminent.
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2015-11-19 at 1:20 AM UTC
Brace yourself for the fifteen paragraph autistic musings about Deplin that are surely imminent.
Malice knows his drugs, I respect that.
I'm considering just buying an eigth of som reggie and smoking myself better.
All kidding aside backin the ol J dub days when I smoked daily depression didn't bother me much and I had the most successful year of my life professionally
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2015-11-19 at 1:21 AM UTCreckon I should count my blessing least mil is gone
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2015-11-19 at 1:24 AM UTCIn other news I've more or less accepted the fact I'm bipolar and not just depressed due to my increased awareness of manic states (and the seemingly increased instances of them) so I've adapted to coaching myself out of deep depressive slumps by remembering that a manic state is likely right around the corner if I just buck up and wait for it, and my manic states are more or less like being high on stimulants without the cost or effort.
Have noticed odd effects from powdered caffeine lately. I'm getting the usual energy/focus boost that comes shortly after ingestion, but quite often it seems that I get a second, even more pronounced boost of energy several hours later, long after the caffeine's effects have typically stopped for me in the past. Either the caffeine is feeding into the manic tendencies somehow, or Powder City laced my shit with dirty Chinese stimulants. Last night I was so wound up I decided to take a measly 25 mg of Seroquel with about 250 mg of L-Theanine and one beer when I got home from work thinking it would just take the edge off only to find myself falling asleep while standing up an hour later, then I went to get a bottle of water out of the fridge and in my half-conscious state grabbed a bottle of salad dressing and almost took a fat swig off of it. -
2015-11-19 at 1:29 AM UTC
Yea….. don't try living with paranoid schizophrenics. She pulled a knife and threatened to stab someone the second night I was there. She thought she was the original Sia and wrote the chorus to Guts Over Fear. She thought her ex was a famous soccer player. It was an interesting week but my god was she completely off the scale deluded. On the plus side she bought me so much food and alcohol and tobacco and gave me money for codeine and a few diazepam so it wasn't all bad.
I bet if you just jack off more often you can avoid all these encounters with crazy ass women. You're going to strike out big time eventually and wind up with one who severs your penis with a dull kitchen tool like Lorena Bobbitt while you're passed out from diazepam and Buckfast. -
2015-11-19 at 1:38 AM UTC
I bet if you just jack off more often you can avoid all these encounters with crazy ass women. You're going to strike out big time eventually and wind up with one who severs your penis with a dull kitchen tool like Lorena Bobbitt while you're passed out from diazepam and Buckfast.
quoted for truth -
2015-11-19 at 1:59 AM UTCwhat the fuck is buckfast?
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2015-11-19 at 2:33 AM UTC
what the fuck is buckfast?
bumwine -
2015-11-19 at 3:23 AM UTC
Ahahahahaha, someone mentioned that thread and I watched it for a while, saw the trips but assumed nothing ever happened. I mean the attacks are some cave-nigger tier shit but I can't help but crack up over the people running over the memorial thing, esp the dude who fell on his ass.
Where was the fire works? Where was the Allahu Ahkbar? I am Dissapoint. -
2015-11-19 at 3:58 AM UTC
what the fuck is buckfast?
God's literal gift to poor criminal britbongs -
2015-11-19 at 4:29 AM UTC
Yo, anyone got any thoguths on Deplin to help with my depression? Shit's been terrible lately (hence me not being around) I even had to turn down a job over my mental health probs.
Some info
http://www.psychcongress.com/article...pression-11329
http://www.everydayhealth.com/drugs/deplin#basicsMalice knows his drugs, I respect that.
I'm considering just buying an eigth of som reggie and smoking myself better.
All kidding aside backin the ol J dub days when I smoked daily depression didn't bother me much and I had the most successful year of my life professionally
NSI-189 may be a godsend for both of us, anyone dealing with severe depression and other issues (PTSD). You read about it? The story behind it is really fascinating It's different than anything else and works by promoting rapid neurogenesis in the hippocampus, which undergoes atrophy from chronic stress and depression. Adult hippocampal neurogenesis is also implicated in forgetting, which is a perfect added bonus for those of us looking for a new start on life, to forget the dark parts of our past, particularly if you're the kind that ruminates on them and really has them cemented in their mind (I do to a terrible extent). This may be the mechanism by which fear extinguishment occurs, great for PTSD or overcoming social anxiety.
It's only about $5.50 a gram if you chip in with others to buy 100. You only need about 8 grams for a 3 month cycle, 40mg twice a day, and many people see results right away. Multiple cycles are possible, I'm interested in 25 grams for myself. There's a huge thread about it on Longecity, and you can find reports on r/nootropics as well.
http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic...i-189/page-117
Article about it here: http://www.bethesdamagazine.com/Beth...ticle=0#artancThen I went to get a bottle of water out of the fridge and in my half-conscious state grabbed a bottle of salad dressing and almost took a fat swig off of it.
Classic PoC. -
2015-11-19 at 6:28 AM UTCYou know, the whole trick/heal my brain using virtual reality idea is starting to seem appealing again, could provide a very novel healthy/nurturing environment due to the level of novelty, variety, and stimulation. If things go well we'll all be spending most of our time in VR within a few decades, I'd just be an early adopter. It honestly does seem like it may be a better alternative to any form of IRL social relationships, and it could at least greatly overall improve various aspects of cognition, my mental state/functioning, should I ever choose to reintegrate into society.
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2015-11-19 at 6:49 AM UTC
Yeah, well I thought about you alot today, Malice, especially on the ride home. Woman are fucking retarded. She picks me up and goes on about how horrible her baby daddy treats her, how he does nothing, how hes retarded, has a warrant over a ticket because he was scared to go to court thinking theyd get him on drug charges (lol hes really a stupid drug dealer and paranoid in all the wrong ways) and how her 18month old baby is driving her up a wall. On the way home she goes on about how she wants to get pregnant soon and try for a girl because she always wanted a little girl… like da fuk? With the same douchebag noless and she wants one now so she 'can have a life later'. Look, Ive fucked up, made bad choices, and I admit and accept that, but no fucking way in hell am I going to make shit worse with another child in my life, Im one and done with this baby. Fucking it blew my mind how fucked in the head and selfish she is being. Its not just her, its her two other kids and living with a man who beats her, verbally abuses her and does next to nothing for the kids. I reallynhad no words for her. That is the most retarded shit Ive fucking heard of. Shes not a bad person, just serious stupid…
I misinterpreted your post. At first I thought you we're talking about yourself, then I misinterpreted it as it sounding like your husband talking about you, double checked the username, don't know how he would have gotten ahold of your account, then finally realized you were talking about someone else and felt relief you weren't that crazy.
Anyway, if you ever want to fully understand gender, this is by far the best book ever written, from the basis of evolutionary psychology and studies, the immense amount of studies conducted/data available. Actually relatively short, easy to understand and get through, and absolutely fascinating, filled with a variety of information that will make so many things people wonder about the sexes suddenly make perfect sense: http://www.amazon.com/There-Anything-Good-About-Men/dp/019537410X
http://gen.lib.rus.ec -
2015-11-19 at 8:17 AM UTCTook some 7,8-DHF along with a bit of etizolam and went to an East-Asian grocery store to stock up on stuff. Seems to have caused a potent and rapid anti-depressant effect. I've mentioned this before, my "cyclic psychopathy" observation, which could align with the evolutionary biology theory of depression, depressive symptoms reducing the risk of aggression from others and increasing the chance of help (normally this would be in a tribal or at least ethnically homogenous setting, much closer-knit/geographically limited communities (people generally died within 50 miles of where they lived before long-distance transportation, IIRC)), loneliness having a clear purpose, like hunger, due to the immense advantages/importance of being in a group.
Currently viewing all Futurama episodes and I really identify with Bender. That annoying/slightly cringy habit most people probably have to some extent of imitating a character(s) to some degree. Empathy plummets, desire to be with other people. Closer to the egomaniacal "Fuck everyone but myself! I'm the only one that matters and the greatest being in existence! I'll kill every last filthy human on Earth!" mentality that used to be persistent in my younger years.
Highly effective drugs + VR = people replacement. Hrrrngh, continue on the path toward likely soul shattering regret and self-destruction or accept what would likely be years of immense struggle, suffering, pain, and discomfort in order to develop/blossom and finally allow at least one person into my heart.
Right now I'm feeling "Man I wish I had a laser machinegun, superhero movement, and impermeability."
