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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2015-11-13 at 7 AM UTC"I cannot believe what I've done." When thinking about my past. I've missed out on so many things, done so much damage to myself.
God I wish I had a family or some form of emotional support. Fuck, the things completely isolating yourself for so long does to you. Everything feels overwhelming and insurmountable now. The evidence on the negative effects of social isolation are horrific, and being born with an abnormal brain to begin with, that makes proper social functioning and feeling a connection with others difficult, along with numerous other symptoms... Fuck me I want to be reborn.
I absolutely hate it when it gets cold. The feeling of having people waiting for you and happy to see you return, being able to share a bed with loved ones and feel their warmth, it must be wonderful.
I was so ideologically driven, I wanted to prove you could be happy without others. I was wrong. I don't know if the stories of hermits finding enlightenment are true, genes are guaranteed to account for a large part of how well you can handle it, but maybe they learned things, had thoughts/realizations, that I haven't. I'm too weak at this point, though. -
2015-11-13 at 8:14 AM UTCOh, before I forget. You know what would have really been nice? If we could have had an option to tag our own posts "important", to make it much easier to save things we value. Maybe a tweak to allow the wayback machine spider/crawler, whatever it's called, to bypass the search function time limit.
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2015-11-13 at 3:14 PM UTCMalice will kill himself before New Years.
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2015-11-13 at 8 PM UTCI wonder what all the people who gave up on migrating here/other places are up to? Would be neat if all the talented and smart people have gone on to succussful careers and whatnot now that its been a good while since the timesink of zoklet disappeared. Kind of regret not grabbing people's email addresses when the chance was there. Can't really think of any specific users I want to check on personally just anyone in general. Except for LavaRed, the crossdressing colombian coffee plantation owner who had an arsenal of guns and also stage 4 cancer. I hope he's not dead.
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2015-11-13 at 9:04 PM UTCI'd be interestested in where Ygg is these days. I remember he was split between studying history or pre-med last I heard. Smart dude, would love to know where he is now, probably just about done with school.
Malice, remember you posted something about the correlation between depression and planning or high mental activity in some kind of non-human life? Do you still have that? In a bout of wikigolf I wondered upon the articles for Buddhist mindfulness and psychological rumination. The use of the term "rumination" to describe that particular mental phenomenon was interesting to me, reminded me of what you posted. I tend to think of the term as neutral or even positive (implying deep thought) but somebody picked it to describe a symptom and/or cause of depression. And like conversely mindfulness seems to imply the surrender of some level of agency or planning capacity which makes me uneasy. Like when I was reading about it I kept thinking "yeah, but how am I going to know what to do next if I'm always focused on the now". What a cruel joke it would be if planning, deep though, the higher cognitive functions that are generally considered to be what separate us from lower animals were inextricable from depression. If the only way to live as a higher animal was to walk the tightrope between self destructive obsession and base animalism. -
2015-11-13 at 10:24 PM UTCThinking too much does cause depression. If you're depressed, learning how to silence your mind can help you. If you're a determinist, you shouldn't be worried too much about planning what you're going to do next.
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2015-11-13 at 11:51 PM UTClysergi is doing a 20% off on AL-LAD this month. Think I'm going to stock up even though I'm sitting on a decent chunk of 4-AcO-DMT
Thinking too much does cause depression. If you're depressed, learning how to silence your mind can help you. If you're a determinist, you shouldn't be worried too much about planning what you're going to do next.
It doesn't really work that way, determinists don't believe in inefficacy of causality, indeed the determinist should be more convinced than anyone that a failure to plan can cause negative outcomes, it's simply that whether or not we plan, whether or not we affect good rather than bad causes, is not something we have free agency in. In any case, whether or not we have a choice in the matter, it seems like if alternatives lie between reduced cognitive function (think of it as opt-in brain damage) and crippling depression then we find ourselves in a really dark place. -
2015-11-14 at 6:41 AM UTC
Malice, remember you posted something about the correlation between depression and planning or high mental activity in some kind of non-human life? Do you still have that? In a bout of wikigolf I wondered upon the articles for Buddhist mindfulness and psychological rumination. The use of the term "rumination" to describe that particular mental phenomenon was interesting to me, reminded me of what you posted. I tend to think of the term as neutral or even positive (implying deep thought) but somebody picked it to describe a symptom and/or cause of depression. And like conversely mindfulness seems to imply the surrender of some level of agency or planning capacity which makes me uneasy. Like when I was reading about it I kept thinking "yeah, but how am I going to know what to do next if I'm always focused on the now". What a cruel joke it would be if planning, deep though, the higher cognitive functions that are generally considered to be what separate us from lower animals were inextricable from depression. If the only way to live as a higher animal was to walk the tightrope between self destructive obsession and base animalism.
Autism power, activate!
https://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/comments/2u5vgt/is_serotonin_an_upper_or_a_downer_the_evolution/
Most things, concepts, don't have innate connotations, we're the ones that ascribe emotions to them. Although many attached feelings, triggers for them, have a strong evolutionary/biological basis, we have a strong ability to change the habits of our mind and come to perceive things differently, to see the positive aspect in things or simply brush pain aside, let it wash past you like a wave, or to not develop any judgement at all, but simply perceive, which is a major part of the concept of mindfulness, I believe, along with a major and beneficial aspect of the ego death experience, to be able to experience things without the enhancements, confines, and burden of the ego. No judgement, attached/triggered emotions, feeling of separation and the wide array of effects it has on our mental processes, our views/ideologies and decisions, throughout or normal life. I think this is something that comes up a lot in Buddhist literature.
This is a very bad habit of mine and something I need to change. It's just that when I'm ruminating on subjects that most would find deeply depressing, that there's some natural basis for experiencing that way, it feels so mismatched to try to remain positive, wrong. Then again, considering the damage severe depression does to ability to process things, to develop and improve my life, it probably isn't worth any benefit it may have and I should bear through the discomfort of change. A new perspective could be incredibly beneficial, anyway.
I've never read much about Buddhism, although I really should eventually. To be honest, unfortunately I've really fucked up my brain and potential and have pretty much given myself ADD-PI (primarily inattentive). Shit, I could read like a motherfucker in elementary, blazing fast and all day, perfect grades, top of the class, elite standardized test scores. I don't know what the fuck happened, whether it was bound to happen and triggered by some changes in puberty or I just lost interest and came to develop such a nihilistic, negative and jaded worldview, in part because of the terrible environment in middle school, along with the extreme social isolation being another major factor, of course.
Anyway, unfortunately there are so many problems attached to religions, dogmatism and institutional biases/negative effects (Rick Strassman talked about his experience with this in The Spirit Molecule), poor interpretations, some by dilettantes with no real understanding who vastly overestimate their knowledge and intelligence, go on insane rants, and develop a following that spreads this (some people in the psychedelic movement definitely come to mind). There's so much chaff to sift through, and lord knows the most popular and top rated books aren't necessarily a good measure to go by because the masses/commoners/average man have shit taste (although there is the benefit of a self-selection bias, so often you can at least find small pockets or certain people with genuinely good recommendations).
Then there are the people who have spent decades in meditation. I mean, holy shit, just think about what that experience must be like, where they could end up. IIRC there have been brain scans suggesting that they genuinely are significantly happier than the general population, and persistently in that state. Although, once again, selection biases. People with certain genetic predispositions are bound to be much more likely to stick through it and respond well. It's just incredible to think about what meditation masters may have experienced and come to realize, the changes it may have caused in their state of conscious experience. Multiple times I've seen people mention that certain forms of meditation, brought about through very long sessions, or possibly some may be able to do so through experience, being able to achieve a deep state, can create experiences deeper than even what psychedelics can achieve.
Well, that's life, so much complexity, so many limitations. It can be deeply depressing. Come to think of it, these kinds of people are probably the only ones whose conscious experience, state of mind, may be so radically different from the standard that it's really particularly worth examining. Bring on the singularity so we experience and know everything already. -
2015-11-14 at 8:16 AM UTCChrist, heard someone mention the Pairs attacks at the bank earlier today, but wasn't sure if I seen a headline about it on Reddit late last night and it wasn't that significant. What a shitstorm, this is going to be great entertainment. *grabs popcorn* I really do treasure moments like this, there's a special quality to them. How they bring people together, the shared event/experience, the discussions, the extremes of human existence and sweet sweet footage, the lasting fallout.
Oh shit, maybe the National Front could win after all. I remember Ygg on Zoklet took a liking to them, made a thread IIRC. And of course this will spread anti-muslim sentiment throughout the rest of Europe, create greater racial/ethnic/religious tensions, more resistance to immigration/multiculturalism/diversity. I won't consider it a positive thing if it greatly reduces immigration from the migrant crisis, though, as I want states to fail and become untenable, and more immigration will only accelerate this. -
2015-11-15 at 12:49 AM UTCZoklet always popped up in the lulziest of places...
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2015-11-15 at 6:47 PM UTCSup faggrets?
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2015-11-16 at 4:28 AM UTC
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2015-11-16 at 9:48 AM UTCHey...imagine the havoc you could cause by using a high powered slingshot to launch fake baggies of drugs into places, like children's schools. You could do all sorts of things with one, reminds me of that Malcolm in the Middle episode.
I wonder what the greatest vandalism caused by one (suspected) person, or even a group of people, was. Whether anyone ever declared their own senseless war against society, possibly just focused on whatever city they lived in.
PoC, you seem like the perfect type for this if we got some good benzos and stims in you. Oh, phenibut could be great for making you an angry belligerent asshole. Give up your dreams of ever becoming a good person and embrace evil. -
2015-11-17 at 12:04 AM UTC
PoC, you seem like the perfect type for this if we got some good benzos and stims in you. Oh, phenibut could be great for making you an angry belligerent asshole. Give up your dreams of ever becoming a good person and embrace evil.
I only post here like once a month anymore and you still mention me in your posts all the time like you've got some kind of weird fag crush on me or something.
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2015-11-17 at 12:23 AM UTCCame across something pretty interesting: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grant_Study
The Grant Study is part of the Study of Adult Development at Harvard Medical School. It is a 75-year longitudinal study of 268 physically- and mentally-healthy Harvard college sophomores from the classes of 1939–1944. It has run in tandem with a study called "The Glueck Study," which included a second cohort of 456 disadvantaged nondelinquent inner-city youths who grew up in Boston neighborhoods between 1940 and 1945.[1] The subjects were all male, white and of American nationality. The men continue to be studied to this day. The men were evaluated at least every two years by questionnaires, information from their physicians, and in many cases by personal interviews. Information was gathered about their mental and physical health, career enjoyment, retirement experience and marital quality. The goal of the study was to identify predictors of healthy aging.
The study is unique partly because of the long time span of the cohort, and also partly because of the high social status of some of the study participants.
Linked to from here (cached, because the OP was later deleted): http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fdepression%2Fcomments%2F3swmos%2Fwhy_you_cant_be_happy_alone%2F&oq=cache%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fdepression%2Fcomments%2F3swmos%2Fwhy_you_cant_be_happy_alone%2F&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i58.7334j0j4&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8
Vaillant's main conclusion is that "warmth of relationships throughout life have the greatest positive impact on 'life satisfaction'". Put differently, Vaillant says the study shows: "Happiness is love. Full stop."
Something I've been immensely resistant to accepting. -
2015-11-17 at 12:33 AM UTC
I only post here like once a month anymore and you still mention me in your posts all the time like you've got some kind of weird fag crush on me or something.
I wonder what would happen if we met up and by some cosmic miracle-joke ended up hitting it off, two misfit peas in a pod, getting drunk or high and painting the town red or just gaming alone, then we each took a pill that turned us gay for x hours. How we would feel about each other.
I'm just messing with you, that's a really disturbing scenario. I still remember you were the only one that really liked me as a poster and stood up for me when I first began posting in TRT.
Maybe it's just because we can identify with each other in some ways, how profoundly lonely, depressed, broken, and dissatisfied with life we feel, or have felt at times. -
2015-11-17 at 12:52 AM UTChttp://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/09/02/love-is-all-you-need-insights-from-the-longest-longitudinal-study-on-men-ever-conducted/
We've done everything wrong, had everything go wrong. -
2015-11-17 at 3:08 AM UTC
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2015-11-17 at 7:07 AM UTC
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2015-11-18 at 5:45 AM UTChttps://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/3t8nov/my_grandma_just_got_scammed_out_of_her_life/
Hmm, maybe I should start preying on the elderly. I could concoct a scheme more devious and cunning, more ruthless, and enact it with a level of heartlessness, than anything seen before. May not even need to move to Florida, SF could be good hunting ground for rich people that have gone senile/crazy.
