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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2015-10-31 at 2:42 AM UTC"LSD is medicine for the soul." - Albert Hoffman
I feel a bit better today, in a way. LSD can be wonderfully therapeutic, emotionally cleansing. I feel something may be developing within me, like a small sprout, the beginning of regaining some emotions. I'm going to continue and would like to see how this develops. I'm not going to kill myself suddenly, if it does end up happening it likely won't be for a fair amount of time.He's on so much fentanyl he probably couldn't even hold a book up. Tracheostomized so he can't talk, too out of it to be communicative anyway, even if I thought it was a good idea (supposedly he took acid once when he was younger but I don't think he'd handle psychedelics well these days, even if he wasn't in the hospital and intermittently in pain/sedated) I'd have a hard time getting satisfactory consent and obviously it would have to be done on the downlow since his physician wouldn't allow it and he's in the hospital so I don't think there's any way it could work.
That's really unfortunate. I didn't know he was that bad.You illicit a lot of emotions from me Malice, compassion is rarely one of them. That being said don't be a faggot. This too will pass.
Christ, you guys really don't care. The lack of response is somewhat depressing, but I suppose it's like the boy who cried wolf, I've been writing about it so much, particularly the last year on Zoklet. I suppose I can understand not deserving compassion, although it's good that I illicit a lot of emotions. I'm serious, though, I really am.Does T-PAIN really fuck your tolerance that bad comparatively? I've been on it for ~1.5 months. I want to get off it but, it halps me a lot with pain/problems. I should probably taper off soon but it's easy to just keep using.
Why do you want to get off? If you don't keep escalating the dose, don't use excessive doses, it's a very good drug to use continually. -
2015-10-31 at 8:13 AM UTCI have the urge to binge on Disney films. Normal reality is just too constraining, and it would be good for the whole revisiting your childhood concept and whatnot. I just wish I had some harlequin weed.
Futurama as well. I don't know how much of it I watched while it was airing, what I missed. I can't really remember it anyway. -
2015-10-31 at 9:49 AM UTCConflicting desires, the perceptions of others, IT'S TOO PAINFUL! ~ Autism
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2015-10-31 at 10:32 AM UTCImagine if sploo became an autistic version of The Hulk.
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2015-10-31 at 11:47 AM UTCSong for you Malice.
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2015-11-01 at 12:53 AM UTCSo I got some of those wifi controlled lightbulbs yesterday, like Philips Hue but the chinese knockoffs. The documentation is dogshit and the app is broken but I've spent the day going through tidbits on the internet and doing a little genuine reverse engineering and am pulling together a controller for them. Not particularly complicated work but a lot of trial and error, pretty fun though. My goal is to simulate an offset light/dark cycle. I always go to bed well after it gets dark and get up hours after it gets light so both are kinda difficult (always have been, but it's noticeably worse with my wonky schedule (I actually love the schedule, just not this part of it)). I've used flux for years but there's not much you can do about house lighting, so that's what I'm shooting for, I'll simulate sunset around 10 and gradually wind the light level to black around 1 or 2, then start a simulated sunrise an hour or so before I have to wake up.
"LSD is medicine for the soul." - Albert Hoffman
I feel a bit better today, in a way. LSD can be wonderfully therapeutic, emotionally cleansing. I feel something may be developing within me, like a small sprout, the beginning of regaining some emotions. I'm going to continue and would like to see how this develops. I'm not going to kill myself suddenly, if it does end up happening it likely won't be for a fair amount of time.
Told you so.
The "something developing inside" comment is interesting. I had this experience the first time I tripped and now and then since where I have a moment of "spiritual" belief, like not of the abrahamic god or whatever, but not "secular spirituality" life-affirmation whatever either, like a genuine belief in the supernatural. Nothing specific, not like "salvation is happening in 2020" or "my toaster is sentient" but just like a general sense that there are things in the world which aren't governed by physical laws and such (so it's not even really a coherent concept to begin with). It was pretty unnerving at first, because it wasn't like if you asked me if I believed in that I would say yes, "me" as in the thing which forms words to speak and thinks of an "I" doesn't buy into that, it's all about science, atheism, and fedoras or whatever. But then on some intuitive level I did buy into it, like if you could force me into a situation where I had to act as quickly as possible and where the decision somehow rested on whether or not I believe in the divine I'd have acted in the way that suggests belief (that was an awkward sentence to construct, we don't have very expressive language for this kind of thing). It's pretty brief, like I realize it and within a few seconds I'm like "nah, that's hippy-tier nonsense" but it's just strange to have happen. Anyway, I had a fear early on that I was going to develop an enduring belief like that and eventually convert to judaism or something. Like that religiosity had somehow taken root in my soul was working on my mind.
inb4schizophreniaSong for you Malice.
You've posted videos from Life is Strange's ST a couple of times although I don't remember if they're the same track or not. Have you played it? What did you think? I remember the early release trailers vaguely and figured it was going to be some pathetic shutin-fodder trying to sell with an overly-cute depressive-pixie-girlfriend (maybe it was just the girl on all the covers looking like whats-her-tits from bioshock infinity) but reviews seem pretty positive since. -
2015-11-01 at 9:10 AM UTCOh crap, daylight savings. An extra hour to help those of us with screwed up sleep schedules reconfigure! Spring forward and fall back; I didn't expect it so soon, didn't realize it was already fall. I suppose I should memorize it.
Told you so.
The "something developing inside" comment is interesting. I had this experience the first time I tripped and now and then since where I have a moment of "spiritual" belief, like not of the abrahamic god or whatever, but not "secular spirituality" life-affirmation whatever either, like a genuine belief in the supernatural. Nothing specific, not like "salvation is happening in 2020" or "my toaster is sentient" but just like a general sense that there are things in the world which aren't governed by physical laws and such (so it's not even really a coherent concept to begin with). It was pretty unnerving at first, because it wasn't like if you asked me if I believed in that I would say yes, "me" as in the thing which forms words to speak and thinks of an "I" doesn't buy into that, it's all about science, atheism, and fedoras or whatever. But then on some intuitive level I did buy into it, like if you could force me into a situation where I had to act as quickly as possible and where the decision somehow rested on whether or not I believe in the divine I'd have acted in the way that suggests belief (that was an awkward sentence to construct, we don't have very expressive language for this kind of thing). It's pretty brief, like I realize it and within a few seconds I'm like "nah, that's hippy-tier nonsense" but it's just strange to have happen. Anyway, I had a fear early on that I was going to develop an enduring belief like that and eventually convert to judaism or something. Like that religiosity had somehow taken root in my soul was working on my mind.
inb4schizophrenia
You should reconnect with your Unitarian Universalist roots (not really). Just wait until the time is right/comes for you to experiment with DMT, this tends to have the biggest impact on people once they have the right experience. I wouldn't have expected this development in you, you seemed like the type to bitterly cling to strict rationalism until the end. -
2015-11-01 at 5:26 PM UTCI planted some poppies a couple days ago and they have already started to sprout. Wonder if they will survive the winter.
Pretty much obsessed with poppies and opiates lately
I also have another project in the works, extracting from coca tea and making it hcl
I'm excited about it. -
2015-11-01 at 10:27 PM UTCHoly shit I'm on a lot of drugs. I'm nearing Kurzweil levels after this latest addition; first time I've felt I may be going overboard. And there are still at least 10 more things I'm currently aware of and want to trial/add. The owner of Ceretropic also stated they had a backlog of 50 new substances they had been waiting to release. Hopefully I don't goof and end up having a serious adverse interaction.
Overview of my stack and substances of interest from 5 months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/comments/372xw0
It's an incredible juggling act, but I've managed to avoid anything life threatening or causing long-term effects. Hoh, "running these by a medical professional", as if anything but a tiny percentage will know a thing about the vast majority of these substances and not merely react out of emotion and assumptions, a precautionary principle. -
2015-11-01 at 10:46 PM UTCTried 4-AcO-DMT for the second time yesterday, think I have a feel for it now. Both times the comeup was pretty brutal, lots of body load, my heart was racing and I was rushing to do everything as if my life depended on it, kept thinking I had messed up the measurement and that it was about to get mind-shatteringly intense. Especially since it's almost instantaneous relative to psychedelics I've tried. After that it was smooth sailing though. It may have just been the dosage but it was a lot less visual that other's I've trie but the mental effects were still there. I didn't get the same urge to go and curl up with music that I usually do so I was able to read and do some work, still have a ton of wikipedia tabs open, and I was digging through someone else's code and I kept feeling like I somehow had a view into their mind, it was pretty shitty though so I felt like detectives in movies who are chasing a murderer and slowing becoming sociopathic themselves, sympathizing with the person they're chasing, except with just writing really byzantine incomprehensible code. It's funny, people talk about AcO being sedating but it sounds and sorta feels more like a stimulant to me in that regard. Tail end was pretty smooth except for some difficulty sleeping even after I thought I was back to baseline, thoughts seemed to flow well, followed them to conclusion, as opposed to the kind of lazy, wandering hypnagogic state.
Oh, and I took your advice malice, did some voice recordings, had some ideas I wanted to remember about a project I've been working on. I'm sure I'm going to die of cringe when I listen to them again. One funny thing is I was talking about haskell-esq "immutable world" semantics, which is just like the idea of recording state change but it poses some issues with recursive "worlds" or like these big state objects which contain themselves or older versions of themselves, both formally and from a performance perspective. Anyway, I'm rambling on about this, how I thought it applied to my problem, and at one point lose my train of thought so I stop the recording, replay it, and realize I'm doing basically what I said in the recording, capturing past state and bringing it forwards. It really amused me so I made another recording laughing about that incident, then I listened to it. Then did it again with respect to the previous recording so I was like caught in a recursive recording loop. Hmm, maybe that's not as funny as I thought, I was pretty amused/freaked out at the time though.You should reconnect with your Unitarian Universalist roots (not really). Just wait until the time is right/comes for you to experiment with DMT, this tends to have the biggest impact on people once they have the right experience. I wouldn't have expected this development in you, you seemed like the type to bitterly cling to strict rationalism until the end.
I've kicked around the idea, UUs are (arguably) perfectly amenable atheistic members, they did a survey and found that together the number of members who identified as either atheist or secular humanist made up like 60% of the greater congregation. I remember going to church as a kid, just enjoying it because it was like part of a ritual, people seemed happy, I got to play with blocks and listen to stories and shit. Even as a young teenager I'd sit in on the sermons, it was a nice feelgood message, sometimes it covered something I actually found challenging. They do have a kind of core creed that's intentionally very vague and kinds rubs me the wrong way, they actually have a stated commitment to democracy which obviously isn't my cup of tea.
I've gone to the church of John Coltrane before, mostly because it's a novelty and I like the music. I can see the value in it though. I wonder if there's anything like an existentialist pseudo-church. Probably all too into radical freedom and shit to participate in organized activity. Kierkegaard was a christian though, so I guess it's not out of the question.I planted some poppies a couple days ago and they have already started to sprout. Wonder if they will survive the winter.
Pretty much obsessed with poppies and opiates lately
I also have another project in the works, extracting from coca tea and making it hcl
I'm excited about it.
How much light do poppies need? What's a typical yield per square foot?
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2015-11-01 at 10:57 PM UTC
How much light do poppies need? What's a typical yield per square foot?
Full sun, and fuck if I know. I do know that they need to be thinned out, 1 plant per sq. ft. These are tasmanian seeds and I don't even know what color the flower is going to be. I do know that they are going to have potent pods.
A female acquaintence is letting me plant them all over her privacy-fenced backyard. -
2015-11-02 at 12:03 AM UTCI know how you normies (fags) tend to like your sporting events. Did you know that they're streaming them in virtual reality now?
The Future Of Watching Football is Virtual Reality | NFL Next
Imagine experiencing x row seats at a fraction of the price. The way the visual data is captured, video recorded, allows you to turn your head as if you're actually there, so you aren't just forced to stare forward all the time, your field of view isn't limited to just a single point as if you were only staring in one direction.
Something interesting was brought up in the comments, although I'm not qualified to comment on it, whether this is accurate or feasible:
https://www.reddit.com/r/oculus/comments/3r310d/the_future_of_watching_football_is_virtual_reality/Man, once 3d light field recording gets good enough, that's going to change everything. Imagine if you configured a stadium with like 128+ lightfield cameras around the field, and if we're able to process and compile that data fast enough, you could essentially move your avatar around the live football stadium as if it were a game being rendered on your PC. Imagine what you could do with that!!!
And of course it's only going to get better and more affordable as time goes on. The tech sector is the fastest moving/developing as far as I know (could be wrong, but it's likely at least close to the top). The filthy plebeians never appreciate the blessings, the new fruit mercifully cast down to them, of the tech sector gods. -
2015-11-02 at 12:16 AM UTC
And of course it's only going to get better and more affordable as time goes on. The tech sector is the fastest moving/developing as far as I know (could be wrong, but it's likely at least close to the top). The filthy plebeians never appreciate the blessings, the new fruit mercifully cast down to them, of the tech sector gods.
Quoting for later use. -
2015-11-02 at 3:56 AM UTCChrist, methylene blue is blue as fuck. It is used as a biological stain/dye, but I'm surprised at how effective even a milligram is. Using it sublingually to avoid its effect on gut bacteria. Not sure how relevant it is at various dosages, but it can have very strong antibacterial/microbial/fungal effects which could upset the gut microbiome. I'm also not sure whether it has any active or superior metabolites produced by hepatic (liver) metabolism.
Related to ROA, I'm planning to make a request for a crowdsourced compilation of a list of substances/nootropics and the bioavailability and (possible) effects of metabolism and other differences caused by different ROAs. Effects of taking it on an empty stomach or with a (large) (fatty) meal, which is optimal/recommended, optimal dosage and cycle/timing of dosage(s), different effects at various tiers of dosages
It's easy to find information about effects, but information about the effects of these variables are much less clear. So, basically, when I'm trialing a new substance the questions I often have are: What is the bioavailability for the various ROAs, should it be taken on an empty stomach or does a (large) (fatty) meal increase absorption (many fat soluble substances don't actually need to be taken with fat), does the digestive process have any effects on it due to stomach acid, some other aspect of the stomach or intestinal environment, or hepatic metabolism, what are the effects at various tiers of dosages, what is the optimal dose for the effects I want - how do I determine the optimal dose and estimate what it may be based on what I know about my personal biology, which can be based off of observations, behavioral correlations, or genetic information from services such as 23andme, what the half-life/excretion curve is for various ROAs, information regarding the different effects of various dosages throughout the day, whether one large dose or multiple is most effective.
Ergh, so many variables, autism overload. Dammit, I can't wait until we have neural implants/interfaces and can surpass our biological limitations.
Hmm, may have felt the methylene blue kick in, it's quite nice. IIRC it has a very positive effect on cognitive function via its impact on neurological mitochondria function. It increases ATP synthesis, has anti-fungal properties past the blood brain barrier, which is one of the reasons why it's appeared so promising in some studies done on Alzheimer's, is a strong neuroprotectant, and is a weak and reversible inhibitor or MAO-A. Cognitive efficiency and endurance, that's how I would describe the main effects it's purported and anecdotally reported to have, and that is a good description of what I'm feeling. It's definitely not like the feeling from stimulants (Oh wait, I can't really remember the brain specific feeling strong dopaminergic stimulants tend to have), it's subtler and smoother. There's definitely a feeling that something's going on in the brain, that there's been a shift, almost like a pleasant mild tingling. There's a lot of interesting information on r/nootropics and Longecity, I need to read more to get a better handle of it. There are always users that delve deeply into it and being up fascinating obscure studies showing various effects and potential for treating disorders. -
2015-11-02 at 5:48 AM UTCI've never really gotten into Star Wars, although I have seen all the films, but this was surprisingly fun to read: https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3qvj6w/theory_jar_jar_binks_was_a_trained_force_user/
And there may be something to it. It's going to be pretty amusing if it actually turns out to be true, this could be the greatest troll of all time. -
2015-11-02 at 8:13 AM UTC
You've posted videos from Life is Strange's ST a couple of times although I don't remember if they're the same track or not. Have you played it? What did you think? I remember the early release trailers vaguely and figured it was going to be some pathetic shutin-fodder trying to sell with an overly-cute depressive-pixie-girlfriend (maybe it was just the girl on all the covers looking like whats-her-tits from bioshock infinity) but reviews seem pretty positive since.
I want an overly cute pixie gf tbh fam ;_;. But i haven't played it, i shall though because my buddy from molesterchan says it's awesome as well. Looks bretty gewd. -
2015-11-02 at 4:51 PM UTCWell, got kicked out my house. Apparently me making a bonfire was "disturbing the other residents". It was a damn good fire. Well worth it. Moving in with an mcat dealer tomorrow, their neighbour sells weed too so I'm moving up in the world.
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2015-11-02 at 9:10 PM UTC
I know how you normies (fags) tend to like your sporting events. Did you know that they're streaming them in virtual reality now?
looks pretty amazing but not getting my hopes up. Also nothing will actually beat going to the stadium and getting drunk with fellow fans or singing neo-nazi songs with ur mates and beating pakis after the game if ur european.
The Future Of Watching Football is Virtual Reality | NFL Next
Imagine experiencing x row seats at a fraction of the price. The way the visual data is captured, video recorded, allows you to turn your head as if you're actually there, so you aren't just forced to stare forward all the time, your field of view isn't limited to just a single point as if you were only staring in one direction.
Something interesting was brought up in the comments, although I'm not qualified to comment on it, whether this is accurate or feasible:
https://www.reddit.com/r/oculus/comments/3r310d/the_future_of_watching_football_is_virtual_reality/
And of course it's only going to get better and more affordable as time goes on. The tech sector is the fastest moving/developing as far as I know (could be wrong, but it's likely at least close to the top). The filthy plebeians never appreciate the blessings, the new fruit mercifully cast down to them, of the tech sector gods. -
2015-11-02 at 10 PM UTCIt's like almost nighttime and I've only smoked 1 joint all day and taken no other drugs, I don't think this has happened since before the summer, it actually feels pretty weird, I'm so tired and my bodys so empty I could pass out but I have to remove my light socket to put in a fake outlet stash thing someone gave me. My gf is an insane whore who knows I've cheated on her several times but still wants my lil nigga baby. All the people around me are stupid, fake and gay. I like how Malice takes a billion drugs a day to overcompensate for his lack of human characteristics. It's more sad than anything. I'd like to study malice in his natural environment sometime, I'd have to take a lot of drugs to sit still but it could be done. Just thinking about Malice is pretty depressing, holy fuck is it ever hard to have so little dope in my system, havent taken oxycontin for 2 days so I had a solid shit fuck ya rock n roll
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2015-11-03 at 1:06 AM UTC
Well, got kicked out my house. Apparently me making a bonfire was "disturbing the other residents". It was a damn good fire. Well worth it. Moving in with an mcat dealer tomorrow, their neighbour sells weed too so I'm moving up in the world.
Steal from both of them and then set it up to where they blame each other.
