Originally posted by tee hee hee
Well maybe you should have specified that in your opening post. 😞
You’re right, I should have. You can punish me if you want, free of charge, any method you like. In fact, I’ll pay you for the privilege. Just promise you’ll hurt me deep and I’ll remember you until I die, honey.
And I’ll still wash the curtains.
Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING V: A Cat-Girl/Boy Under Every Bed
$150, I want you to live under my bed and pretend to be a cat.
You will be responsible for sourcing, cleaning and repairing your uniform, which will be as follows:
Please get back to me with your acceptance.
Offer accepted. I’m boarding a transatlantic flight as you read this post.
Originally posted by GGG
How much for your bottom right premolars?
Is 30 enough?
$30 is plenty, but I’d ask that you also take the bottom left for symmetry and sew everything up when you’re finished with the extractions. When I go in to see my dentist next week, I intend to gaslight her into believing I had fewer teeth than she remembers.
Originally posted by stl1
Can you jump over an 8 foot fence?
I’ll do it in the nude, hopping on one foot. It can be lined with razor wire and/or any other traps you require. I’m not sure whether I’ll be successful, and the uncertainty is very arousing. I expect that I’ll be fully erect for the occasion. Show me the money, and this experience can be yours forever.
Originally posted by gadzooks
Are organs up for grabs?
I'll take a kidney and a portion of the liver.
Organs are available while supplies last.
Originally posted by GGG
Fuck gadzooks.
I'll give you 100 for the kidneys and liver.
I would’ve taken this tbh but you niggas kept going.
Originally posted by gadzooks
I bid $150.
(ITT we auction off Zanick's body piece by piece).
Also an acceptable offer.
Originally posted by GGG
200.
You flatter me!
Originally posted by GGG
Zanick is gonna end up considerably dismembered and disabled for less than 500 lol
No turning back tho. A man sticks to his word, and Zanick is indeed a hell of a MAN
It’s really more about the thrilling prospect of mutilation and prostitution, no dollar amount could satisfy me.
The disfigurement of my penis was an introduction into a world of excellent pain.
Originally posted by gadzooks
I bid $10,000 for the whole package.
Just so I can preserve his freedom (but I will take a kidney, tho, and put that shit on ice for later).
I appreciate the generous bid and I accept, but I’d first need your assurance that I’d be free to continue with this business endeavor after my body is yours.
Originally posted by ohfralala
I would like to slide a lubed banana into your anus while you breathlessly whisper Karen.
Free of charge.
I’m kind hearted and compassionate.
Originally posted by ohfralala
Oh wait you’re trying to make money here. I’ll give you $200.
Offer accepted! Just don’t ask me to eat the banana. I’ll do it if you do, but I don’t like bananas.
(I would’ve done it for free but you put this in writing, and I am still an attorney in some states.)
Originally posted by mmQ
I'll drop a $50 to slice off your feet with a rusty razor blade.
Deal, but you have to do something creative with them afterward or I’m donating the money to a charity that takes care of orphans.
If you fulfill your end, I’ll dress up a homeless couple and pay them to feign interest in adoption and then back out at a maximally damaging moment for the kids.
Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING V: A Cat-Girl/Boy Under Every Bed
I want to up my offer to a can of tuna OR salmon daily.*
Also ad lib/unlimited cat nuts.
This is a sweet deal Zanny don't pass it up.
*subject to purring pleasingly when I rub your fur
What the fuck, you can’t change the terms after I get on the plane. Sorry, but I am morally obligated to refuse this offer. You were better off the first time. If you can make an offer that includes soy products, I will gladly accept.
Unfortunately, I’ve already created quite a ruckus trying to eject myself from the flight. You’ll have to wait a couple of days while I sort out the ensuing legal complications of my actions.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
User, inflnityshock ripped off lanny the trannys granny panty to give him a whammy in his faggy saggy fanny then made him say 'spank me daddy' and sold him to a nappy KKK picaninny to be his nutsack-nanny in the KKK all day, has been blocked.
GGG
victim of incest
[my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
Originally posted by Sudo
I'll send you $8 to sit with me while we watch the entire run of "Nathan for you" because nobody wants to watch this show with me
That's because that guy looks like he's in jr high
tee hee hee
Naturally Camouflaged
[slangily complete this slumberer]
Originally posted by Zanick
You’re right, I should have. You can punish me if you want, free of charge, any method you like. In fact, I’ll pay you for the privilege. Just promise you’ll hurt me deep and I’ll remember you until I die, honey.
