Okay I'm deeply offended that no one congratulated my "trick dick- tech deck" joke. I mean were you not alive in 1999? If white and Mexican kids weren't fucking around with little finger skateboard s during class- I think not. In fact, I question whether you've lived a day in your life.
:harrumph:
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
High. Staying up so I can get some stuff done as soon as places open tomorrow, then try to get in a few hours before work.
Just grateful. It's kind of unreal how "not myself" I've been for 15 years or more. And all of a sudden, it's just like a fog lifted and all at once I remembered who I was. I'm an amazing friend. I care about people. I'm good at a ton of different stuff. I'm generally articulate and well reasoned, and I didn't actually break my brain (maybe just a few IQ points).
Even when I was clean before, it was always a white-knuckle, skin-of-your-teeth kind of sobriety. As long as I could keep myself distracted, I was okay. It made me physically anxious to imagine a future in which I didn't have drugs to help me deal with shit. But today, I know that I'll never do heroin again. It wouldn't mean any particular thing if i did, and it'd just mean having to refocus and find something to work towards, but it wouldn't mean I had lost anything. In addiction and sobriety, there's this constant vigilance that any one thing could set you off, and that failure means you lose all the progress you made, and start over again. But failure for me was growth. With that toxic sunk cost fallacy mindset, I was able to drag out 13 years of bullshit that I should've grown out of a decade ago. It doesn't mean we forget them, but when we constantly flagellate ourselves for our mistakes, you miss out on that transformative energy. When you can't see anything outside, and the situation you're in is already bad without hope for it getting better anytime soon- you feel like what you do doesn't matter. When you're in it, it's easy to rationalize continuing to make poor choices. Like if I'm in a cell by myself and no one will answer, I might as well shit on the floor. And since I already shit on the floor, might as well do it next time. I'll just have to deal with the shit later. Going back to doing heroin would be like having the door opened, and walking outside into an open field and then choosing to walk back inside and pulling the door shut behind me. /solid, not-high analogy
Anyway. I'm high and I'm suddenly very self aware that I sound like one of those faggotty motivational speakers.
I feel gud. I eated cottage cheese and then some peanut butter chocolate mini wheats and then some habanero onion sweet pickles. My tummy hurt.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
Originally posted by Technologist
Casper, Where’s my breakfast? I’m hungry. It’s almost 7:30 EST. I’ll get your errands done, gimme all yo money!
Fair enough. Breakfast is In the skillet....butter scone with fresh strawberry jam and churned butter, light scrambled eggs with charred tomato basil ratatouille, corn grits and crispy oven potatoes, tossed with olive oil, garlic and rosemary.
Tell that Nigerian fuck if he offers me $50 on another iPhone 7 I'm going to stab him in the taint with a pencil.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
Originally posted by HTS
Feeling pretty shaken right now. Had a nightmare last night in which I got socially humiliated and then also shit my pants in public.
