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What would be your course of action if you shit your pants on an airplane?
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2019-02-05 at 3:28 AM UTC
Originally posted by Ajax Is this the kind of shit that stumps you guys? Pun intended.
The consistency of the shit would determine the urgency of your response. With limited options, there’s only so much you can do. Go to the bathroom, take off your pants and underwear and clean yourself up. Discard your underwear, which hopefully contained the majority of your shit. Again, depends on consistency.
If all else fails, order some alcohol and spill it on your pants. You would then at least smell like booze instead of shit. At worst, you would smell like a drunk who shat himself and you can blame it on the booze.
I like it. To add, I'd just suggest getting blackout drunk as fast as possible and forgetting the whole thing ever happened!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-02-05 at 3:29 AM UTC
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2019-02-05 at 3:34 PM UTC
Originally posted by Ajax Is this the kind of shit that stumps you guys? Pun intended.
The consistency of the shit would determine the urgency of your response. With limited options, there’s only so much you can do. Go to the bathroom, take off your pants and underwear and clean yourself up. Discard your underwear, which hopefully contained the majority of your shit. Again, depends on consistency.
If all else fails, order some alcohol and spill it on your pants. You would then at least smell like booze instead of shit. At worst, you would smell like a drunk who shat himself and you can blame it on the booze.
and sue the airline and booze company for lack of proper warning label. -
2019-02-05 at 4:03 PM UTCYou have to first alert the flight attendant that you've shat your pants, then you would follow the attendant's instructions.
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2019-02-05 at 4:06 PM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL You have to first alert the flight attendant that you've shat your pants, then you would follow the attendant's instructions.
was this you ?
https://nypost.com/2019/01/21/flight-attendant-says-overweight-passenger-forced-her-to-wipe-his-butt/ -
2019-02-05 at 4:10 PM UTCSoyboy IV: The Flower of Death and The Crystal of Life African Astronaut [the oppositely able-bodied hop-step-and-jump]
Originally posted by vindicktive vinny was this you ?
https://nypost.com/2019/01/21/flight-attendant-says-overweight-passenger-forced-her-to-wipe-his-butt/
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2019-02-05 at 4:12 PM UTC
Originally posted by vindicktive vinny was this you ?
https://nypost.com/2019/01/21/flight-attendant-says-overweight-passenger-forced-her-to-wipe-his-butt/
No, but that IS the protocol. -
2019-02-05 at 4:15 PM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ And youre flying alone and your carry on doesn't have clothes.
I guess just fucking roll with it? Pretend it isn't you and act disgusted by those around you?
Just don't give a fuck cause it's my own plane, perhaps put it on autopilot for a bit, take it off then do some aerial bombardment.
For real though I'd go to the bathroom, take it off then block their toilet with it. -
2019-02-05 at 4:16 PM UTCSoyboy IV: The Flower of Death and The Crystal of Life African Astronaut [the oppositely able-bodied hop-step-and-jump]
TBH I'm surprised that is news I thought they would have to do things like that quite a bit
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2019-02-05 at 4:18 PM UTC**WANTED**
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
- must be OK with wiping customers' arses of the shit and piss they sometimes leak
- apply within -
2019-02-05 at 4:26 PM UTCSoyboy IV: The Flower of Death and The Crystal of Life African Astronaut [the oppositely able-bodied hop-step-and-jump]
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2019-02-05 at 4:41 PM UTCIf I owned an airline my policy would be to kick anyone that shits themselves out of the plane.
That said I bet those flight attendants would've given the man a tug if he were brave enough to ask. -
2019-02-05 at 5:16 PM UTC
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2019-02-05 at 5:22 PM UTC
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2019-02-05 at 5:39 PM UTC
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2019-02-05 at 6:04 PM UTCSimple. Excuse myself to the restroom, wipe my shitty ass, flush shitty boxers down the toilet. Use the generic handsoap and water/paper towels to freshen up my ass cheeks if any shit was mushed onto them from when I shit my pants while sitting down, and then return to my seat acting as if nothing occurred. When I landed, I'd buy some boxers somewhere at the airport and change in the bathroom.
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2019-02-05 at 6:07 PM UTCI always fly in a body bag in the baggage holding compartment
economical and feces does not stick to the plastic -
2019-02-06 at 7:02 AM UTC
Originally posted by Grimace Simple. Excuse myself to the restroom, wipe my shitty ass, flush shitty boxers down the toilet. Use the generic handsoap and water/paper towels to freshen up my ass cheeks if any shit was mushed onto them from when I shit my pants while sitting down, and then return to my seat acting as if nothing occurred. When I landed, I'd buy some boxers somewhere at the airport and change in the bathroom.
Originally posted by Grimace Simple. Excuse myself to the restroom, wipe my shitty ass, flush shitty boxers down the toilet. Use the generic handsoap and water/paper towels to freshen up my ass cheeks if any shit was mushed onto them from when I shit my pants while sitting down, and then return to my seat acting as if nothing occurred. When I landed, I'd buy some boxers somewhere at the airport and change in the bathroom.
but what if its the liquid kind ?
they type you thought were farts that you gladly and gleefully released but turned out to be liquids. -
2019-02-06 at 7:06 AM UTCnone of or you can even afford to fly let alone visit anyone who cares about you
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2019-02-06 at 8:05 AM UTC
