What would be your course of action if you shit your pants on an airplane?

1. 2019-02-04 at 9:02 PM UTC

   #1
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   And youre flying alone and your carry on doesn't have clothes.
   
   I guess just fucking roll with it? Pretend it isn't you and act disgusted by those around you?
2. 2019-02-04 at 9:05 PM UTC

   #2
   

   Archer513 African Astronaut
   I always wear a diaper on a plane
   
   Mostly because I board drunk,but if a shit happens...
3. 2019-02-04 at 9:07 PM UTC

   #3
   tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
   Hahaha...? 😣
4. 2019-02-04 at 9:09 PM UTC

   #4
   

   mikeyagain African Astronaut [unalterably regard the persecutor]
   I would wipe it off with the fag stewards panties..
5. 2019-02-04 at 9:24 PM UTC

   #5
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by tee hee hee Hahaha…? 😣

   
   Yeah? Is that your answer? Just sit there laughing uncomfortably in question form?
6. 2019-02-04 at 9:28 PM UTC

   #6
   tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
   No! I'd be distressed. 😔
7. 2019-02-04 at 9:38 PM UTC

   #7
   

   Mahmoud Houston
   I would collect my garments and faeces and excuse myself to the restroom. There is no need to prolong the inevitable, nor claim shame for what is undoubtedly just a predicament you must now overcome.
8. 2019-02-04 at 9:42 PM UTC

   #8
   

   Bologna Nacho African Astronaut
   I'd be like
   I should have took the train.
9. 2019-02-04 at 9:54 PM UTC

   #9
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by Archer513 I always wear a diaper on a plane
   
   Mostly because I board drunk,but if a shit happens…

   
   Not a terrible idea. I used to work with a cook we called The Grouse, who'd wear a diaper on the line in case he had to piss himself from the copious amounts of vodka he'd drink before and during work. Good man.
10. 2019-02-04 at 9:55 PM UTC

    #10
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by Mahmoud I would collect my garments and faeces and excuse myself to the restroom. There is no need to prolong the inevitable, nor claim shame for what is undoubtedly just a predicament you must now overcome.

    
    And then what? Sit in the bathroom the rest of the flight? Would you ANNOUNCE yourself and apologize the other passengers?
11. 2019-02-04 at 10:02 PM UTC

    #11
    

    Needledick Needledick Needledick motherfucker [mulishly down your brachydactylia]
    Go to the bathroom and clean it up the best I can, tuck the shitstained part between my asscheek to try to stop smelling.
12. 2019-02-04 at 10:03 PM UTC

    #12
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by NeedledickNeedledickNeedledick tuck the shitstained part between my asscheek to try to stop smelling.

    
    
13. 2019-02-04 at 10:05 PM UTC

    #13
    

    Needledick Needledick Needledick motherfucker [mulishly down your brachydactylia]
    asscheeks* 🙄
14. 2019-02-04 at 10:48 PM UTC

    #14
    

    vindicktive vinny Black Hole
    use the vomit bag.
15. 2019-02-04 at 11:13 PM UTC

    #15
    larrylegend8383 Naturally Camouflaged
    Run with it. Literally.
16. 2019-02-04 at 11:27 PM UTC

    #16
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny use the vomit bag.

    
    ..as intended.
17. 2019-02-04 at 11:29 PM UTC

    #17
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by larrylegend8383 Run with it. Literally.

    
    Larry would jog up and down the aisles, embracing the shit. Check.
18. 2019-02-05 at 12:15 AM UTC

    #18
    

    Mahmoud Houston

    Originally posted by mmQ And then what? Sit in the bathroom the rest of the flight? Would you ANNOUNCE yourself and apologize the other passengers?

    
    If I have any spare garments, I would don them. Then go back to my seat and continue enjoying my flight.
19. 2019-02-05 at 3:18 AM UTC

    #19
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    Is this the kind of shit that stumps you guys? Pun intended.
    
    The consistency of the shit would determine the urgency of your response. With limited options, there’s only so much you can do. Go to the bathroom, take off your pants and underwear and clean yourself up. Discard your underwear, which hopefully contained the majority of your shit. Again, depends on consistency.
    
    If all else fails, order some alcohol and spill it on your pants. You would then at least smell like booze instead of shit. At worst, you would smell like a drunk who shat himself and you can blame it on the booze.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • mmQ, 
    • A College Professor
20. 2019-02-05 at 3:18 AM UTC

    #20
    

    Jackrabbitpsych African Astronaut
    Totally blame someone else