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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2015-08-13 at 9:34 PM UTCis it like acid?
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2015-08-13 at 9:37 PM UTC
is it like acid?
Yes drop it, and you'll turn into a puddle of fractals. Literally. -
2015-08-13 at 9:52 PM UTC
I see all is normal here.
Things have begun to chill out here some. Getting the MIL's health issues squared away so she can work more. Other than that been working alot myself. my old therpaist I told you guys about left and my new one is ok but not nearly as young. :(
I'm hoping to get on some kind of mood stabilizer. Yesterday I was ready suck the barrel of a gun and woke up today feeling good and optimistic and shit. Also the anxiety attacks after sex seem to have stopped (hooray)
I fucking rooted my phone last night and after removing the factory bloatware it wouldn't open apps and shit so I had to flash it back to a factory image of ICS which actually works better than the last flash of ICS I had on it before. Also if any of you fuckers are poor/thrifty look into Freedompop for phone service or just use google hangouts and hangouts dialer over wifi.
Interesting that you mention anxiety after sex. I noticed a mark increase in general anxiety after ejaculation, likely due to the elevation in prolactin afterward. Some people in the nofap community have made the connection between this and the decrease in (social) anxiety, in part likely also due to the boost in testosterone, and there's probably some merit to this idea. You may produce excess amounts or have a stronger response to it than normal: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prolac...levated_levels
The stress from your MIL may have pushed you over the edge.
As for a mood stabilizer, this may interest you and could be easy to get due to being non-abusable and not a precursor: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topiramate
You'll note that it's been trialed for: "obesity[14][15] and antipsychotic-induced weight gain. The drug is also used in clinical trials to treat post traumatic stress disorder.[20] Recent clinical reports indicate that it may have mood stabilizing properties.[23]"
It effects the GABAergic system as well. Someone on a nootropic community who had been asking me questions about PEH, an anxiolytic I made a popular thread on, and was working to try to have t synthesized, mentioned this to me. He told me that a friend used it and found it very anxiolytic, and he did as well, described it as "meditation in a pill". BrandMedicines also has it at an affordable price if you want to trial it first.
I'd also highly recommend giving memantine a try, A few other people here have tried it and found it helpful. If you look up reports on r/nootropics and longecity some of them are really remarkable, it can treat a wide array of disorders better than anything they had previously tried before: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memantine#Research
It will regulate the excess glutamate, which is counterbalanced by GABA, which you are deficient in. Excess glutamate is implicated in many disorders relevant to you, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and the associated hyper-vigilance and sensory overload. I highly recommend you try it, from the domestic bulk powder source we used it's only $50 total for 10 grams, and doses are 20mg at most for most people, some going as high as 40mg, with a very long half-life. -
2015-08-13 at 10:04 PM UTCah, one of those superacids. I didn't really pay attention to the name of what you typed, I just thought it was some sort of drug precursor, which they have a lot of on the 'darknet'.
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2015-08-13 at 10:06 PM UTCBitches don't know 'bout my prolactin levels.
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2015-08-14 at 3:02 AM UTC
I'd also highly recommend giving memantine a try, A few other people here have tried it and found it helpful. If you look up reports on r/nootropics and longecity some of them are really remarkable, it can treat a wide array of disorders better than anything they had previously tried before: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memantine#Research
for real. memantine is great. The only nootropic I've found to actually do what it claims.
It will regulate the excess glutamate, which is counterbalanced by GABA, which you are deficient in. Excess glutamate is implicated in many disorders relevant to you, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and the associated hyper-vigilance and sensory overload. I highly recommend you try it, from the domestic bulk powder source we used it's only $50 total for 10 grams, and doses are 20mg at most for most people, some going as high as 40mg, with a very long half-life. -
2015-08-14 at 3:28 AM UTCyou guys get like, scared after you nut?
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2015-08-14 at 7:02 AM UTC@golum
I've been looking for a sustainable sleep aid for like years, nothing you can reliably get works very well but by sticking a bunch of shit together you can make it work pretty well. Valerian is the best thing I've found for regular use and making you feel drowsy and able to sleep baring anything interfering but it isn't really strong enough to knock you the fuck out like you sometimes need. Melatonin is pretty dope in the sense that it make you feel pretty sleepy within an hour of taking it (good combo with valerian) and keeps you down for a while but the downsides are that if you have to wake up before 8-10 hours you feel groggy as a motherfucker and if you take it too regularly it makes some people depressed as all fucking hell (I've never in my life contemplated suicide so seriously as when I took melatonin every day for a week, I was in a blunted daze for like a week afterwards). I keep a benzo (etzi, but I'm sure other would work) on hard for when you really need to sleep but it's just not happening and a good indica ("good" being the important part here, bottom shelf shit doesn't do the trick, if you're paying less than $15 a gram (medical prices) you're probably not getting what you need), which is useful for when you're somewhere between the regular and "gotta fucking sleep or else, benzos take my soul" kind of nights.You can also pick up some zzzquil OTC, it's never done much for me but then some people are just non-responders, just beware you can't take it on any regular basis, gotta cycle it with other shit.
@PoC
What psychedelics have you tried? First time I tried an LSD analogue was a few months ago and I've had an enduring sense of a nebulous "purpose" or just generalized well being since then (although I've tripped fairly frequently since). Like I used to think the whole "a trip shows you what you need to see" idea was kinda BS but in my experience a good trip really does bring up the greatest objects of obsession in my mind and present a unique opportunity to confront and resolve them. My experience with depression is pretty limited and it can definitely be uncomfortable sometimes but I figure if you've been living with that shit for so long a crazy ass trip, even the worst trip you could have, to see what you can see can't be that bad relative to what the day-to-day has been.What a painful character to listen to, at least I keep myself away from people and don't say anything, but I don't think I'm naturally nearly that bad.
Haha, I know that feel mang. When I see characters in shows and shit (or even real people) doing neurotic/autistic/whatever shit I can't help but imposing myself on them and feeling a kind of sympathetic shame. It's bad, just makes me tense my muscles and vaguely want to run from the room. Sometimes I'll feel an impulse to tease/bully people I see doing things I think "I'd do that if I were alone/less self conscious" and it's pretty hard to stop. It's like that scene in fruits basket about hating people who remind you of your own flaws or whatever.Should have the opium within two weeks. It really is incredible that such a large percentage of the population lacks the capacity for a such a simple process. Would you like to try some, Lanny? You would have to wait at a specific time and place on your knees with your mouth open and eyes closed, within 20 seconds a stranger you will never see will drop the solution, enough for a very enjoyable evaluation, into your mouth. You will have to trust that they will now poison you. You don't think I would do that, do you?
I don't think you would poison me and would _almost_ be willing to bet my life on it but considering how trivial it would be to but some god damned opium I would never do it. Money is cheap mang, life is costly.Things have begun to chill out here some. Getting the MIL's health issues squared away so she can work more. Other than that been working alot myself. my old therpaist I told you guys about left and my new one is ok but not nearly as young. :(
New therapist is also a chick? Just out of curiousity what would you think of a guy therapist, would you talk to them?
I was thinking about it and like I tend to associate like "good listening skills" (lol) and empathy and stuff with women so I feel like a gal would be better as a therapist but I mean I'm faggy enough to give a guy a shot if that's who ended up being my shrink. -
2015-08-14 at 7:05 AM UTC
for real. memantine is great. The only nootropic I've found to actually do what it claims.
this lol, although I started about the time you did and I'm still on a 5mg dose and still feeling the effects. Malice has claimed human variation for dose differences, I'm obviously only one data point, but I suspect the typical alzheimer's protocol is just about the optimum for relatively healthy adults. -
2015-08-14 at 7:07 AM UTCI've noticed that women tend to be very passive and risk-adverse, which can be very ineffective with people who can be hard to reach, who need serious initiative, or in situations where time is important ad you can't spend months gradually easing into something. They also tend to prefer small talk much more, talking about things that have nothing to do with what their job is supposed to be.
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2015-08-14 at 7:21 AM UTC"I'm, the dour in dowry,
I'm your boyfriend"
I saw two pieces of graffiti on my way to work today. The first was "The G8 Nations are approaching final judgment, the USA is fucked" and the second was "I <3 pussy" where <3 was a heart shape. I saw the first and legitimately wanted to punch the person who drew it, may not kill them but fucking hurt them at least. Doomsday thinking is what can fuck out civilization more than any actual meaningful event.The second made me laugh. The raw, crude, honest expression seemed authentic. I walked past a young woman shortly after, a few inches shorter than me, blonde hair, sun glasses and a long patterned skirt. I thought to myself "watchout blood, some nigga loves pussy and he'd prolly love yours too" as I walked past her. I like that dumb faggots who draw shit on random surfaces somehow have an ability to impose themselves on my consciousness, it's a nice refreshing change from a world in which I increasingly control my situation. Some of the wealthiest men in this city still have to walk by and see "I love pussy" on their way to work to lord over hundreds of thousands of employees they think they control for money just as I have to in order to lord over my tiny dominion.
Damn, I'd almost be a democrat if only I were a little dumber. -
2015-08-14 at 7:39 AM UTCWoah, I wonder if it was this guy (dat autism memory): https://www.reddit.com/r/sanfrancisc...7et/we_hungry/
Isn't it so fitting? It's funny that something like this was noteworthy enough to write about, and the picture I saw on my reddit feed from r/sanfrancisco was noteworthy enough for me to remember (Even I tend to remember random images, I think. Although something specifically related to them could trigger it.) and make this connection.
Also brings to mind this description I read of what vaginas feel like:Rub your tongue on the inside of your bottom lip. Its feels like that but warmer, wetter and tighter, oh and its on your cock so it feels amazing.Rub your tongue on the inside of your bottom lip. Its feels like that but warmer, wetter and tighter, oh and its on your cock so it feels amazing.[FONT=Verdana]
That does sound like it feels great.[/FONT]
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2015-08-14 at 11:38 AM UTCI won poker last night. $40. Feels pretty good.
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2015-08-14 at 2:28 PM UTC
. I walked past a young woman shortly after, a few inches shorter than me, blonde hair, sun glasses and a long patterned skirt. I thought to myself "watchout blood, some nigga loves pussy and he'd prolly love yours too" as I walked past her
I lol'd. -
2015-08-14 at 2:31 PM UTC
That does sound like it feels great.
Lol malice is a virgin. How old are you anyway? -
2015-08-14 at 3:14 PM UTCI think my weight has finally plateaued thank fuck. Due to my actually working out every day most likely. If I had any sort of self control when it comes to food I'd probably look pretty fucking good right now. Looking back at pictures from a few months back I was skeleton spooky mode.
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2015-08-14 at 4:10 PM UTCOculus fucked up with the mediocre resolution, makes solid simulation of computer screens basically impossible which would be an amazing application. Imagine a desktop with some shitty $20 CRT you use for booting and as soon as you got it running you could fire up a simulation of like a 6 array of virtual desktops or something. You could be in some shitty cubicle or something but enjoy working and web browsing or whatever in a fancy italian villa or at the top of a newyork high rise or something.
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2015-08-14 at 4:53 PM UTC
Oculus fucked up with the mediocre resolution, makes solid simulation of computer screens basically impossible which would be an amazing application. Imagine a desktop with some shitty $20 CRT you use for booting and as soon as you got it running you could fire up a simulation of like a 6 array of virtual desktops or something. You could be in some shitty cubicle or something but enjoy working and web browsing or whatever in a fancy italian villa or at the top of a newyork high rise or something.
or, you could be sitting in a fancy italian villa and enjoy the illusion of working in a shithole cubicle -
2015-08-14 at 7:38 PM UTChttps://lockedinprism.bandcamp.com/album/perception-not-delusion
new album, put alot of effort into it, can u guys check it out, free of course, full instrumentation n shit -
2015-08-14 at 8:19 PM UTCwhoever did the 'percussion' in that version of 'mongoloid' should be taken out back and shot
the timing on that guitar work is pretty decent, though.
