2019-01-26 at 10:59 PM UTC
Hello NIS,
I’d say its been 8 or 9 years since the last time I rammed a stick of butter up my ass while jerking off and fingering my asshole. I did it because it felt really good but that’s not the point of this story. I want to tell you of the events proceeding this fateful masturbation.
I’m sitting there watching The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and around 15 minutes go by and I feel a sticky wetness on my ass cheeks and ballsack. This is when I realized that the butter I had shoved up my asshole had melted and leaked out onto my couch and it had a very distinct putrid stench to it. It had mixed with my shit to create something far worse than shit. It was probably the worst thing I’ve smelt in all my life. It actually smelt many times worse than the time I had stuck a pickle up my asshole and forgot about until the morning after.
While standing there taking in this wonderfully putrid smell I realize that I cannot be the only one to smell this. So I walked quickly upstairs with my ass cheeks clenched not wanting to spill a drop of my shit butter. I pull out from my sock drawer a heavy woolen sock and unload the contents of my asshole into it. I thought the smell was bad before. I now had the urge to do a barrel roll out my window to escape the horrid odor. I quickly tied the top of the sock and left my house.
As I walked down the street a brownish-yellow liquid slowly dripped from the bottom of the sock. The neighborhood kids became very curious as to what was going on and as they approached they caught a whiff of the putrid smell emanating from the sock. This is when Joanna, my neighbors 13 year old daughter vomited what looked like a freshly eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich all over the street. I nearly came in my pants at that moment. I had the sickest hard on. In fact the only thing keeping me from raping Joanna while she lay in a pool of her own vomit was my sock full of shit butter. I knew I had something to do and I was damn sure going to do it. I kept walking.
I finally made it to my local grocery store. An epic journey it had been. Every asshole in the vicinity could smell the putrid odor but nobody knew where it came from. I can still hear them in my mind. “What the fuck is that smell.” “This smell is so bad I think I am going to kill myself with a hammer” one man said. I even saw a fellow depraved maniac in the corner of my eye. I could tell because he had the same smile that I did. He was laughing with the same glee. I’m sure he’s raped a severely mentally challenged child in his lifetime. I know I have.
That’s when I saw him. The old nigger who sat in front of shoprite saying hello to every asshole strolling by. I fucking hated this man. I couldn’t tell you why. I just hated him. He could smell my shit butter. I could tell because he was gasping for air. I quickly approached him thinking “this will be the greatest day of my life. Nothing could stop me now.” This is when I felt a sudden burst. I realized later that I had shot a load off in my pants right at that moment.
I was arms length from the nigger now. I clenched the sock tight with both hands and swung it at the niggers face with all my might. I hit him in the cheek with such force that the brownish-liquid had sprayed out all over his face. He immediately threw up. I sat back laughing as he washed out his eyes with bottled water. He asked “why?” and I responded by dumping the rest of the socks contents on his head. Truly, I did it for the lulz.
While everybody was distracted I walked into shoprite and quickly shoved as many apples as I could up my ass. It was 4. I left shoprite with the most satisfaction I have ever felt in my life. I remember thinking “wow, I’m such a great person, I get 4 free apples, and I get to go home and jerk off to CP.”
When I think back on that day, I can always remember how sweet those apples tasted. Nothing sweeter.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2019-01-26 at 11:21 PM UTC
Definitely causes memory loss
2019-01-26 at 11:26 PM UTC
mikeyagain
African Astronaut
[unalterably regard the persecutor]
Send pics to see if the butter enjoyed it's self..
2019-01-26 at 11:57 PM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
why does this seem so familiar
2019-01-26 at 11:57 PM UTC
Fonaplats
victim of incest
[daylong jump-start that nome]
HTS are you looking for a Navy man?
I recently joined and need someone to cum home to after deployment.
2019-01-27 at 12:33 AM UTC
The Gang Makes Shitbutter
2019-01-27 at 12:41 AM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
charlie misuses his super saiyan powers
2019-01-27 at 2:08 AM UTC
Narc
Naturally Camouflaged
[connect my yokel-like scolytidae]
Stopped reading at butter up ass. Obvs homo shit is obvs, not interested you sick fuck.
And btw you're not a girl ya fag.
.
2019-01-27 at 2:18 AM UTC
WHY DOES NOBODY APPRECIATE THE SHIT BUTTER?
2019-01-27 at 2:26 AM UTC
My shit(butter)posting is too magnificent for people to even read fully. The tale is a grand one, worthy of its length and girth. I suggest you look past the anus fingering and ramming of butter, to witness its true textual (and sexual) glory.
2019-01-27 at 2:27 AM UTC
Originally posted by HTS
My shit(butter)posting is too magnificent for people to even read fully. The tale is a grand one, worthy of its length and girth. I suggest you look past the anus fingering and ramming of butter, to witness its true textual (and sexual) glory.
its bevause we can actually smell it from here.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
wtf
