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What keeps YOU from getting on that bus?
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2018-12-11 at 1:42 AM UTCGGG reminded me that I want to keep the overall tone in this thread uplifting.
I want it to be an honest and open forum for discussion of suicide, so if anyone else feels like they want to lay down their reasons/justifications for suicide, let it all out here.
But I hope the overall trend this thread takes is a positive one. -
2018-12-11 at 2:04 AM UTCGZ .. out of the many many many posters I’ve read over the past 7 years, if you never mentioned you poisoned and abused your body and mind with drugs, meds, and alcohol on a regular basis, I would think you are a very special and incredible human being with so much good to give the world.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and engaging others in a community like this. You give me hope. Hope that fairness, compassion, kindness, and intelligence is on the Internet -
2018-12-11 at 2:09 AM UTCGood thread my nigga.
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2018-12-11 at 2:11 AM UTC
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2018-12-11 at 2:15 AM UTCOT - I didn’t go through all the shit in my life, overcome obstacles that most would have run from, and worked my ass off - not to live a life of peace and happiness at some point, without all the shitty wrongs I’ve dug, scratched, clawed, and fought to get out from underneath of.
And I do not want to come back to this world and do it again. I guess my spiritual beliefs have something to do with it.
And of course - a never ending supply of hope. -
2018-12-11 at 2:24 AM UTC
Originally posted by Mewsik GZ .. out of the many many many posters I’ve read over the past 7 years, if you never mentioned you poisoned and abused your body and mind with drugs, meds, and alcohol on a regular basis, I would think you are a very special and incredible human being with so much good to give the world.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and engaging others in a community like this. You give me hope. Hope that fairness, compassion, kindness, and intelligence is on the Internet
Like I said in the OP, I'm not a super regular poster here, but I do recognize your username.
You bring to mind a few reasonably contrarian posts around here about the high percentage of drugged out NIS posters.
Reasonably contrarian in the sense that, you're right.
In fact, I'm going to dig up an old post and quote it here because it's particularly relevant:
Originally posted by Mewsik Drugs are for pussies unable to make the most of reality, unable to find the beauty of now, unable to connect with this emmense and beautiful world called earth, and can't close their eyes and enjoy the colorful potential of tomorrow
all this advise on whatelse to poison your body and mind with to make your high work … good grief and so so sad.
whatever
(From this thread: https://niggasin.space/thread/28790).
I remember I agreed with what you said. I remain a hypocrite, I still get high/drunk/whatever.
But I acknowledge the hypocrisy.
And that post of yours there is one that just always stands out for me when I think of NIS. -
2018-12-11 at 2:38 AM UTCIt is a good post
however
it's spelled 'immense' -
2018-12-11 at 2:41 AM UTC
Originally posted by Cro Mango I've never once seen a problem that someone is literally willing to die to not face, but couldn't be solved in an infinitely less extreme way than that.
Literally anything is less dangerous than killing yourself. Go buy a $50 bike, jump it over a canyon and put it on YouTube, worst case scenario you die anyway, best case scenario you are the new evel kenievel.
I wanna go back to this because I don't get why more people don't do this. If you're willing to throw your life away, then there's so much cool shit you could be doing instead.
This guy went to Mexico to buy drugs to kill himself and instead ended up doing a lot of drugs, fucking a lot of hookers, and then in the end decided that life was actually worth living after all.
https://totalfratmove.com/guy-goes-to-mexico-to-kill-himself-spends-week-doing-coke-and-banging-hookers-decides-to-keep-living/Went to Mexico to buy barbiturates for a humane and peaceful death.
Decided that if I was gonna die anyway I might as well fuck a prostitute before it was all over. After that a cab driver offered to sell me cocaine. One thing lead to another, and I got a room above a whore house equipped with a heart shaped bed, a stripper pole, and a hot tub.
Spent a full week snorting coke off tits, popping pain meds, drinking tequila, eating handfuls of Viagra to fight the whiskey/coke dick, and had three FFM threesomes.
Somewhere in the midst of my coke-fueled orgy I decide life wasn’t so bad after all. -
2018-12-11 at 2:53 AM UTCMy cats, and not wanting to traumatize my family. Nothing else, and even those are starting to seem like they won't be enough to keep me here much longer.
I know Malice's pentobarbital source, I just don't have $700. -
2018-12-11 at 3:03 AM UTCteenage girls
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2018-12-11 at 3:15 AM UTC
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2018-12-11 at 3:26 AM UTCFuck what were the other drugs in his cocktail. I remember one caused cardiac arrest and was relatively cheap because some people oddly enough use it as a sweetener.
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2018-12-11 at 3:32 AM UTC
Originally posted by GGG I wanna go back to this because I don't get why more people don't do this. If you're willing to throw your life away, then there's so much cool shit you could be doing instead.
This guy went to Mexico to buy drugs to kill himself and instead ended up doing a lot of drugs, fucking a lot of hookers, and then in the end decided that life was actually worth living after all.
https://totalfratmove.com/guy-goes-to-mexico-to-kill-himself-spends-week-doing-coke-and-banging-hookers-decides-to-keep-living/
There are millions of people that took the same route ... the vast majority sadly end up dead at some point, or on the streets - homeless and strung out, and settle into that lifestyle of constant wasted ... until they’re toe is marked “Jane or John Doe” and their bagged and slid into that metal drawer.
Where is mr. Mexico today?
I’m not saying for some, this might work. Because, I suppose in a sense I’ve done the same thing 3 times in my life ... I also tried to kill myself before I was 18 twice ... a pathetic attempt, none the less ... I wanted out. I didn’t know how to keep fighting until I could figure out how to live without excruciating emotional pain.
Gotta take a break..... -
2018-12-11 at 3:38 AM UTCHow's he doing now?
Life's weird, man.
Suicidal, utterly miserable, incapable of interacting with people. And now I've got the most amazingly sweet and beautiful girlfriend and two cool dogs. Life's still got its ups and downs, and I still deal with depression, but it's so much better than I ever thought possible.
I'd do another AMA, but I don't know if there's really any demand for it. It's been a while and really not that much has changed since the last one.
Thanks for asking. Hope you're doing well too.
https://www.reddit.com/user/plzsendhalp
Anyway the point is not 'go out and do drugs instead of kill yourself.' I'm just saying, go out and live and do something you've always wanted to do before you can't anymore. This is true in regular life, but doubly true if you're planning to kill yourself and have limited time. Adventure resets the spirit and pulls you out of whatever hole you're in. -
2018-12-11 at 4:12 AM UTCDrugs are awesome.
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2018-12-11 at 4:13 AM UTCAddiction is dogshit.
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2018-12-11 at 4:35 AM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ I don't have time to get into it right now but it's essentially the same answer - hope.
yes.
it is hope and dreams, other than responsibilities to our loved ones that keep most of us alive, enduring thru another day of hell with out teeth gritted ...
but to have achieved your hope and dreams so easily, you either have to be some one with really low expectation of yourself,
or a high achiever.
the question is which ones you. -
2018-12-11 at 4:47 AM UTC
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2018-12-11 at 5:16 AM UTC
Originally posted by Solstice My cats, and not wanting to traumatize my family. Nothing else, and even those are starting to seem like they won't be enough to keep me here much longer.
I know Malice's pentobarbital source, I just don't have $700.
Very close to this. I feel that if I didn't have other people to worry about I would've opted out a long time ago.
Barbs are kind of a homoerotic way to go out though - I always liked the story of the ex-EOD guy who loaded his car with explosives, drove out to the desert and vaporized it. There was so little left that the police only knew what happened because he left a note explaining it. -
2018-12-11 at 5:16 AM UTCI used to want to end it all. Then I read Chicken Soup for Faggots by Alfredo Gonzales and it spoke to me on a deep level. As in like 7-9 inches deep. Deep in my anus I felt uplifted, and not just because of the upward tilted pelvic thrusting, it was like my fag-soul was soothed for the first time in my life. I realized I didn't need to get on that bus, I'd have many more opportunities to be penetrated, suck dick, and generally be a faggot if I hitchhiked into suicide instead of doing it the pussy way by taking a bus.