I pulled an mmq today.

1. 2018-08-27 at 2:58 AM UTC

   #21
   Enterita African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Lanny lol, I don't think anyone would believe that even if it was true.

   
   yeah but there's no evidence that it isn't true, you know?
2. 2018-08-27 at 3:58 AM UTC

   #22
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

   Originally posted by Enterita yeah but there's no evidence that it isn't true, you know?

   
   That's my line. Please create your own material.
3. 2018-08-27 at 5:52 AM UTC

   #23
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by Lanny lol, I don't think anyone would believe that even if it was true.

   
   I always heard it as, keep an unopened bottle of booze under your seat and if you get pulled over, step out, chuck your keys at least 50 feet away and slam as much of the bottle as you can. Claim you were sober beforehand and you threw the keys because you had no further intention to operate the motor vehicle.
4. 2018-08-27 at 10:02 AM UTC

   #24
   

   Cootehill African Astronaut [my unsymmetrically blurry oregano]

   Originally posted by mmQ I always heard it as, keep an unopened bottle of booze under your seat and if you get pulled over, step out, chuck your keys at least 50 feet away and slam as much of the bottle as you can. Claim you were sober beforehand and you threw the keys because you had no further intention to operate the motor vehicle.

   
   Lmfao this is new to me
5. 2018-08-27 at 12:47 PM UTC

   #25
   

   komokazi Houston
   None of that will work, but I got out of a DUI because I wasn't in the car when police arrived and the car had no registration, inspection, or insurance and I had no license, no way to prove it was my car LOL. I did get a public intox, though.
6. 2018-08-27 at 3:49 PM UTC

   #26
   

   OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Lanny lol, I don't think anyone would believe that even if it was true.

   
   I know a guy who killed someone because he was drunk and hit them when they were on the side of the road. He had some partially drunk bottles of liquor in the trunk and SUPPOSEDLY used that as his defense. He still got a year in jail but it was his 4th DUI and I know he did at least one other kinda long stint of like a year or two previously for beating someone with a baseball bat, so it does seem like a very light punishment. Then again he's white and attractive so...
7. 2018-08-27 at 5:30 PM UTC

   #27
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   White and attractive. Must be why I've gotten out of so many charges myself. XD
8. 2018-08-27 at 5:54 PM UTC

   #28
   Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]
   Check your privilege!!!
9. 2018-08-27 at 6 PM UTC

   #29
   

   LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery Space Nigga [my yellow-marked arboreous hypnotist]

   Originally posted by Enterita yeah but there's no evidence that it isn't true, you know?

   
   You still get to sit in jail, though. You're incredibly naive if you buy into the innocent until proven guilty shit.
10. 2018-08-27 at 6 PM UTC

    #30
    

    ShizNitty Houston
    Shoulda subdued the guy calling the cops,and got outta dodge.
    
    make up an alibi, and say your car got stolen, after that deny deny deny. especially if you were driving in bumfuck Egypt
11. 2018-08-28 at 12:59 AM UTC

    #31
    Enterita African Astronaut

    Originally posted by LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery You still get to sit in jail, though. You're incredibly naive if you buy into the innocent until proven guilty shit.

    
    Yeah plus women stick together
12. 2018-08-28 at 1:05 AM UTC

    #32
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    Lmao @ I pulled an mmq today 😂 wtf
13. 2018-09-02 at 5:25 AM UTC

    #33
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut

    Originally posted by WE SMOOTH -Mom was being a bitch (to her 30 year old son)
    -Decided to ditch work for a drunken countryside drive
    -Took a turn too fast
    -Ended up in some brush
    -Immediately is called into the police (LOL you should have taken pics)
    -…Opens a beer on the side of the road?
    -You're getting billed for the ambulance, nigga
    -5 hours at the hospital
    -Cried to the doctor
    -Is prescribed 20x 5mg Valium
    -Has to pay ~$5k for 20 Valium
    -LOL you're gonna take like 2 yrs probation over a month in jail coming of age experience.
    
    
    Oh Actor, this is hilarious if true

    
    This made me laugh and cry at the same time.
14. 2018-09-02 at 8:08 AM UTC

    #34
    

    Ensign Galm African Astronaut [specifically erupt this tetrachloromethane]

    Originally posted by LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery You still get to sit in jail, though. You're incredibly naive if you buy into the innocent until proven guilty shit.

    
    
15. 2018-09-13 at 12:31 AM UTC

    #35
    

    Solstice Naturally Camouflaged
    You shoulda stuck to scrounging coins out of the fountain at the mall.