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What To Do If Someone Is Riding Your Ass

  1. #1
    cartof Yung Blood
    I hate it when someone rides my ass while driving, so I have developed the best defense for these fuckers. I have decided to share it with you my brothers.
    1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.
    A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.
    3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.
    2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.
    3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.
    4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    Yesssss
  3. #3
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    or u could like .. move over
  4. #4
    apt Tuskegee Airman
    nigger
  5. #5
    infinityshock Black Hole
    im relieved that the thread title is misleading and will not actually affect my primary recreational activity.
  6. #6
    Bologna Nacho African Astronaut
    Slam on the emergency brake (no brake lights) then retire after the lawsuit is settled.
  7. #7
    HTS highlight reel
    Bite your lip and moan.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  8. #8
    EllariaSand African Astronaut
    LMFAO


    Fanfuckingtastic I can’t wait to try this
  9. #9
    mikeyagain African Astronaut [unalterably regard the persecutor]
    I remember my dad mounted two super bright spotlights on the back bumper of his truck.. Worked great, and handy for other uses too..
  10. #10
    esbity African Astronaut
    Or just slam on your brakes and then sue for injuries.
  11. #11
    Dfg Tuskegee Airman [compulsively riposte the emigrant]
    I will let you know a little secret, this account is Lanny's bot.
  12. #12
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Dfg I will let you know a little secret, this account is Lanny's bot.

    3/4 of the screennames here are lannys bots
  13. #13
    spank your own ass and tell him to pull your hair
  14. #14
    SBTlauien African Astronaut
    Originally posted by infinityshock 3/4 of the screennames here are lannys bots

    I don't run bots on my own site.
  15. #15
    Symbiote Yung Blood
    inb4 lube
  16. #16
    obscure Yung Blood
    This idea made me laugh. However, you have to mention that it takes some practice to throw something at someone's windshield with your left arm behind you. I've thought about this many times. It's easier said than done. And that's not even taking the aerodynamics into account (when you're on the interstate). It would definitely require some practice.

    Another idea that's also quite simple is get a spare windshield washer tank from some vehicle you don't care about (junkyard, or your own if you never use it) and relocate it and the nozzle to some area where it's not too noticeable but obviously would spray and get on their car instead of your own. For example people are used to over spray from windshield washer fluid going over the roof and getting on their window. So maybe if you moved the nozzles right to the top edge of your windshield and somehow buried them in the rubber trim/seals then they'd assume it to be overspray and not take down your tag or whatever. Or maybe hide it underneath pointed up below your rear bumper. Possibly by exhaust pipe so they think it's coming out of your exhaust.

    Fill the tank with used engine oil, brake fluid, diluted paint stripper (to thin it out enough to spray), etc.

    Forgot to add another thing. Whatever you fill it with, might kill the pump since it's probably not rated for that many chemicals. So don't do it to anything that's expensive to replace or can't be swiped at a junkyard.
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