2018-07-03 at 7:21 PM UTC
Zanick
motherfucker
[my p.a. supernal goa]
A friend once told me that, when she was growing up, her parents made her write a persuasive essay whenever she wanted something very badly. She got her first dog and her first car by making compelling arguments, and she became a remarkable adult with great writing skills. I plan to observe this rule with my own kids, in the hopes that they too will develop a significant ability for expressing themselves in all forms of communication because I believe it would serve them throughout their lives.
What about you? What would your kids hate you for making them do?
2018-07-03 at 7:22 PM UTC
Paying the $420 to abort them.
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2018-07-03 at 7:36 PM UTC
lmfao jig.
idk i would teach them cool shit like how 2 drive at about like age 10 or 12 and then if they didnt crash alot i would show them how to tint their windows so the poolice dont be profilin on them.
just cool stuff like how to chug a beer, smash a can on ur forehead etc.
also i would get them gernade launchors and they would probably be asasins for the US gov later in life just guessing
2018-07-03 at 7:47 PM UTC
I’m not having kids because I don’t want to have to think up this kinda stuff. Nap time.
2018-07-03 at 8:03 PM UTC
POLECAT
POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret
[my presentably immunised ammonification]
I wont even hang out with Parents,, Parents are the most pig headed, unstable, Unreliable, opinionated, judgmental, holier than thou cocksuckers of all the cocksuckers ever.
2018-07-03 at 8:21 PM UTC
Cootehill
African Astronaut
[my unsymmetrically blurry oregano]
Wouldn't be hard to raise a kid better than how I was raised, so I suppose my kids will be better than me in every way.
Not much else besides that. Just not to play with iPhones and all that shite
2018-07-03 at 8:21 PM UTC
Mow grass
Fetch beers
Roofing
General carpentry skills
Probably cheaper to get a Mexican
2018-07-03 at 9:07 PM UTC
Excellent thread, Zanick.
Afterall, growing up is the reason we're here and why we are all fucked beyond salvation.
The obvious reason we're all fucked is because no-body knows how to be a parent and society has an obscured idealistic version of how kids should be brought up. Which clearly ain't working.
Challenging your kids is an important factor. You don't wanna pamper them through life, diamonds are made under pressure. If you do everything for your kids you are teaching them that its okay to be lazy cuz someone else is doing the work for them. Through duties and play progress can be made. Simply increase the difficulty and reward slightly. Teach them to postpone satisfaction because if you don't they will all be hooked on drugs, movies, porn which will increase in extremes over time, and video games which will make them great at only those things. You need to get them out into the world, they need to experience things. Ups and downs, all of it. It either hardens them or kills them. If the ladder then cry to darwin.
Curiosity must never be discouraged. If you kid asks you a question, fucking answer it. Far to many parents dismiss their kids questions with stupid answers that doesn't even relate to the question. If you don't know the answer to the question, find out. You got google at your disposal. Curiosity is the key to knowledge, if you discourage your kid when they ask a question, you are basically making them future retards as they have by that time associated asking questions with a bad experience from having crappy parents.
Rough and tumble play is key for father and son, as it shows the kid how to act in play, and whats okay in play and whats not. Furthermore it also allows for the father to act as if he's hurt when the kid goes over the line which triggers empathy in the kid. When the kid see's his father in pain, he will realize that what he did was wrong and the father will act accordingly to ensure the play can continue after the wrongdoing has been talked about in a calm but assertive manner. Yelling at your kid is wrong, beating up your kid is wrong, telling them to fuck off is wrong and i could go on but i simply don't give a nigga cuz you're all gonna be shit parents anyway.
If you don't know what it means to be a parent and how to raise a kid, don't fucking do it-
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2018-07-03 at 9:09 PM UTC
No kids for me but my dads main rule was...
"Dont bring the police back here"
2018-07-04 at 12:42 AM UTC
buy him a parashoot and a parakeet and a cat and a bunch of toobeyfours and a hammor and a saw and a fishing poll and a gender neutral paintjob for "his" room
2018-07-04 at 12:47 AM UTC
When it came to raising my son, my only concern was to teach him how to love others and treat them the way he would want to be treated. Now that he's 21, I only need to guide him.
God gave him the rest:
He came equipped with brains, I helped him expand his brain.
He came with good looks, I taught him how to have good hygiene.
2018-07-04 at 12:51 AM UTC
Compassion and rationality.
I would like to discuss things with my child through logic and reason. My position as a power/authority figure in their life will be built through their trust in my reason, and not "because I am your parent".
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2018-07-04 at 12:53 AM UTC
When my kids were just starting to walk and still in diapers, they would get into something I didn't want them to (for their own good) I would say NO, don't do that. When they did it anyway, I tapped them on the diaper butt and said no a little louder. They cried for a minute and was back getting into shit again. Took maybe 4 or 5 times and then they knew daddy meant business! After that all I had to say was NO! And they listened. Never spanked them again. They are now great all grown up kids. Now all I have to do is learn to say NO! when they want money.
2018-07-04 at 1:08 AM UTC
Originally posted by Captain
Compassion and rationality.
I would like to discuss things with my child through logic and reason. My position as a power/authority figure in their life will be built through their trust in my reason, and not "because I am your parent".
That’s really sweet and idealistic but have you ever tried to rationalize with a 4 year old who is screaming their head off and they have no idea why?
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2018-07-04 at 1:11 AM UTC
I never met any of my kids. And i certainly dont plan on it
