Good morning everyone.
Let me just start by saying I feel great.
It was my first night sleeping in what was my bedroom from 13/14-16.
I felt so warm and back to something.
I do not know how to explain it.
And I had good dreams to.
Dream #1, I was at a house party with a gun shooting people.
Dream #2, I was with my best friend Brian (RIP) and we were running around a mall trying to find the Japanese because they left a Mitsubishi in my driveway and we needed to get them a package.
My dream ended with me running around a swing set trying to fight off a bear with a hacksaw but it chomped off part of my hand.
I really miss my best friend.
Tomorrow will be the 1 year anniversary of his funeral.
Anyways...
My doggies gave me snuggles last night and I fell asleep to music which was nice.
Now I am awake.
Already smoked me a cigarette.
And I couldn't believe my eyes when I walked outside at 5:30 to find the sun coming up.
Here is a picture of what I saw.
And the moon.
Here is the moon.
And me.
Here is me.
I read the Just for today for AA
I bolded what stood out most to me.
Mostly cuz of my little breakdown over the last week and a half.
Feels so good to be sober.
June 4th
LETTING GO OF OUR OLD SELVES
Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. . . .Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 75, 76
The Sixth Step is the last "preparation" Step. Although I have already used prayer extensively, I have made no formal request of my Higher Power in the first Six Steps.
I have identified my problem, come to believe that there is a solution, made a decision to seek this solution, and have "cleaned house." I now ask: Am I willing to live a life of sobriety, of change, to let go of my old self? I must determine if I am truly ready to change. I review what I have done and become willing for God to remove all my defects of character; for in the next Step, I will tell my Creator I am willing and will ask for help. If I have been thorough in the preparation of my foundation and feel that I am willing to change, I am then ready to continue with the next Step. "If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 76)
I think I am truly ready to give up the booze for good.
I am so blessed this morning to get to start my day in such a good way.
And OMG here is NA JUST FOR TODAY
June 04, 2018
Build, don't destroy
Page 162
"Our negative sense of self has been replaced by a positive concern for others."
Basic Text, p. 16
Spreading gossip feeds a dark hunger in us. Sometimes we think the only way we can feel good about ourselves is to make someone else look bad by comparison. But the kind of self-esteem that can be purchased at another's expense is hollow and not worth the price.
How, then, do we deal with our negative sense of self? Simple. We replace it with a positive concern for others. Rather than dwell on our low self-esteem, we turn to those around us and seek to be of service to them.This may seem to be a way of avoiding the issue, but it's not. There's nothing we can do by dwelling on our low sense of self except work ourselves into a stew of self-pity. But by replacing our self-pity with active, loving concern for others, we become the kind of people we can respect.
The way to build our self-esteem is not to tear others down, but to build them up through love and positive concern. To help us with this, we can ask ourselves if we are contributing to the problem or to the solution. Today, we can choose to build instead of destroy.
Just for Today: Though I may be feeling low, I don't need to tear someone down to build myself up. Today, I will replace my negative sense of self with a positive concern for others. I will build, not destroy.
Today I am going to work on my character defects and also service others.
^Goal for sure!
And I got to see my friends Luigi, Mal, and Tort when I got up today.
They was watching me sleep.
And I got up.
And we are talking now.
I love you guys.
Thank you for being my friends.
Wishing you a wonderful day.
From me to you.
I really appreciate everyone and hope and pray for a great day for us all.
Time to go write out my other goals for today and eat some breakfast.
I love you all very much.
Call/text me anytime.
I am here if you ever want to talk to someone.
Everything is kept 100% private.
Fona-fone (937) 522-1751
