2018-05-10 at 8:51 PM UTC
Mine is really really bad I'll share it if a few people actually share real responses.
2018-05-10 at 8:54 PM UTC
Zanick
motherfucker
[my p.a. supernal goa]
This crazy girl at my first job asked me out and I convinced her I was gay. She found out it was a lie later on and confronted me. I felt really bad about that.
Oh, and bringing schedule I controlled substances into my parents' house routinely throughout my adolescence. One of those things I should want to take back that I don't.
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2018-05-10 at 8:59 PM UTC
POLECAT
POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret
[my presentably immunised ammonification]
one time me and the preachers grandson went and shot out all the windows at the church with our wrist rockets,, then he ratted me out and said I made him do it with me
POLECAT
POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret
[my presentably immunised ammonification]
oh yeah one time I burnt down eastern Fla. back in 71
2018-05-10 at 9:01 PM UTC
POLECAT
POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret
[my presentably immunised ammonification]
and then from 1984 to 1992 I outran the police over 75 times
2018-05-10 at 9:02 PM UTC
POLECAT
POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret
[my presentably immunised ammonification]
I sold weed to a cute cop one time,, that didn't go well, thank god I was in Cali where they really don't care
2018-05-10 at 9:02 PM UTC
Oh yeah that reminds me I have stolen a lot from churches one of my first gigs was running around a parking lot with my buddy smashing windows out with a bat and taking purses and laptops and stuff
2018-05-10 at 9:03 PM UTC
Which by the way isn't remotely close to my worst thing but I'll share some "kinda bad" things until I get there.
2018-05-10 at 9:04 PM UTC
POLECAT
POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret
[my presentably immunised ammonification]
I fucked my neighbors wife one time
2018-05-10 at 9:05 PM UTC
I had a bloody fist fight with my dad while my little toddler sister was in the room crying and screaming scared to death. That's another kinda bad one but not really
2018-05-10 at 9:08 PM UTC
POLECAT
POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret
[my presentably immunised ammonification]
karmas a bitch tho, she gave me crabs
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2018-05-10 at 9:17 PM UTC
I used to steal jedielry and I slept with a married man. Not at the same time though.
2018-05-10 at 9:23 PM UTC
Originally posted by Zanick
A lot of teenagers do that shit at 15, dads aren't supposed to respond by getting drunk and challenging you to a fistfight. You should've beaten his ass, dude.
I did. :)
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2018-05-10 at 9:24 PM UTC
Daily
an(nu)ally
[dissolutely whisk the pantheon]
Honestly, I've done a lot of fucked up things in my life, many illegal, but one thing has always stuck with me in particular (not trolling)
8 years old. Vladivostok. My mother took me to visit an old lady (family friend), perhaps 80 years old whose husband had just died. She was all alone in this big empty house and I remember thinking about Final Fantasy VIII (I had already emigrated to England a year ago but we returned for a few weeks) and how hot Squall looked and I really wished I looked like him (plot twist: I look better and I'm a 9/10)
The house had an office filled with books, hundreds and hundreds of them, and I remember the old lady saying something about not knowing what to do with all her husband's stuff because their son and daughter would have no use for them
Back then I had this weird habit of building up saliva in my mouth and then spitting it all out. It was so satisfying - I always tried to beat my previous record and see if I could make myself salivate until my mouth was totally full and I looked like a hamster. Sometimes I envisioned my mouth being filled with so much saliva it would pop and everything would burst out like a water balloon
I sneaked into the old lady's dead husband who fought in WW2's office and was looking through these old books, building up saliva in my mouth as I went. As I was flicking through The Master and the Margarita by Bulgakov the urge to spit was unbearable and I spat out what must have been about 100ml of spit right into the middle of the book and quickly shut it, the spit dripping out the sides of the pages, and I shoved it back into the shelf between all the other books. I suddenly got scared as if the old man's ghost would appear next to me and I ran out to go be with my mum and the old lady. I couldn't even look at her. I was disgusted with myself and to this day I still feel incredibly guilty
That was the last time I had ever done the saliva thing and to this day I feel uncomfortable looking at the cover or simply reading the title of The Master and the Margarita
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