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Shoplifting technique

  1. #1
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Certainly different stores have different policies, but let's for example you want to take some shit from Target and we'll say their policy is it's not shoplifting until you leave the store with it.

    So, you go take whatever you want all in plain sight then go to the exit but just stop and wait to see if LP is approaching you or waiting for you to go out the door. If they are, just stand there as long as you want until they leave, or just put the stuff on the floor and leave.

    If they aren't there, then leave and dash to your running vehicle parked a few yards away at the front curb.

    Another method would be to hide somewhere until they close then take a massive loot and leave out an emergency exit to a nearby vehicle with the plates pre-removed.
  2. #2
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    They put LP through minimal training to ensure they adhere to store policy, but if you feel the need to shoplift I'd guess the stakes are already too high to reasonably wager that they're anything but gorillas in a uniform. They can always lie about where they apprehended you. You can and should expect the store to float their perjurous statement straight into the police report. I'm not going to tell you that stealing is immoral, just that if you get caught, you can expect to get fucked harder than you've got coming.

    If that isn't a deterrent, I think the surest method would be to take the merchandise to the restroom and put it you-know-where. You'll want to wear briefs for this, and if you must waddle out of the store, it's best if you went inside that way, too.
  3. #3
     Acolyte
    Proof of Purchase Shoplifting

    1. Buy item in the $200-$300 range.
    2. Take item to trunk of car.
    3. Return to store and place exact same item in cart and stick receipt to box.
    4. Either return item for full refund or exit with second item.
    5. Show proof of purchase if stopped.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #4
    Tell them you didn’t receive the package
  5. #5
    Originally posted by mmQ Another method would be to hide somewhere until they close then take a massive loot and leave out an emergency exit to a nearby vehicle with the plates pre-removed.

    Target has overnight stockers on duty after-hours. At least they did a few years ago. Knew someone who did that.
  6. #6
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    steal a armored truck and crash it thru the front doors and drive thru the store to the tv display section. then u put all the television sets in ur armor truck ( ur truck has a big generator running so you can plug them all in while ur driving ) .then put it in reverse and use ur MIRRORS to back up the exact same way u came in all the way back to ur driveway.
  7. #7
    Originally posted by A College Professor steal a armored truck and crash it thru the front doors and drive thru the store to the tv display section. then u put all the television sets in ur armor truck ( ur truck has a big generator running so you can plug them all in while ur driving ) .then put it in reverse and use ur MIRRORS to back up the exact same way u came in all the way back to ur driveway.

    Fucking DUMBASS you would back in rear-first. That way when you’re done loading the shit you can just drive straight off
  8. #8
     Acolyte
    1. Cut 20-inch hole in roof using Sawz-All.
    2. Peer down through hole and wait for low traffic.
    3. Lower fishing line down and hook onto item on showroom floor.
    4. Haul up prize.
    5. Repeat
  9. #9
    SBTlauien African Astronaut
    There are actually a lot of different ways to shoplift that are hard to catch at the store level(box stuffing, barcoding, teams, etc). Same with retail fraud ans other sorts of fraud...
  10. #10
     Acolyte
    1. Check trash cans and parking lot for discarded receipts.
    2. Isolate item on receipt that has over $50 value.
    3. Locate identical item in store.
    4. Using discarded receipt, request refund (plus applicable taxes) on item at service desk.
  11. #11
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by  Proof of Purchase Shoplifting

    1. Buy item in the $200-$300 range.
    2. Take item to trunk of car.
    3. Return to store and place exact same item in cart and stick receipt to box.
    4. Either return item for full refund or exit with second item.
    5. Show proof of purchase if stopped.

    This is... this is good.
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