User Controls
Ever since I asked out that girl, she's been chatting to me more...
-
2018-04-13 at 4:49 AM UTC
Originally posted by Zanick #2 If that's really how you feel about this particular girl, then you're doing a great job of staying focused.
yeah I don't really have feelings for individual girls anymore
not since... -
2018-04-13 at 4:52 AM UTC
Originally posted by Enter are u sure? i said in 2 months because that's when this semester finishes, so we'll both have more time to actually go out. i think it works well, since we're both busy with our studies right now.
That just means that in two months you two won't have the common ground of school, which makes it less likely that you'll continue talking. And yes, he is absolutely right. First of all, if she's already expressing interest, why would you think getting buff matters? If she likes you right now, you getting buff isn't necessary and may even backfire, since you'll be changing something about yourself, and hey maybe she's not into guys who are overly focused on physical pursuits like that and will actually be turned off by it. At the very least, you'll be different than you are now, so it's possible she won't like the change. Why change something if she already likes what you got going on?
More importantly, you're just focusing too much on your physical appearance, which is just one aspect of yourself, and physical buffness specifically, which is just one aspect of your physical appearance. As much as incels want to convince you and themselves otherwise, personality and confidence are some of the most important things in attracting women. If you have common interests, you're easy and engaging to talk to, she enjoys your sense of humor, and you're confident, you don't have to be super physically attractive. Those things are usually more important for getting a girl to want to be with you. If you make her wait around for a long time like you're stupidly planning, that's just going to give plenty of opportunity for her interest to fade away, or even if she remains interested, she'll figure you're not so interested in her since why would you wait months to do something with her if you're interested? That last bit doesn't even take being very socially adept to figure out. Come on, man. -
2018-04-13 at 4:59 AM UTC
Originally posted by Enter are u sure? i said in 2 months because that's when this semester finishes, so we'll both have more time to actually go out. i think it works well, since we're both busy with our studies right now.
there's a slim chance she will still be down in 2 months. if that is the case, it's either because you got lucky and nobody slipped in the window of opportunity you are currently leaving wide open, or she's really needy or has some other sort of personality flaw like that. like LSD was saying, she's into you now, and the buff thing doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does. personally i think you're just saying that to yourself because it puts off the anxiety of actually dating for the near future. but yea. the window is open right now.
you already said you'd wait 2 months and you're right that you don't want to go back or say you couldn't wait or something like that. but maybe take the opportunity you have now when she talks to you, and maybe a good time will come where you can say something like "you know what, i know we said we'd hang out in a couple of months but i really wanted to try out this new restaurant (or some other excuse like that) and have a free night saturday night, do you want to go with me?" but do this after the conversation has been flowing well and natural, don't like make a big deal out of it or act like it's super formal or anything.
that's what i'd do anyways -
2018-04-13 at 5:08 AM UTC
Originally posted by LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery That just means that in two months you two won't have the common ground of school, which makes it less likely that you'll continue talking. And yes, he is absolutely right. First of all, if she's already expressing interest, why would you think getting buff matters? If she likes you right now, you getting buff isn't necessary and may even backfire, since you'll be changing something about yourself, and hey maybe she's not into guys who are overly focused on physical pursuits like that and will actually be turned off by it. At the very least, you'll be different than you are now, so it's possible she won't like the change. Why change something if she already likes what you got going on?
More importantly, you're just focusing too much on your physical appearance, which is just one aspect of yourself, and physical buffness specifically, which is just one aspect of your physical appearance. As much as incels want to convince you and themselves otherwise, personality and confidence are some of the most important things in attracting women. If you have common interests, you're easy and engaging to talk to, she enjoys your sense of humor, and you're confident, you don't have to be super physically attractive. Those things are usually more important for getting a girl to want to be with you. If you make her wait around for a long time like you're stupidly planning, that's just going to give plenty of opportunity for her interest to fade away, or even if she remains interested, she'll figure you're not so interested in her since why would you wait months to do something with her if you're interested? That last bit doesn't even take being very socially adept to figure out. Come on, man.
ehhhhhhhh yeah but the way I see it, she doesn't REALLY like me right now, I'm just another guy to her. like, what was she supposed to do when i asked her out? say no? that's rude, this isn't high school. girls don't really do that after hs. I'll have WAY more of a chance if she sees me with muscles. And I won't act all egotistical about it, when she asks if I've been working out, I'm going to say no and that I've just been playing heaps of footy or something. -
2018-04-13 at 5:09 AM UTC
Originally posted by greenplastic there's a slim chance she will still be down in 2 months. if that is the case, it's either because you got lucky and nobody slipped in the window of opportunity you are currently leaving wide open, or she's really needy or has some other sort of personality flaw like that. like LSD was saying, she's into you now, and the buff thing doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does. personally i think you're just saying that to yourself because it puts off the anxiety of actually dating for the near future. but yea. the window is open right now.
you already said you'd wait 2 months and you're right that you don't want to go back or say you couldn't wait or something like that. but maybe take the opportunity you have now when she talks to you, and maybe a good time will come where you can say something like "you know what, i know we said we'd hang out in a couple of months but i really wanted to try out this new restaurant (or some other excuse like that) and have a free night saturday night, do you want to go with me?" but do this after the conversation has been flowing well and natural, don't like make a big deal out of it or act like it's super formal or anything.
that's what i'd do anyways
yeah maybe. if the opportunity arises in the convo I might use it... -
2018-04-13 at 5:11 AM UTC
Originally posted by Enter ehhhhhhhh yeah but the way I see it, she doesn't REALLY like me right now, I'm just another guy to her. like, what was she supposed to do when i asked her out? say no? that's rude, this isn't high school. girls don't really do that after hs. I'll have WAY more of a chance if she sees me with muscles. And I won't act all egotistical about it, when she asks if I've been working out, I'm going to say no and that I've just been playing heaps of footy or something.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-04-13 at 5:14 AM UTCI can't manage the hassle of romantic or tactile relationships.
-
2018-04-13 at 5:14 AM UTC
-
2018-04-13 at 5:15 AM UTC
-
2018-04-13 at 5:42 AM UTCshe gonna get hit on plenty of times in 2 months. that's all i'm saying.
. -
2018-04-13 at 10:55 AM UTC
-
2018-04-13 at 10:56 AM UTCupdate: she already stopped talkin' to me lmao
-
2018-04-13 at 11:13 AM UTCI know I'm going to get made fun of for this, but when I was in school and asked girls out, they always either said no or just didn't talk to me again after that
But the ones that said no ALWAYS started talking to me a lot more, and at the time I thought this was a sign that they either liked me or were trying to see what I was like. But they always asked me for stuff, either help or money or something. Or they would talk to me about how they were feeling bad or something had happened, etc. And, being the cuck that I was at the time, I would always give them whatever they asked for and listened to them talk about their problems, thinking it would make them see that I was a nice guy and would be a good mate.
Some time into adulthood I eventually realized what they were doing. They knew that I liked them, so they got everything they could from me, and only talked to me when they needed something or emotional support. That's probably what this girl is doing to you. -
2018-04-13 at 11:14 AM UTC
Originally posted by Juicebox I know I'm going to get made fun of for this, but when I was in school and asked girls out, they always either said no or just didn't talk to me again after that
But the ones that said no ALWAYS started talking to me a lot more, and at the time I thought this was a sign that they either liked me or were trying to see what I was like. But they always asked me for stuff, either help or money or something. Or they would talk to me about how they were feeling bad or something had happened, etc. And, being the cuck that I was at the time, I would always give them whatever they asked for and listened to them talk about their problems, thinking it would make them see that I was a nice guy and would be a good mate.
Some time into adulthood I eventually realized what they were doing. They knew that I liked them, so they got everything they could from me, and only talked to me when they needed something or emotional support. That's probably what this girl is doing to you.
Yeah true, that's so fucked. :/ Ugh... that doesn't help my distrust of women. Fuck this. Fuck this all. -
2018-04-13 at 11:14 AM UTC
-
2018-04-13 at 11:14 AM UTC
Originally posted by Juicebox I know I'm going to get made fun of for this, but when I was in school and asked girls out, they always either said no or just didn't talk to me again after that
But the ones that said no ALWAYS started talking to me a lot more, and at the time I thought this was a sign that they either liked me or were trying to see what I was like. But they always asked me for stuff, either help or money or something. Or they would talk to me about how they were feeling bad or something had happened, etc. And, being the cuck that I was at the time, I would always give them whatever they asked for and listened to them talk about their problems, thinking it would make them see that I was a nice guy and would be a good mate.
Some time into adulthood I eventually realized what they were doing. They knew that I liked them, so they got everything they could from me, and only talked to me when they needed something or emotional support. That's probably what this girl is doing to you.
welcome back -
2018-04-13 at 11:17 AM UTC
-
2018-04-13 at 11:19 AM UTC
-
2018-04-13 at 11:25 AM UTC
Originally posted by Enter oh right true. well she's stopped talking to me anyway. she was complaining about some girl she knew and i suggested we go smash her car and she was like "right…". Kek.
If there's one thing I've learned about women since becoming an adult, it's that they don't actually want solutions to their problems, they just want emotional support -
2018-04-13 at 11:29 AM UTC
