2016-06-23 at 1:37 PM UTC
Girl #1: Looks normal and attractive, but is only 18 so will deteriorate with age. Already looks like a huge fucking whore.
Girl #2: Looks pretty normal. I'm gonna swipe right just because she says she's a sports fan and in my main pic I'm playing footy.
Girl #3: Is actually pretty cute/normal. Also a sports fan. I swiped right. Holy fuck, 3 normal looking girls in a row is actually pretty abnormal. This is just a coincidence.
Girl #4: Disgusting, fat brown slob. Literally looks like a goron from Zelda. Lmao.
Girl #5: 18 year old skank. Has her instagram in her profile pic, guess she's just on there to advertise for more followers.
Girl #6: Normal looking girl. Swiped right.
Girl #7: Yet another normal one. This is an unusual batch, seriously.
Girl #8: Another insta whore, swiped left.
Girl #9: Looks like an annoying cunt. "Zero points for gym selfies". Wtf bitch? Go fuck yourself. Swiping right just to call her out.
Girl #10: Oh god, I dunno. Every photo is a group shot. I'll go again.
Girl #10: She looks like a bitch, is even flipping the bird in one of her photos. But whatever, I'll match because she's hot.
2016-06-23 at 1:42 PM UTC
Number13
African Astronaut
[dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]
Swipe right on memes and it'll learn to only send memes your way, there's not gonna be any good women on that anyway, sluts but fat/prego by the time they're 20 types sure but no qt childhood friend types for you.
2016-06-23 at 1:44 PM UTC
Where the fuck do I find good childhood friend types? I'm going clubbing this weekend with my mates but obviously that'll just lead to more sluts -- I've done it before. Watching them twerk on the dance floor literally makes me angry.
2016-06-23 at 1:46 PM UTC
Okay I'm gonna change my preference to guys just to see what my competition is like.
2016-06-23 at 1:53 PM UTC
Guy #1: Hahahaha. What an ugly fag.
Guy #2: Looks like a little fancy boy faggot.
Guy #3: Oh my fucking god. His photo is of a bedroom selfie and he has photos of his fucking cat.
Guy #4: Damn it, fucking surfer guy. Get the fuck off here, fag. GET OFF THE AP. OFF.
Guy #5: Faggot.
Wait a second, if I'm choosing guys only but I'm a guy does that mean it's only giving me gay guys? It's not like I put I'm gay on this ap, I think it's just showing the guys who are literally just on tinder. R... Right?
Guy #6: Jesus fucking christ, another guy who looks gay as fuck. I'm starting to think maybe it really is gay guys, but men are SUCH effeminate pussies now days so I'm not sure. Lmao. They look like all the young pieces of shit in the gym who come in after school. You know, with wax in their hair and shit.
Guy #7: Complete and utter faggot. Omfg. THIS IS RAISING MY CONFIDENCE ON TINDER SO MUCH. Hahahaha.
Guy #8: HAHHAAH. HES LITERALLY WEARING A BOW TIE AND SUSPENDERS WITH HIPSTER GLASSES. Dude, girls don't like that! YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FAG! He actually wrote he likes cuddles.
Guy #9: Okay, a clearly straight guy. He has a beard and tattoos and is pretty beta. Looks like competition I guess.
Guy #10: Omfg, another fucking fag boy. He has a stuffed toy on his shoulder. Are you a fucking little bitch cunt? AM I THE ONLY MANLY GUY ON THIS THING?
Alright, I'm going to swipe right to next 30 girls in a 10 km radius to me no matter who they are. Gulp. I'll rate as I swipe.
1: 4/10
2: 1/10
3: 1/10
4: 3/10
5: Oh my fucking no... fucking no... oh god.... fucking fine, I did say I'd do it. Fucking hell, no. A fucking land whale. 0/10
6: 3/10
7: Asian, ugh. Well, I accepted the fat chick. 2/10 coz asian.
8: 7/10
9: 1/10 fat bitch
10: Asian but actually looks pretty sexy. 5/10
PHEW. Two more batches to go!
2016-06-23 at 2:05 PM UTC
11: Uh... not sure. 5/10 I guess?
12: Ugh, shot out for 24s old. 5/10...
Lmao I just realized I'm not entirely sure I've been swiping right to a lot of these because I'm so used to swiping left.
13: Meh. 4/10
14: Can't even see her. Photos are shit. Think she's asian. NA/10
15: Fat bitch with colored hair/10
16: Plastic surgery at 25/10
17: I dunno. 3/10
18: Sigh. 4/10? Shit photos, so probably less than that.
19: Anorexic whore. 2/10 but probably sees herself as a 10/10 because of all the botox and plastic surgery.
20: Aaand we finish this batch with a nice, fat 2/10.
2016-06-23 at 2:11 PM UTC
21: She has a kid, likes justin bieber, likes tattoos... and oh god I hate her so much. 3/10
22: Fat. 4/10
23: "I love long walks on the beach. On a serious note, I'm studying to be a nurse." Are you fucking serious? The latter thing is more cliche than the first thing you cunt. I can't do this. I'm swiping left. This one doesn't count. What a cunt. OH FUCK BUT THATS RIGHT I SWIPED TO THAT FUCKING LAND WHALE... fine, I'll swipe right.
24: Fat/10
25: Not even looking anymore.
26: See above.
27: Bigger than the whale I swiped right to before, but fuck it. I don't care anymore. Jesus christ. I read the bio and no, you're not "fun size". There's nothing fun about you, you fucking pig.
28: Instagram whore.
29: Literally looks like a guy in one of the photos.
30: Goth cunt.
Aaaand fuck it, time for some mystery swipes. Will start hitting right to everything without looking.
Aaaaand now we're done. There's no one new around me apparently.
2016-06-23 at 3:23 PM UTC
It's the middle of the night here, I'm expecting at least 1 or 2 matches tomorrow, but they'll be fatties. That's the bare minimum of what I expect.
Fucking shit app.
2016-06-23 at 3:51 PM UTC
Shit, apparently I'm out of likes today. Didn't know they ran out. Oh well.
2016-06-23 at 3:57 PM UTC
swiper...no swiping. and...you've posted reviews on elevendy five billion chicks and haven't posted the pic of a single one. post chic pics so your evaluations can be evaluated.
2016-06-23 at 4:42 PM UTC
Ugh, depressing. I hate women.
2016-06-24 at 12:26 AM UTC
I have the same problem, I was gonna make this exact thread.
"I like men NOT LITTLE BOYS!!"
"Message me to find out more"
"I LOVE TRUCKS!"
*uninstall app*
2016-06-24 at 12:13 PM UTC
I got 6 matches, 1 fatty and 1 asian, the rest hot. Trying my luck...
.
