Faking my own death so I can masturbate more often

1. 2017-11-26 at 7:06 AM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   As stated
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • RestStop
2. 2017-11-26 at 7:51 AM UTC

   #2
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   There exists no such thing as more often than constantly.
3. 2017-11-26 at 7:58 AM UTC

   #3
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Masturbating constantly sounds horrendous
4. 2017-11-26 at 10:44 AM UTC

   #4
   RestStop Space Nigga
   This is one of the best schemes/plans I ever read on the internet. Let me know if this plan becomes successful I'm going to replace masturbate with "meth".
5. 2017-11-26 at 6:24 PM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Absolutely, I'll keep you posted.
6. 2017-11-27 at 9:39 PM UTC

   #6
   

   Daily an(nu)ally [dissolutely whisk the pantheon]
   This thread title sounds like something a news article would use as an example to describe this userbase
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • aldra
7. 2017-11-29 at 2:06 PM UTC

   #7
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by TAFK Dumpster Slut Masturbating constantly sounds horrendous

   
   It really is, you quickly reach a point where every stroke is painful due to worn off skin and blisters so you start trying to find other ways to carefully pull your dick to minimize the pain but then can't get off because you're focused on the discomfort so you keep going for longer and just make everything worse, then the next day your dick is so raw and painful you hate yourself.
8. 2017-12-02 at 9:35 PM UTC

   #8
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by WhiskeyPhoenix It really is, you quickly reach a point where every stroke is painful due to worn off skin and blisters so you start trying to find other ways to carefully pull your dick to minimize the pain but then can't get off because you're focused on the discomfort so you keep going for longer and just make everything worse, then the next day your dick is so raw and painful you hate yourself.

   
   Then tha next day you do another booty bump and use a whole tube of Neosporin for your fap sesh.
9. 2017-12-05 at 5:47 PM UTC

   #9
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by Wick Sweat Then tha next day you do another booty bump and use a whole tube of Neosporin for your fap sesh.

   
   I cant imagine Neosporin in the dick hole feels very good
10. 2017-12-06 at 3:30 AM UTC

    #10
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    It's just like Vaseline.
11. 2017-12-06 at 3:57 AM UTC

    #11
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition

    Originally posted by Daily This thread title sounds like something a news article would use as an example to describe this userbase

    
    *sinister music plays as threads scroll by*