I'm a very passionate passionate man

2017-11-01 at 3:38 PM UTC

#1

kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

Yesterday afternoon and night I kind of felt shitty like I could just break into analytical tears but I didn't. I tried to sleep all day but it didn't work and I was up all night. I talked to my friend vaporwave and asked him for advice and he gave me some good advice and I felt a lot better.

Despite everything we've gone through, All of you are my brethren (cept bill) and if shit hit the fan with north korea, Id be there on the sidelines fighting with you gonts.

I've had many intimate moments with you gonts, and its important to me. Whenever I've been banned from here I go post f169bbs.com and while theres a couple cool people most of them have one track minds, hell 95 percent of the threads are something like "black guy kills whyte woman"/ or something about trump and post a link with out even putting any of their own input on the subject, and most of these guys that post there are older dudes who'd you'd expect to be able write sentences but they can't. So I'm forced to relentlessly troll most of the time.

But I'm digressing, the doctors have said I'm "bipolar" and I don't know how true that is really because I've only had 2 times in my entire life where I felt the natural high that mania. Most of the time I feel mildly blue, or normal or really happy.

I need to move forward though, I don't think I need to be on meds and I will never take them again, but if I could curb my drinking a lil more I think I'd do so much better, I'm already pretty lucky, I have a gf who treats me really well and things have been going really well compared to my past hens, I eat well, I have a cute cat, and I go do fun things.

It sometimes brings me down when I think about all the times in my past though where I needlessly acted like an insane asshole, but I'm trying to live a new life. I'm 30 years old and time does fly by fast, I always felt like I'd be in my mid 20's forever. But it's not too late to have the next 30 years or have ever much time I may have left to even better and more positive and healthy.

I know I've made threads like this before and about quitting drinking and I will for a lil bit just enough to feel normal phsyically but I then go back to it because it just feels so fun and then when I feel like trash I use it as a crutch.
I don't want to be one of those AA fags because those guys seem really depressed, but I need something more that is less foreboding.

Anyways I'm deviating again.

2017-11-01 at 3:42 PM UTC

#2