Passing a piss test

2017-10-01 at 4:21 AM UTC

#61

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

You know, craigslist wouldn't be a bad place to get pee. You just have to test it.

2017-10-01 at 4:34 AM UTC

#62

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

Apparently im banned from giving blood, but if they were smart, id be a two-in-one solution.

Transfuse someone with my blood and they can completely forego pain meds. Just have to make sure to have a nurse nearby to restart their heart every time they OD and their lips and fingers start going white.

2017-10-01 at 4:36 AM UTC

#63

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

Give me your lifeblood senpai

2017-10-01 at 4:44 AM UTC

#64

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

You must take it as nature has ordained

2017-10-01 at 4:49 AM UTC

#65

-SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

Just to make sure they don't watch you piss, you say, "Excuse me.. uhhh.. can you hold my penis while I piss, because I just don't want to spill any and my aim is really bad..." Then trail off. After that, they'll leave you alone entirely. Count on it.

2017-10-01 at 5:02 AM UTC

#66

mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

Originally posted by CASPER Apparently im banned from giving blood, but if they were smart, id be a two-in-one solution.

Transfuse someone with my blood and they can completely forego pain meds. Just have to make sure to have a nurse nearby to restart their heart every time they OD and their lips and fingers start going white.

Why are you banned from giving blood

2017-10-01 at 5:19 AM UTC

#67

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

Originally posted by mashlehash Why are you banned from giving blood

Drug users in general, and especially anyone who i think has EVER abused IV drugs. By that logic though, they should also still ban all gay dudes.

But thats not politically correct. Fuck those junkies though.

2017-10-01 at 5:31 AM UTC

#68

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

Originally posted by CASPER Drug users in general, and especially anyone who i think has EVER abused IV drugs. By that logic though, they should also still ban all gay dudes.

But thats not politically correct. Fuck those junkies though.

I think some places do actually ban gays from giving blood. I'm pretty sure my area does.

But I could've dreamt that up

2017-10-01 at 5:36 AM UTC

#69

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

Originally posted by Kolokol-1 I think some places do actually ban gays from giving blood. I'm pretty sure my area does.

But I could've dreamt that up

Yep, anyone who's had receptive anal sex can't donate for 12 months

2017-10-01 at 5:39 AM UTC

#70

-SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

Blood Taker: Are you gay?
Gay: Why do you ask?
Blood Taker: Because I can't take your blood if you're gay.
Gay. Ok, I'm not gay.
Blood Taker: Fine. Hold out your arm, please.

2017-10-01 at 6:16 AM UTC

#71

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

Originally posted by Kolokol-1 Yep, anyone who's had receptive anal sex can't donate for 12 months

I mean it makes sense since gay men to engage in anal sex are exponentially more likely to contract HIV, but there are so many SJW types who are fighting against that "negative stigma".

2017-10-01 at 2:31 PM UTC

#72

mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

Originally posted by CASPER Drug users in general, and especially anyone who i think has EVER abused IV drugs. By that logic though, they should also still ban all gay dudes.

But thats not politically correct. Fuck those junkies though.

Homosexuals should be revoked from most rights. We should keep them in cages.

2017-10-08 at 2:25 PM UTC

#73

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

http://shop.cleanu.de/CleanUrin/en

2017-10-08 at 3:54 PM UTC

#74

Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]

Old thread, but, information still applies.

1. Take B-Complex
2. 30min later, drink 72oz of water.
3. Urinate.
4. Drink 72oz more.
5. Take a creatine supplement.
6. Urinate again.
7. Before leaving to go take the test, drink 32oz more of water.
8. When providing the sample, attempt to catch your "mid-stream" rather than the first or last.

You cannot "flush yourself" to be clean, but you can hope to dilute your sample so much that it doesn't trigger a positive. The B-Complex helps color your urine so it's not totally clear, which isn't a positive, but a sign that you may have tampered with the sample.

2017-10-08 at 4:07 PM UTC

#75

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

What kind of creatine supplement do you think I should use? Like a protein shake?

2017-10-08 at 4:09 PM UTC

#76

Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]

Originally posted by Captain Falcon What kind of creatine supplement do you think I should use? Like a protein shake?

Preferably the powdered mix that weight lifters use.

2017-10-08 at 4:23 PM UTC

#77

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

Gotcha, luckily I have a bunch on hand. Thank Mr Panny.

2017-10-08 at 4:26 PM UTC

#78

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

Another surefire sign youre trying to fuck with a test is if theres TOO MUCH creatine in a sample. Keep that in mind.

2017-10-08 at 4:43 PM UTC

#79

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

How do I calculate a good amount?

2017-10-08 at 4:47 PM UTC

#80

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by 霍比特人说中文不好 You know, craigslist wouldn't be a bad place to get pee. You just have to test it.

I'm gonna start selling "clean" piss that's riddled with heroin and meth.

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