2017-09-26 at 7:34 PM UTC
Step 1. Obtain potatoes
Step 2. Start a pot of boiling water. Add two tablespoons of baking soda and mix.
Step 3. Peel and dice potatoes into slices or cubes that are about a half inch thick.
Step 4. Place potatoes violently into boiling water and set a timer and stare blankly at the wall for roughly 12 minutes.
Step 5. Preheat oven to 450F or about 230C. Get some pans ready with tinfoil and cooking spray, unless you're a masochist.
Step 6. Remove potatoes and place them into a bowl. They should be hard in the middle but mushy on the outside. Add olive oil and whatever you like your potatoes with. I like using thyme, rosemary, black pepper, chives, onion, a few cloves of fresh garlic (I love garlic), salt, and just a little bit of butter.
Step 7. Mix potatoes in bowl until the seasonings mix and the potatoes are surrounded in a mashed potato like substance. You don't want to actually mash the potatoes, so be gentle with them. You just want that soft outside to get all mushy and slutty.
Step 8. Place potatoes into the oven and set the timer for 10 minutes. I don't like giving oven timers because you should always keep an eye on your food while its in the oven, but 10 minutes is a good time to do your first check. This step usually takes me 20 minutes or so but it can vary depending on how you cut your potatoes, how well you mixed them, and how big your dick is. Make sure to flip the potatoes two or three times as you see them get roasty brown.
Step 9. Take the potatoes out of the oven and let them cool for 5min. Then throw them out. Congratulations! You've made potatoes that will be soft and moist on the inside, but crispy on the outside!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2017-09-26 at 9:15 PM UTC
mashlehash
victim of incest
[my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
Maybe I'll try it out sometime §m£ÂgØL
2017-09-26 at 9:18 PM UTC
I'm stuck on step 4 pls halp
2017-09-27 at 1:49 AM UTC
Originally posted by HTS
How do I violently put potatoes in water? Do I have to be menacing, or just use an unnecessary amount of force?
Raise them high above your head and unleash your inner woman downwards.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2017-09-27 at 4:03 AM UTC
FUCK I forgot, add Parmesan when it's done, depending on what you're eating it with. If it's fish, no. If you're eating turkey or ham, yes. If you're making poutine? FUCK YES.
2017-09-27 at 6:47 AM UTC
I'm going to legit try this. Here I come heart attack.
2017-09-29 at 1:07 AM UTC
about to try this, will update with results
2017-09-29 at 9:51 AM UTC
Esplender
Tuskegee Airman
[my gynecological profit-maximising katar]
Wouldn't eat a skank 2bh have no idea where she's been
2017-09-29 at 5:25 PM UTC
The potatoes reciprocated his violence.
2017-09-29 at 9:48 PM UTC
oh yea, they were pretty good, although i undercooked them slightly. next time i'd set the oven to a lower temp and cook it for longer but i have a toaster oven so it's kind of shitty.
2017-10-01 at 4:41 AM UTC
Lower temp + longer = they dry out more. At least for potatoes. They don't hold moisture well. Also yeah, a toaster oven is pretty shitty for cooking anything. I've made poutine in one before and it wasn't fun. Poutine, man.
