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I need some inspiring words
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2017-09-10 at 2:33 PM UTC
Originally posted by NARCassist shes just saying this morning that she has no work on today and she thinks she's not gonna bother now and just stick to her methadone till she goes. she was panicking yesterday coz a client cancelled on her and she was going to have to go and find one. but this involves the really shitty clients that she hates doing. i gave her 100 quid so she didn't have to bother. it left me pretty broke but least i got to have her to myself all day.
omg wait, did i just hire her as a prostitute? WTF
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well yeah, you've called her a prostitute before.. -
2017-09-10 at 2:43 PM UTC
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2017-09-10 at 2:53 PM UTC
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2017-09-10 at 3:01 PM UTC
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2017-09-10 at 4:33 PM UTC
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2017-09-10 at 4:33 PM UTCA priest and a Rabbi are very good friends, so they decide to go to a remote lake for a swim.
Of course they're swimming naked as you do. All of a sudden, two busses pull up. Out of one pours the rabbis congregation and out of the other pours the priests congregation. Their clothes are on the other side of the lake so they don't have time to retrieve them, they just have to make a run for it. The priest, running with his hands covering his genitals looks over at the rabbi and sees him running with his hands over his face. He says, "rabbi! What are you doing!" The rabbi says, "in my community, they recognise me by my face." -
2017-09-11 at 2:40 AM UTC
Originally posted by NARCassist i could be thinking shit here coz i'm pretty fucking high right now. i got this idea(prolly stupid, lol) for a little private joke, so i'll share here coz its anon. the joke is something along the lines of comparing her to the cia, because she's hard to get into.
i'll explain, i've been having a bit of trouble fucking her because, and i got to admit i never saw this coming, she has the tightest pussy i have ever fucking come across. i mean considering her current profession i was half expecting the opposite. but i'm not even exaggerating, i can't even get two fingers inside her coz it hurts her, its that tight. even with just one finger, the entrance is really tight coz its like more solid flesh, but once inside its still very snugly fitting around your finger but obviously its a lot softer and stretches. i can't even remember a girl with a pussy even close to how tight this girl is.
the first time i fucked her was such a palava it was fucking comical, we been laughing about it ever since. she insisted on using a condom, i tried to convince her not to, by telling her i was tested in jail and was clean, but she pulled the 'not on the pill' card, and said getting plan b was a hassle, so i went along with it. and she only had one condom handy, so i put it on, it was a make i never heard of, 'pasante', sounds foreign. it was very tight fitting and hard to even roll the latex all the way down. what also didn't help was this fucking gear that's going around, its not as bad as that real strong stuff the other week, but it still has a bit of an effect where you just cant get a full rock hard boner. and if you aren't constantly stimulating your cock it tends to start to go down a bit quick. so anyway she'd sucked me off for a while, i'd fingered her and licked her out for a good while and was ready to get on with fucking her. i'd put this condom thing on and she suggested we start with doggy style, so i said cool. now i'm quite tall anyway at 6'2, so i've always been slightly too higher than chicks when doing doggy style, so i'm usually coming from a bit of an angle, but i always make it work. so by the time i got this condom on and we've got into position my todger is starting to wane a bit already. but i position it to her pussy and start to push it in and its going nowhere. i'm trying to push it into this tight little hole and its slipping out of position, my cock keeps bending up, i'm trying to jerk it off a bit to get it harder again but this fucking shitty condom is coming half off as i do it. i'm trying again, and again its slipping out, getting a bit softer, again i jerk it a bit, try and pull this condom back on.
after a few times of this i suggest she goes on her back coz i can get a better angle. so she turns over, spreads her legs and presents me this sweet little pussy, i position myself over her and go to slip it in, by this time its started going a bit soft again, so i quickly give it a tug, the fucking condom is half off again but now i'm thinking fuck it, i go to try again and its slipping out of place off towards her ass, i try again and my cock is bending up again coz its not quite fully hard, and then finally, bingo, i manage to get the tip in. i put my hand down on the bed, lean more over her and start pushing into her. its only going a little way in at first coz she's so damn tight so i start pumping to work it in. about two pumps i think and boom, its fucking slipped out again. so we go through more of the same, get it in again, couple more pushes and out it comes again. by this time the condom is practically falling off the end. now i'm thinking this thing really isn't helping, its making it worse. but i'm thinking if i tell her that she might decide its not happening and stop, and there's no way i want to give up now. so i just say nothing and carry on, letting the condom just fall off, i didn't even see where it went. so i get it in again, it slips out again, in again, out again.
then she says have you still got the condom on? so i'm like 'it just kept slipping off and its getting in the way'. she goes 'where is it?'. i look down and can't even see it, i'm not even sure exactly when it came off coz i just stopped pulling it back on again and let it fall off itself. so now i'm thinking shit did it come off inside her, and i can see she's thinking the same thing. so i've got my finger and had a little feel inside but can't feel anything, then she starts putting her finger in to feel. i said get up a sec and as she gets up off the bed the condom is stuck to her ass, lolmao. so i says 'look this fucking thing is just getting in the way and making it worse, but i really want to fuck you so can we try without it?', and she's ok, so we try again.
she sucks me for a bit to get me nice and hard and we go for another attempt. after a couple of little slips i manage to get it in her and actually start fucking this lovely tight pussy. i still can't get all the way in and i'm having to go real slow and easy but we're cooking on gas now. i can see she's looking like she is really starting to enjoy it. i'm sweating like a cunt by this time and i'm getting conscious that its gonna be dripping straight on her face, lol, but i don't think much did tho. i dunno if its from all the drugs she's doing but she is quite dry down there. i noticed when i fingered her and licked her out that her juices were very thick and white and creamy. and i was getting a dry mouth after all that fucking about so couldn't get much spit to help lube her up.
anyway we were in fucking stitches after this just laughing on the bed about it, it was fucking hilarious. it was like being fucking 12 or 13 again where trying to fuck some girl but fumbling around and not knowing exactly where the fucking hole is or anthing and having trouble getting it in, lol. so now i've got some lube and i've stopped doing the gear while i'm fucking her. its much better with a proper hard on and is the loveliest pussy to fuck. still takes a bit of work to get right inside her but its worth it in the end, hah.
i think she'll see the funny side of that joke, what you think?
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I don't want to hear about your lover's brick vagina -
2017-09-11 at 2:42 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER I dont want to rain on this shit parade but 1) LSD is right….people fuck like rabbis in rehab. 2) You really think youre going to have a successful, meaningful relationship with a girl you j ust met, who's going to be coming out of rehab, and YOU are still using? If youre not taking concrete steps to get clean, the entire time she's in there, the main thing theyre going to be telling her is "YOU NEED PEOPLE LIKE HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE. AS LONG AS HES USING, YOU HAVE NO CHANCE AT SOBRIETY. IF HE HAD REAL LOVE FOR YOU, DO YOU HONESTLY THINK HED BE LETTING YOU SELL YOUR BODY TO STRANGE MEN?"
Idk. Seems like a losing proposition if youre not trying to get clean too. Either she'll get clean and leave you, or she'll stay with you and start using again, keep fucking weird sad cocks. Seems like a lose-lose to me. But what do I know, sheeit?
Lol
One time this chick GRABBED ME and stuck her tongue down my throat. Totally unwarranted. Bitch was wanting to cook my canoli -
2017-09-11 at 2:45 AM UTC
Originally posted by mashlehash Lol
One time this chick GRABBED ME and stuck her tongue down my throat. Totally unwarranted. Bitch was wanting to cook my canoli
Cannolis are an uncooked assembly of a crunchy shell and sweetened ricotta cheese paste, reminiscent of cheesecake, and garnished with chocolate, almonds, powdered sugar, fruit, etc. So indeed, that would be TOTALLY UNWARRANTED.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-09-11 at 2:50 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Cannolis are an uncooked assembly of a crunchy shell and sweetened ricotta cheese paste, reminiscent of cheesecake, and garnished with chocolate, almonds, powdered sugar, fruit, etc. So indeed, that would be TOTALLY UNWARRANTED.
Bitch was nasty and looked like a caricature of a woman from highschool. -
2017-09-11 at 8:26 AM UTC
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2017-09-11 at 8:37 AM UTCRoses are red
Violets are blue
I'm really high
But lol, not youThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-09-11 at 8:46 AM UTClol
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2017-09-11 at 8:47 AM UTCi think i might think about going clean if she stays clean and does hook up with me when she gets out.
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2017-09-11 at 8:49 AM UTCfuck, did i really just say that? am i really considering changing a 29 year lifestyle and doing the thing i always thought i could never stand doing? am i fucking high right now?
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2017-09-11 at 8:50 AM UTCPussy got you whipped, boy. Be a real man and tell that bitch to stay clean when she gets out but watch you get high and suck your dick.
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2017-09-11 at 8:54 AM UTCThe phrasing was weird, but I obviously meant for her to watch you suck your own dick while you get high.
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2017-09-11 at 8:54 AM UTC
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2017-09-11 at 8:56 AM UTC
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2017-09-11 at 8:57 AM UTCBullshit. I didn't have a chick watching me.
