just made a 3 legged friend in the garden

1. 2017-08-14 at 7:36 PM UTC

   #41
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

   Originally posted by NARCassist i don't mean just when you get near them, whenever you watch them they just have a cool demeaner about them. plus house cats will hiss if you approach them wrong. that white cat with the 3 legs weren't exactly happy when i first approached. but i held back for a bit, bent my knees to appear lower and offered my hand for him to sniff. he came round after a little while and was very affectionate after that.
   
   protip: if you ever encounter a lion in the wild, never crouch down to make yourself appear smaller. he will see you as easier prey and will attack almost instantly. stand upright, this makes you appear bigger to the lion than he is, because you are a lot taller. this will make him much more weary of you. also never turn your back or run, you'll be dead in moments if you do.
   
   
   
   
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   Just don't fuck your new friend.
   
   MALICE
2. 2017-08-14 at 7:39 PM UTC

   #42
   

   NARCassist gollums fat coach

   Originally posted by benny vader gottdammmittt.
   
   i told you their not real cats. their toys.
   
   real cats dont have the ability to purr. and their meow are more like miniatured roars and growls than your regular soft, effeminate, beta meow.

   
   if you'd met norman you'd see he was no toy. i've never known a cat to whack you so hard with his paw and sink his teeth in so deep. he was really going for the kill when he went for you. my hand was literally covered in scratches and bite marks the whole time i had him. easily the most vicious cat i ever met.
   
   
   
   
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3. 2017-08-14 at 7:40 PM UTC

   #43
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   Toys dont require food and water.
4. 2017-08-14 at 7:59 PM UTC

   #44
   

   NARCassist gollums fat coach

   Originally posted by mmQ Toys dont require food and water.

   
   not true
   
   
   
   
   
   
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   Post last edited by NARCassist at 2017-08-14T20:28:40.658941+00:00
5. 2017-08-14 at 8:05 PM UTC

   #45
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   Error occured for trying to prove me wrong. :)
6. 2017-08-14 at 8:15 PM UTC

   #46
   

   benny vader YELLOW GHOST

   Originally posted by NARCassist if you'd met norman you'd see he was no toy. i've never known a cat to whack you so hard with his paw and sink his teeth in so deep. he was really going for the kill when he went for you. my hand was literally covered in scratches and bite marks the whole time i had him. easily the most vicious cat i ever met.

   
   thats why i called them a toy.
   
   with a real cat you'd already lost your left eye, a few fingers and chunks of meat from your face and neck.
   
   and maybe an ear too.
   
   edit : you'd be dead too if it wanted you dead.
   
   Post last edited by benny vader at 2017-08-14T20:18:32.503376+00:00
7. 2017-08-14 at 8:21 PM UTC

   #47
   

   NARCassist gollums fat coach

   Originally posted by benny vader edit : you'd be dead too if it wanted you dead.

   
   yes, that's how this reality works. i could also apply the same to you pal. i'm not scared tho, i accept this reality for what it is and get on with it.
   
   
   
   
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8. 2017-08-14 at 8:28 PM UTC

   #48
   

   NARCassist gollums fat coach

   Originally posted by benny vader thats why i called them a toy.
   
   with a real cat you'd already lost your left eye, a few fingers and chunks of meat from your face and neck.
   
   and maybe an ear too.

   
   helps if you know how to pacify a cat
   
   
   
   
   
   
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9. 2017-08-14 at 8:32 PM UTC

   #49
   

   benny vader YELLOW GHOST

   Originally posted by NARCassist helps if you know how to pacify a cat
   
   

   
   youtube is too slow thru tor so i dont click on that but i'm guessing thats a cloth peg to the base of its neck ????
10. 2017-08-14 at 9:09 PM UTC

    #50
    

    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    bulldog clip - cheat code for catz
    
    
    
    
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11. 2017-08-15 at 3:04 AM UTC

    #51
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by NARCassist i'd tell em to fuck off. fucking rent-a-cops
    
    
    
    
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    He was flaring up big time.. gnashing teeth. like Grrrr Move your fucking car.. can't you see people behind you coming in.
    
    I mean it is off of a highway ... literally the highway enterence to the bridge. that company is not loved by other business because their shuttles create hell of traffic at night and for the bridge that hardly anyone used when I was young.
    
    Shit.. after talking all this shit.. I wonder if I could get a bus Job there. for their employees. I would get free wi fi during my breaks and watch pr9n prolly. or not.
    
    Maybe they can get me a A,B License. then when they fire me.. I can go get a truck driver Job before they all end up AI. they make decent money these days.. especially Unions.
    
    I would hella get an old school CB Radio too..
    
    
    
    
12. 2017-08-15 at 4:52 AM UTC

    #52
    

    NARCassist gollums fat coach

    Originally posted by Totse 2001 He was flaring up big time.. gnashing teeth. like Grrrr Move your fucking car.. can't you see people behind you coming in.

    
    shoulda fronted up to the prick and be like 'who d'you think you're talking to pal?'
    
    
    
    
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13. 2017-08-15 at 4:56 AM UTC

    #53
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    I miss my cat
14. 2017-08-15 at 4:57 AM UTC

    #54
    

    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    yeah me too pal
    
    
    
    
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15. 2017-08-15 at 4:59 AM UTC

    #55
    

    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    i wonder how he's getting on. all i know is he was given to a farm. hopefully he is cool just chilling around the farm catching rats and shit. he'd be great at catching rats too. hopefully he has limited human contact there as well.
    
    
    
    
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16. 2017-08-15 at 5:26 AM UTC

    #56
    

    benny vader YELLOW GHOST

    Originally posted by NARCassist i wonder how he's getting on. all i know is he was given to a farm.

    
    the old farmers half autistic son had a strange thing for cats.
17. 2017-08-15 at 7:11 AM UTC

    #57
    

    NARCassist gollums fat coach

    Originally posted by benny vader the old farmers half autistic son had a strange thing for cats.

    
    malice lives on a farm ?? why isn't this on the news? i gotta go rescue him now
    
    
    
    
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18. 2017-08-15 at 8:06 AM UTC

    #58
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by NARCassist shoulda fronted up to the prick and be like 'who d'you think you're talking to pal?'
    
    
    
    
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    naw. pills make me to slow .. but with this new doctor maybe i'll be off of them fuck them pills anyways
    
    I mean I could of just kicked my door off and picked up my car and threw it at him all green faced and all but I might of got a low star rating from the manager guy. maybe deactivated :(
19. 2017-08-16 at 5:11 AM UTC

    #59
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    It's beautiful and sometimes curious how one could find themselves a new friend