2017-07-08 at 10:22 AM UTC
Since there seems to be some confusion: a short guide on how to drive
1. Drive in the appropriate lane. The lane farthest left is the fast lane (in the US). I don't care if you're doing 90 in a 35 zone, if someone comes up behind you, move into the slow lane and let them by. Do not stay in the fast lane because "they shouldn't be going that fast anyway." You are not the police. It is not your job to tell people how fast they should be going. That person could be rushing a stabbing victim to the hospital for all you know. Or they might just want more beer. It's none of your fucking business either way. Move.
2. If you can't maintain a speed greater than 5 below the speed limit on a two lane road, you should not be driving. I don't care how much you value your independence. I don't care if you're driving some piece of shit moped. Either get off the road, find a different way with lower speed limits or more lanes, or, if you absolutely must go that way, pull over into the shoulder and let people by if a train of cars is forming behind you.
3. Put on your turn signal before you hit the brakes. If you randomly hit the brakes and then put on your turn signal 2 seconds before your turn, you might as well have not even signaled. That's like flushing the toilet before you take a shit; it's maddeningly unhelpful and the person behind you will not be pleased.
4. The shoulder does not magically become a driving lane on a crowded interstate unless you are emergency services. Not only does it make congestion worse, but you very well could cost someone their life if an ambulance can't get through. All just to save a few minutes.
5. Driving 2 inches from my rear bumper on a two lane road does not magically make the person in front of me go faster. Don't fucking do it unless you are desperate for higher insurance payments.
6. At a 4-way stop, the person that stops at the sign first goes first. Glancing around to make sure nobody is moving, then cruising through the stop sign is not acceptable. If there is no one on any side of the 4-way stop except you, feel free to cruise through if you're willing to risk a ticket.
7. The double-yellow line is not a suggestion. Don't fucking cross it.
8. Those dotted white lines on a 4 (or more) lane road are not suggestions. Unless you're changing lanes, don't fucking cross them.
9. A green traffic light means "Go."
Not "finish your text and go." Not "find whatever you're digging in between your seats for and then go." Not "finish smacking your children and then go." It means "Go. Now. "
10. Don't stop 2 inches behind a driver at a red light on a steep hill. Keep your distance. If that person is driving a manual transmission and rolls backwards into you, guess who's getting blamed?
11. If you're driving and somebody begins to pass you, do not speed up just to prevent them from passing you. If you're actually going to continue going faster, fine. But if you immediately slow down right after that driver pulls in behind you, and then speed back up when they attempt to pass you again, you need to kill yourself in the most painful way possible. There is no fucking reason for this. Ever. All I can do is pray to God that this doesn't happen in other states/countries, because this is literally one of the stupidest and most maddening things I've ever seen, and I see it all the time. I can't even begin to understand why people do this.
Fucking South Carolinians can't drive for shit.
Post last edited by Kolokol-1 at 2017-07-08T10:27:39.088944+00:00
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2017-07-08 at 10:28 AM UTC
obllopbo ookoh unkoh unkoh a hu hu a hu hu a pikachu!
2017-07-08 at 3:05 PM UTC
ill simplify this to make it comprehensible for the lowest common denominator:
get off my road and stay the fuck out of my way
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2017-07-08 at 8:04 PM UTC
Nil
African Astronaut
[the overexcited four-footed chanar]
Originally posted by Kolokol-1
9. A green traffic light means "Go."
Not "finish your text and go." Not "find whatever you're digging in between your seats for and then go." Not "finish smacking your children and then go." It means "Go. Now. "
If I'm the second car at a light I'll sometimes lay on the horn a bit
just before the light turns green if I think somebody is distracted, hasn't "worked"
yet tho.
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2017-07-08 at 8:07 PM UTC
you forgot: dont be a queer and drive a manual
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2017-07-08 at 8:18 PM UTC
Originally posted by Kolokol-1
The lane farthest left is the fast lane (in the US). I don't care if you're doing 90 in a 35 zone, if someone comes up behind you, move into the slow lane and let them by.
The shoulder does not magically become a driving lane on a crowded interstate unless you are emergency services.
At a 4-way stop, the person that stops at the sign first goes first.
oh man. these piss me off. the shoulder thing... oh man. there was a really bad wreck up on i45 in north houston a while back and people were literally just driving in the shoulder like it was another lane just so they could get to the exit. not like one or two cars either, there was a line of people as long as the rest of the lanes just steadily going. and the worst thing is there was a hpd officer doing the same thing.
i was up in the heights a couple weeks back at a 4way intersection and i got to the stopsign before the 2 cars to the left of me at pulled up to theirs. one of them clearly had a functioning brain and stopped to let me go, but the other guy started going as i was going past. had to stomp on my brakes so he wouldnt run into me, and he had the audacity to look all mad like i did something wrong.
tfw lead foot and end up barely avoiding rear ending people sometimes
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2017-07-08 at 10:11 PM UTC
1. lanes are ambidextrous. driving on the left lane is just as good as driving on the right.
2017-07-08 at 10:12 PM UTC
2. steering wheels are designed to be operated by only one (1) hand. 2 hands operation not required.
2017-07-08 at 11:07 PM UTC
3. Yellow light means stop
2017-07-08 at 11:09 PM UTC
4. You are not legally obligated to stop for a 'police officer' (peace officer) or any laws at all. Just claim you are a sovereign citizen and remind them that you are a person. They cannot detain you.
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2017-07-08 at 11:10 PM UTC
5. If you are drinking and driving make sure to chug your drink before the officer gets to the window. This ensures you don't get an open container charge.
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2017-07-08 at 11:12 PM UTC
6. If you see a police officer on the road make sure to pull off to the right side
2017-07-08 at 11:35 PM UTC
7. Always expect other drivers can't see you and anticipate they may try to run you over.
2017-07-08 at 11:55 PM UTC
Nil
African Astronaut
[the overexcited four-footed chanar]
Originally posted by 霍比特人
4. You are not legally obligated to stop for a 'police officer' (peace officer) or any laws at all. Just claim you are a sovereign citizen and remind them that you are a person. They cannot detain you.
I HAVE A RIGHT TO TRAVEL!!!!!!something something maritime law
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2017-07-09 at 1:04 AM UTC
That fucking 'protect and serve' bullshit makes me lol every time. That is the LAPD's motto, not anything which is intrinsically linked to the police forces of America. Also the 'public servant' and 'peace officer' shit is fucking retarded. Their ONLY job is to enforce the law. They don't even have to protect you if you're being assaulted or something.
2017-07-09 at 1:14 AM UTC
- if youre riding a moped, do not wave at anyone riding a motorcycle. you are a bitch and dont deserve acknowledgement.
- do not buy an 8 cylinder or larger sports car if you are a bitch and dont intend to at least try to race someone challenging you, much less drive below the speed limit in the fast land, blocking traffic. (yea, you, faggot in the 2017 vette who wouldnt even look over at me)
- if you drive a vette dont wave/honk at someone else driving a vette if youre a scared bitch and cant even make an attempt at pretending you know how to press the throttle pedal further than 10% capacity.
2017-07-09 at 1:30 AM UTC
I constantly have road rage for people being disrespectful, distracted drivers. It pisses me off so fucking much. I scream "faggot" and "nigger" a lot at people.
Did have someone nice though the other day, black woman (not a nigger since obviously she proved herself a human being by doing this) pulls up along side me, taps her horn a couple toots, and I look over and she shouts over "Hey, your left break light is out" "Thanks! I appreciate it, better you tell me than a cop!" She thumps up me and drives on. She was driving a piece of shit car, but all her lights were working lol it gave me hope in humanity again... but I still screamed at and called 3 people niggers or faggots for my hour ride commute home that day...
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