Weirdest things you've done to get off

1. 2017-07-03 at 4:45 AM UTC

   #1
   

   Pornguy Yung Blood
   I'm sure someone here can relate.
   
   I just painted my dick black with a sharpie and jerked myself off and pretended I was giving a black guy a handy.
   
   This shit won't wash off though.
2. 2017-07-03 at 4:56 AM UTC

   #2
   cerakote African Astronaut
   when i was like 11 and hadnt figured out how to yank my shit like an adult i would just rub a stuffed animal on my dick for a while
   
   then i learned what porn was and i literally google image searched boobs on my phone (which was a fucking lg lotus)
3. 2017-07-03 at 5:17 AM UTC

   #3
   RestStop Space Nigga
   Tossin' money on a strip club Flo'.
4. 2017-07-03 at 5:27 AM UTC

   #4
   

   Pornguy Yung Blood

   Originally posted by cerakote when i was like 11 and hadnt figured out how to yank my shit like an adult i would just rub a stuffed animal on my dick for a while
   
   then i learned what porn was and i literally google image searched boobs on my phone (which was a fucking lg lotus)

   
   Your lucky, all I had at that age was old magazines
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • The Self Taught Man
5. 2017-07-03 at 5:32 AM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by Pornguy Your lucky, all I had at that age was old magazines

   
   I had to find girls in movies and shit, I didn't have a computer, phone, or magazine
6. 2017-07-03 at 5:37 AM UTC

   #6
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Jerked it to an Asari stripper in Mass Effect once when I was like 15.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Pornguy
7. 2017-07-03 at 5:46 AM UTC

   #7
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by 霍比特人 Jerked it to an Asari stripper in Mass Effect once when I was like 15.

   
   I think the weirdest shit I've ever jerked it to was Rouge the bat, I was like 10 or 11
   
   
   
   I was destined to become a furry but thankfully I acquired normal pornography soon after that and the crisis was averted
8. 2017-07-03 at 5:49 AM UTC

   #8
   

   Sophie Pedophile Tech Support

   Originally posted by 霍比特人 Jerked it to an Asari stripper in Mass Effect once when I was like 15.

   
   Dat blue ass.
9. 2017-07-03 at 5:51 AM UTC

   #9
   

   Lanny Bird of Courage

   Originally posted by 霍比特人 Jerked it to an Asari stripper in Mass Effect once when I was like 15.

   
   Lol ass effect
   
   
   
   That shit was obnoxious, especially in 2
10. 2017-07-03 at 5:53 AM UTC

    #10
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Sophie Dat blue ass.

    
    There's actually a guy who is vehemently committed to producing high-quality Mass Effect porn gifs.
    
    

    Show spoiler

    
    
    But uhh, I don't look at them ever..
11. 2017-07-03 at 5:53 AM UTC

    #11
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    FUCK why don't they work.
    
    edit: fixt
12. 2017-07-03 at 5:59 AM UTC

    #12
    cerakote African Astronaut

    Originally posted by 霍比特人 Jerked it to an Asari stripper in Mass Effect once when I was like 15.

    
    i jerked off to a porn spray on tf2 once
13. 2017-07-03 at 6:12 AM UTC

    #13
    

    Pornguy Yung Blood

    Originally posted by 霍比特人 Jerked it to an Asari stripper in Mass Effect once when I was like 15.

    
    Haha same here, grand theft auto and duke nukem too
14. 2017-07-03 at 6:41 AM UTC

    #14
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition

    Originally posted by cerakote i jerked off to a porn spray on tf2 once

    
    did you get backstabbed before you finished?
15. 2017-07-03 at 7:04 AM UTC

    #15
    

    Lanny Bird of Courage
    new TF2 strat: spray porn on a wall, wait for enemy teenagers to gawk at it masturbating, then backstab them.
16. 2017-07-03 at 7:06 AM UTC

    #16
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition

    Originally posted by Lanny new TF2 strat: spray porn on a wall, wait for enemy teenagers to gawk at it masturbating, then backstab them.

    
    hah, someone beat you to it, I saw a video a while back
17. 2017-07-03 at 7:06 AM UTC

    #17
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Lanny
18. 2017-07-03 at 9:51 AM UTC

    #18
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    when i was 11 i couldnt figure out how to fap so i'd stick toothpicks up my dick when i had an erection
19. 2017-07-03 at 10:05 AM UTC

    #19
    

    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support

    Originally posted by 霍比特人 There's actually a guy who is vehemently committed to producing high-quality Mass Effect porn gifs.
    
    

    Show spoiler

    
    
    But uhh, I don't look at them ever..

    
    That's actually pretty good.
20. 2017-07-03 at 1:13 PM UTC

    #20
    

    RisiR † 29 Autism
    11 and you rubbed a teddy on your dick?! LOL.
    
    I think I got my first handjob at 11..