2025-01-13 at 5:22 PM UTC
igbo
Houston
[cringe your preliminary chenopodium]
my cousin's dad's nephew's ex-girlfriend's neighbor's former roommate FRANK has put together a comprehensive tutorial for exploiting your renter's insurance policy and have them give you MONEY!!!
money is pretty sick and if you want to have more of it then you do now, and you have a renters insurance policy, complete this tutorial and give your dad a big KISS for me.
PREREQUISITES:
* an open mind
* a renter's insurance policy
* a little elbow grease
only 1% of all renters insurance policies ever make a claim. this is a documented statistic. some cities in the united states REQUIRE all renters to have their own renters insurance policies and they won't give you the key to your apartment without this policy. policies are pretty cheap. expect to pay between $40-100 monthly. the more you pay, the more coverage you get. and the more coverage you get means more money for you! also the cheaper policies tend to do much more investigating and sometimes straight up denying claims (even if they may be legit)
steps:
1. have your policy for at least 6 months, one year is ideal but you can make 6 months work.
2. after this time period has passed, look at your policy coverage limits. each policy provides different amounts of coverage per category of item. so for example, on your $60 all-state policy you might have $5000 worth of coverage for electronics/digital media and only $2000 for jedielry. so if you tried to claim $8000 worth of jedielry was stolen from your apartment they would only be able to give you $2000. so look at your category limits.
3. now you need to make a list of items that you are going to tragically lose in a burglary in the near future. do not go too crazy especially if you have a cheap $20 policy. if you have a $100/month policy you can safely claim $20-30k with almost zero investigation. honestly do not recommend doing this with anything less then a $100/month policy.
another important thing: if you have $2000 worth of jedielry coverage, do not claim $1999 worth of gold chains got stolen. you don't want to get suspiciously close to the category limits that's one of the indicators they use to detect fraudulent claims and then deny them.
critical tip:
YOU NEED TO PUT RANDOM, CHEAP ITEMS ON YOUR CLAIM. like your pack of cigarettes, toilet paper, condoms, hairbrush. if you only put expensive ass shit they will deny your claim.
step 4. go out of town for a vacation for a couple days. come back home go inside and mess your place up a little. open your drawers and rifle thru them (panty drawer lol), make shit look disheveled and messy.
5. take photos of the messy apartment
6. go to sleep
7. the next day you have two options. one can be intimidating for some people, but it will help your claim immensely. if you file a police report about your shit getting broken into and robbed it will significantly increase the likelihood of your claim being approved straightaway. nowadays you can usually file a police report online and there is usually a box that says (CLICK ME IF YOU NEED AN OFFICER TO COME OUT TO RESPOND) so dont click that. in the report all you need to write is:
i went out of town for vacation to ______ and on ____, 2025 i returned from vacation to find my apartment broken into, messed up and stuff thrown around my food eaten and things are gone. things that were stolen were........
the captain will sign it and email it back to you. send this police report to your insurance company. if this is your first time making a claim on a renters policy this should be all you need. when you get to your second and third claim thats when they start asking for receipts for the items that were "stolen" but thats an easy thing to fake. make a post on craigslist or offerup with the item for sale and just message back and forth with yourself acting like you are purchasing this item from this person. then you can send the insurance people screenshots of that convo. they will accept that as proof of ownnership. or you can make a receipt for a company that does not exist anymore like they went out of business and you bought whatever from them. they wont be able to verify that lol.
if you have any questions i am igbo
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2025-01-13 at 9:39 PM UTC
Instructions unclear. Now my penis is stuck and my dad is pissed!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2025-01-20 at 8:05 AM UTC
You can't file police reports for burglary online.
2025-01-20 at 5:01 PM UTC
Would this cover cars if stolen from the garage? It's technically inside the property?
2025-01-20 at 7:27 PM UTC
What's the penalty for getting caught, though? It's gotta be jail time, maybe 6 months or more? and a big fine.
2025-01-21 at 8:22 AM UTC
so now frank seems like a liar
