2024-01-14 at 2:01 PM UTC
mashlehash
victim of incest
[my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
i hope we dre4am some more
2024-01-14 at 3:31 PM UTC
i literally think you mean literary there instead of literacy
2024-06-06 at 10:32 AM UTC
12 days no booze. Its been up and down thing the last year but certainly have come a long way to how much I was drinking for those blurry lost years
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2024-06-06 at 11:10 PM UTC
I've been seriously considering trying to quit smoking and vaping. Every time I light a cigarette I can almost feel it shortening my life. I can't imagine what 30 years of heavy smoking has done. I quit fentanyl pretty much cold turkey, been dope sick so many times but I feel like the cigarettes are going to be the most difficult to give up. It's still just a thought but I guess that's a small step in the right direction.
2024-06-06 at 11:50 PM UTC
like in what about bob? the movie.. Baby steps ^
2024-06-06 at 11:59 PM UTC
I've never seen that but yeah. Right now it's just a thought, I'm not really ready to commit yet. I feel like it's going to be the hardest drug to quit. It wouldn't be so bad if there was some kind of benefit like got you high or was medicinal but it's pure addiction and death.
2024-06-07 at 1:32 AM UTC
Kinks
Actually pretty straight
[bitch the twenty-second stewpan]
excellent this is exactly what I need right now, time to get weird @__@
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
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2024-06-07 at 1:48 AM UTC
Anytime is a good time to get weird, I don't know how to not be weird
2024-06-07 at 1:54 AM UTC
Kinks
Actually pretty straight
[bitch the twenty-second stewpan]
getting real weird quitting this krat0m, weird maniacal laughing to myself in the woods
my neighbors must think I am a madwoman
2024-06-07 at 5:22 AM UTC
I havent drank in a couple weeks but its mostly bc i feel like shit and i dont want to. Otherwise ive been pretty lazy recovery wise. I hit like one meeting a month. I just eatn play video games n pay bills and work and generally be a boring piece of shit
2024-08-01 at 11:40 AM UTC
i could be worse, but im not doing great. Recovery is kind of a holistic thing, and ive kind of just been wallowing. i didnt drink today but i did take a mexican xanax bc the panic attacks ive been having are absolutely brutal. I drive drunk as fuck more often than i should. Moreso after i found out my gf is pregnant and she wants to keep the baby. Id already felt like i was drowning and this just kind of pushed me deeper. Said i needed a little space to breathe for a bit, and that we should focus on being friends and partners and we ended up breaking up. I thought id feel relieved after 2.5 years of a very emotionally demanding relationship but i dont. In tje places i dont feel numb, I feel empty. I feel bad that im unwilling or unable to give her what she wants. I feel bad that something that should be so happy is turning into such a messy shit show. I feel bad that she probably feels scared and alone. And that we’re in this position because i couldnt bring myself to set clear boundaries earlier on in our relationship. Got a good job and then lost it because i couldnt properly juggle 2 jobs and id committed to wait out the first one.
They just lowered my credit limit on one of the CCs i never used from $35,000 to 6k so thats going to fuck my credit score a bit.
Idk. Im fucking tired. Like soul tired. But im so anxious i cant even sleep. Alcohol sucks. And then i have terrible fucking dreams.
“Everything is always going to be fine, even when it isnt”- is what i keep telling myself. Life’s slow grinding away smooths out all the sharp edges eventually. But feeling like an observer in your own life just really sucks. I dont know why it feels this way.
Anyway. Its fine.
